Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I've been seeing this guy for a month now and sometimes he can be super kind and other times he can be an ***. I saw him last week and things were perfectly fine but this week he wasn't very kind at all. He didn't call me much at all and when I IMed him he didn't say anything. I asked him about coming over watching a movie and getting some snacks to munch on and he said he was broke. He's been saying that alot lately I know the economy isn't the best and I know bills come etc,etc but if he really cared he should be coming over right?? I can't visit him because he lives with his grandma and she doesn't like having company over so that's out of the question. I try so hard to be patient but it has been so hard lately. Today I caught him in a lie when I said I sent you something on AOL and you deleted it and he said no I didn't but he totally did because when I checked sent mail it said deleted. I just don't get him at all! Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 He likes to keep you on confuse and that's where you are. I would ignore him until he improves his behavior. No need to say anything. Link to comment
UniqueSoul Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 do you love him? or feel strongly attached to him? if not, i say leave. he sounds like bad news Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 eh - i'd ditch him. honestly. he's giving you a bunch of excuses and it's too early on to deal with this crap. I mean - you invited him to YOUR place, to watch a movie and have a snack. Presumably, the only thing he would have to pay for is the gas to drive over, right? if he can't afford that, he has no business dating. Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Ya true. He drives a hummer but still gas isn't that much money and he lives 10-15 minutes from my house. I just don't get how one minute he wants to see me and the next time I ask to see him he's suddenly broke. Link to comment
offplanet Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 do you love him? or feel strongly attached to him? if not, i say leave. he sounds like bad news If she DOES love him or feel strongly attached, even more reason to leave! Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I want to stop but it's like a band-aid I can't seem to pull it off. He's very inconsiderate but I just keep going back and back. I keep putting that band-aid on and I won't pull it off ( so to speak) I just don't know why I keep going back he's so inconsiderate and mean but yet I keep going back and keep getting hurt. Not physically hurt mentally hurt like he doesn't care about my feelings but his own and he only seems to want to talk when he wants to and come see me when he wants to not when I want to does that make sense? Link to comment
Stay_home Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I want to stop but it's like a band-aid I can't seem to pull it off. He's very inconsiderate but I just keep going back and back. I keep putting that band-aid on and I won't pull it off ( so to speak) I just don't know why I keep going back he's so inconsiderate and mean but yet I keep going back and keep getting hurt. Not physically hurt mentally hurt like he doesn't care about my feelings but his own and he only seems to want to talk when he wants to and come see me when he wants to not when I want to does that make sense? Perhaps before going further along into this relationship you should look within yourself and try to find out why you're allowing this to happen. The constant back and forth spin on things, the inconsistent - always on edge - never knowing what''ll happen next. Why? Why are you drawn to this? Find the answer to that, first. Link to comment
blackhawks1287 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Deep down you keep going back because you strive for his acceptance, and you want that challenge. You cannot explain the feelings deep down, but you just feel like you have to go back and you expect the same things every time, only to be let down. You want him because you don't have him. How old are you honestly? Link to comment
jaysmaury Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Ah, the old "I'm broke" excuse. I've used that one many times -still do on occasion. Stop wasting your time on him. Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Why does he still call me sometimes and say hey want to go out tonight?? I don't get that part at all. He isn't on dating sites anymore ( I met him on Match) I have checked his profile he hasn't been on there in ages and I checked his Zoosk Profile he hasn't be on there in ages either and on his Match profile it says seeing someone which would be me but yet he doesn't have time to see me?? He also said he wants to take me to New York for the weekend sometime. I just don't understand why he keeps calling me and asking me out only when he wants to but when I ask he can't he is broke but when he can he is suddenly un-broke. It is always spur of the moment Link to comment
