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I'm so jealous at the one I love


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I'm so jealous at this guy that I love. Well, we were best friends and I fell in love with him, and now I told him that I have to distance myself from him because he doesn't feel the same. And it hurts. But life goes on. We're now both in a foreign country as we're on overseas academic exchange and I have just been so jealous these days at him, because he is just so popular everywhere he goes with boys and especially girls.


We're both Asians and even white girls find him attractive. He's the most charming and charismatic person I have ever met without trying. And I used to admire him so much for that. But after being so in love with him and having 'separate lives' for two weeks now, I have just been so jealous to see all these popularity that he's getting, there're always guys and girls asking him out and everything.


I know life is not a competition, but I can't get over this jealousy feeling?


I go out and have a good time too but I will come home, and then dwell on this. It frustrates me how I'm not as popular? It's like, my family thinks he's so nice and charming, my friends think so, basically the whole world likes this guy! And I can understand why... he's just very attractive, physically and personality-wise, plus he's super flirtatious so.. that explains it.


How do I get over these crappy feelings? It's definitely from lack of self confidence, insecurity, personal issues with him and egoism. I wish I can just let go and be myself, live my life and be happy with or without a lot of attention.

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You go out, you have a good time... sounds like you have the recipe for a happy life!


You don't get more in life by wishing others less. Also, jealousy isn't necessarily a bad thing, in that it can tell us what we most desire. If you're feeling jealous of his attractive personality, maybe it's time to cultivate those same traits in yourself - chances are they're there already - which will help you overcome the feeling much more effectively than resenting him for not returning your feelings.


Let yourself know that you are lovable and wonderful, that you have masses to give, and then get out there! Stop comparing yourself to others; there will always be people better than you, and worse than you, and this has the potential for either vanity or bitterness - neither of which are comfortable traits in the long run.


If you have serious issues around self esteem, think about seeing a therapist. This may not be necessary, though and maybe all you need to do is appreciate what you've already got.

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