threadhead Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I try to fight these feelings with every ounce of my being because I am in a relationship with a man that i truly respect. I also dont want my man to feel or look like a fool. I thought these feelings for the other guy would go away but its been years and i'm at odds with myself. My life is in shambles and this is the last thing I should be thinking about but I can't help but feel I'm fighting nature on this one. We are all mutual friends and in the time we spend together I only see myself making a home with him. Not the man who loves me to death and treats me like a queen. My bf and I are never on the same page and have no lines of communication and there is zero romance we dont even kiss and he thinks this is normal. How that doesn't inspire him to end the relationship is beyond me. I always know I wanted out of this but its very complicated I've been with him almost half my life. Ane he puts up with So much of my crap and my little alcohol problem. On the other hand me and this other dude are totally in sync, its asif we can finish each others sentences. Whats crazy is that we both feel the same way about my bf. He loves him too and sees all his good qualities and deals with the annoying ones. He also respects him so much that he wouldnt dare try anything with any girl his friend is dating..lucky me. I have never dared to even lock eyes with the friend or give him any indication that I'm about to burst inside trying to battle these feelings. I want this thing so bad that I just wanna be single so he can court me. I cant believe I used that word but its why I would never even give him a hint. I dunno what to do because this man whom worships the ground I walk on is dead set on not letting anyone have his pie. i swear he probably acts like this because he took my virginity. I feel like I am pressed for time because the friend is single and we are at that age of marriage and children. I don't want to allow too much time so a random chick can enter the picture. This equation feels soo backwards. When he leaves my place I feel like my boyfriend should be the one leaving? I know it isn't lust we are just soo compatible. Here's the kicker I don't even know whats going on in his head. I don't even know if hes attracted to me.. i'm dieing to find out. I have a hunch my bf also saw the potential for me and "the friend" so he's sabotaging me by possibly telling this guy off putting things about me. He could purposely be talking about our sex life which has to be a turn off because no one wants another dudes "left overs". How should I go about this? I don't wanna be alone for the next couple of decades waiting for my soulmate to get divorced because he married the wrong gal. Whew that felt good to get off my chest. Sorry if this post is confusing its soo hard to organize bottled up feelings, confused thoughts and hidden emotions while putting them into words. Part of me wonders if the intensity has only to do with the whole forbidden fruit thing. Link to comment
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