jaysmaury Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I just don't understand why he keeps calling me and asking me out only when he wants to but when I ask he can't he is broke but when he can he is suddenly un-broke. Guys do that because it's convenient for us. He's not broke - those are just the times he doesn't want to see you. It's cruel but true. In our defense, though - our brains don't work the way girl's brains do. We don't really think about any emotional hardship we're putting on you because we can't really relate to it or understand it. So it's not necessarily maliciousness... more like ignorance. Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I keep trying to figure out if he has another girl I am on his facebook and I spy on him all the time and he isn't dating anyone at his work because they are all guys besides his boss and she's 50 and married and he isn't a bar person so he wouldn't pick up a girl there. Maybe he is just fickle or flaky. One minute he cannot wait to hang out the next eh I don't have money sorry. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I keep trying to figure out if he has another girl I am on his facebook and I spy on him all the time and he isn't dating anyone at his work because they are all guys besides his boss and she's 50 and married and he isn't a bar person so he wouldn't pick up a girl there. Maybe he is just fickle or flaky. One minute he cannot wait to hang out the next eh I don't have money sorry. you're spying on him? you've been dating him for a month! and he has money to have a hummer but not to pay for gas for a 10 minute ride?? hm. I think this is a case of "he's just not that into you." Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Duh I've read the book bought the shirt but why does he call me to ask me out if he isn't into me explain that one. I mean why toy with someone's emotions ask them out when they suddenly want to go out and tell me about taking me to NYC bring his grandma over to my apt to meet me if he isn't into me?? THAT MAKES NO SENSE! I ask him out he's broke but when he asks me out on his time he is unbroke and has all the time in the world. Now if someone was into me would they call me?? No that is what confuses me. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Duh I've read the book bought the shirt but why does he call me to ask me out if he isn't into me explain that one. Have you guys had sex yet? If so, maybe he's just after a booty call. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Duh I've read the book bought the shirt but why does he call me to ask me out if he isn't into me explain that one. I mean why toy with someone's emotions ask them out when they suddenly want to go out and tell me about taking me to NYC bring his grandma over to my apt to meet me if he isn't into me?? THAT MAKES NO SENSE! I ask him out he's broke but when he asks me out on his time he is unbroke and has all the time in the world. Now if someone was into me would they call me?? No that is what confuses me. it means that he's not interested in dating you full time - just when he feels like it. i think the thing about 'introducing you to my grandmother' is what a lot of players/smooth guys say - to make it seem like there is a serious relationship on the horizon, but his actions indicate there is not. Link to comment
jaysmaury Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Duh I've read the book bought the shirt but why does he call me to ask me out if he isn't into me explain that one. I mean why toy with someone's emotions ask them out when they suddenly want to go out and tell me about taking me to NYC bring his grandma over to my apt to meet me if he isn't into me?? THAT MAKES NO SENSE! I ask him out he's broke but when he asks me out on his time he is unbroke and has all the time in the world. Now if someone was into me would they call me?? No that is what confuses me. Guys like the attention. It strokes our ego. I have flirted with plenty of girls that I would not consider dating or hooking up with. When they hit on me, I flirt back a little bit because it is fun for both of us. He's not intentionally toying with your emotions. He probably sees it as innocent flirting and you see it as much more. If he's not going after a booty call, then it is probably simply an ego thing. Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 So basically it's his terms when it comes to dating and while he might not be into dating me full-time he is into me when it is his terms I suppose.It still kinda irritates me when I said I sent him something in e-mail on AOL and he deleted it and when I asked him why did you delete that it was a funny joke I saw on youtube he said I didn't delete it send it again. Guess he didn't like being caught Link to comment
jaysmaury Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 So basically it's his terms when it comes to dating and while he might not be into me he is into me when it is his terms I suppose. Even on his own terms, he's probably not that into you. Find a new guy and leave this one behind. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 So basically it's his terms when it comes to dating and while he might not be into me he is into me when it is his terms I suppose. That sounds about right. Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I need to find a new man I suppose. I am done with dating sites though even the pay ones you can still find jerky people. I need to find someone at a social gathering or something like that and stay off dating sites once and for all. Link to comment
Rose30 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 The answer to the question of why he keeps behaving in this way, (asking you out when it suits him etc...)is because HE CAN. Because you allow him, because you're behaviour unfortunately shows that you're willing to take crums from a relationship and you don't value yourself and your time enough to expect a guy to call you and arrange for a proper date. Men usually adopt the same attitude you have about yourself, so you need to look at your own behaviour first and modify it before dating other people. Link to comment
Happyhappyjoy Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I saw him online on Facebook and he quickly logged off when I came on. He was so kind a week ago but now he's acting like im not even alive. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I would probably not consider him "your man" anymore.... Link to comment
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