genki Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Hi guys, I guess I kinda want your opinions on this, and if you've been in a similar situation to me I'd love to hear from you... Basically I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months, I'm 20, he's 23. Before I met him I was single for 3 years to try and work on being happy alone as I believe you can't make someone else happy until you're happy within yourself, and to make sure that the next person I was with was good for me. he's the most incredible person I've ever met and I love him so deeply and I know he feels the same and on the whole things are great with us. However I have a bad habit of getting very over emotional and over analysing everything, worrying constantly, and as a result, I end up picking and nagging him over little things or getting into arguments over nothing, or being really short with him and questioning things, or crying for no apparent reason on the phone, or overreacting to things. I think it might be some form of anxiety, but I'm not sure... I'm not like it all the time, it tends to happen in phases, and he's been incredibly patient and supportive with me. But recently in the past couple of weeks it seems like it's gotten worse, I think maybe because we've both moved into new houses for our second year of university, so now I feel like I have to share him with other people and I'm not getting the attention I feel I need from him... a few days ago we went out, drinks were flowing, and i was particularly bad that night with picking at little things, and we ended up arguing, he basically said he hates it when I get like this, that i've been getting worse and worse and that if it carries on then we're probrably not going to work out, though he loves me and doesn't want to break up with me. The thought of that really shocked and horrified me. I actually thought that I had gotten better with my behaviour over the summer, only occasionally getting upset and emotional, so to hear that he thought I'd gotten worse really upset me because I felt like things were going really well, but in fact in his eyes, they weren't, so that's made me feel even more insecure... I also genuinely can't imagine being with anybody else, I don't really think anyone else could deal with me the way he does, so the thought of us not being together absolutely terrifies me. I appreciate him every day for putting up with me and I know he loves me very very much. I just don't know what to do to stop myself being like this. I don't know why I do it in the first place, I don't know what triggers it, I just know that whenever it happens I get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety, insecurity and I feel very needy. I feel like I'm not good enough for him. I have no need to be anxious or insecure because I trust him 100%. This behaviour is so destructive to me, him, and our relationship, I don't want to lose him, I'm at a loss of what to do, and he feels bad because he feels like he doesn't make me happy. If I don't sort myself out now I know I'm going to lose him, and that thought tears me to pieces. I just don't know what to do Link to comment
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