Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Gone 2 months without checking it but received a text from him the other day, and instead of replying, I went to check his FB just to see if it had anything to do with the best friend (aka the girl he "cheated" on me with) going somewhere (was hoping dying) but that was too good to be true. Needless to say, FB gave me no insight into what the "crumbs" (text) meant and I knew that but yet I did it. There's my confession. How else still does this? I'm hoping I'm not the only one here that subconsciously "insists" in setting herself back. I feel better now that he's rarely on my mind, and it's starting to hurt less and less everyday but FB still seems to be an issue. Confessions? And how long has it been since the actual breakup? 6-7 months for me. Link to comment
lemsip Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 4 words: De Act Iv Ate Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Never. Nothing good could ever come from it. Deleted and blocked both her and the new guy, a couple of mutal friends even, a few weeks after the break up. Early on I made the mistake of using a mutual friends profile to check up on her. It was terrible. Pictures of her and the new guy all over the place. I have learned my lesson. Stay strong people, they don't matter anymore. Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I can say that I have been checking more than i should... however I don't find it to be setting me back at all... I am over 3 months NC and just about 1 week I had checked fb... and my mother has her a a friend so if i wanted to i can have total access to her page, I choose not to though. she knows what she left. and I certainly know what I DID NOT lose out on. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 I have no FB, I checked through a friend's. I know how bad it is that I still do it but am I really the only one? lol Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 4 words: De Act Iv Ate Yeah, I would like to do this eventually. I just like being able to see the pictures. Link to comment
Charingx1 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I still check my ex fb even though I feel I'm finally making progress moving on. For me Its like I need to know when she's met someone else, I don't want it to come as a surprise. Finding out she was Looking to date helped me massively and once I confirm she is dating that will be my closure. But I do try not to Look! Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I would if I could... But I deleted him! I've since re requested him as a friend but he's not accepted! Probably for the best! Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I removed her from my FB. Unfortunately her profile was "open" so I could still snoop around. I only snooped once, and I ended up feeling pretty bad when I saw some guy (who looked like me, had same style, same hair cut, similar picture, same everything) commenting her pictures. That's when I decided to delete my account. Link to comment
lapse Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I would if I could... But I deleted him! I've since re requested him as a friend but he's not accepted! Probably for the best! If it leaves you hanging, you can go and cancel your friend request. Link to comment
symbiot Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 She told me she didn't ha a FB then right after I moved away I found that she does. I looked a it twice (the night I found it then again the next night) then I stopped cause it caused me too much pain. I found nothing on htere just the fact that she lied about that too was enough. I also kept seeing her name pop up under people I may know so I had a friend (that was not my FB friend look up my profile and the minute he did it suggested that I may know him so I think she has been checking my profile. So I deactivated it. Too much anxiety!!! Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 1m50L0nl3y -- Haha, this reminds me of me. His best friend used to be very different than me (polar opposites), but now she's starting to look like me (she wishes) with things she's changed about herself (from what I can tell on his profile). They've also started to do things he and I used to do together. It hurt me in the beginning, but now it's almost satisfying that he needs my clone in his life. They're not even official (still single) so it all screams REBOUND. Can totally relate though. Link to comment
beacon Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 4 words: De Act Iv Ate This. I did it and then reactivated and it led to me going to her page where (though I de-friended her) I can still see all of her posts and photos. It just made me miss her IMMENSELY. It's almost as bad as seeing her in person. I'm getting a sinking feeling just thinking about it. Deactivate. It helps. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 I did deactivate it, but when I have that immense need to know what's going on in his life, I just borrow my friend's phone and check on his profile real quick. Insane, I know. Glad to know I'm not the only psycho/stalker. Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 1m50L0nl3y -- Haha, this reminds me of me. His best friend used to be very different than me (polar opposites), but now she's starting to look like me (she wishes) with things she's changed about herself (from what I can tell on his profile). They've also started to do things he and I used to do together. It hurt me in the beginning, but now it's almost satisfying that he needs my clone in his life. They're not even official (still single) so it all screams REBOUND. Can totally relate though. LOL! What things has she changed so far? Link to comment
1guygirl Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 4 words: De Act Iv Ate WORD!!!! my ex blocked me...and i thought pffft no need for that and i was dumbfounded. well from my ex's POV there was a guy on my profile pic what the daft apeth didnt realise (which im still dumbfounded as to how he couldnt) was that this guy wasnt a new bf or anything, it was ME in drag....i had some soot on my face and chin from cleaning out my multifuel stove, and it kinda went from there....hood up, thicken up my eyebrows and hey presto 1guyguy anyways...ive deactivated cos it was jus too tempting every now and then, and also i wanted to be gone from his life totally and i know it really helps with healing when theres no connection at all - even if you dont go on it, its still a link in some way. besides i get soooo much more done now its gone Link to comment
Eocsor Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Facebook is evil. I never look at it. Just opens you up for a world of pain. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 She changed her haircut, her hair-color (mine is blonde and hers used to be dark brown), wears contacts that match my eye color (hers are dark, mine are lighter so she wears some that look like mine), lost some weight. That's all I could see but it made my day. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 If it leaves you hanging, you can go and cancel your friend request. Arghhhh, I probably should do that... Not sure I'm ready to cut the cord again yet though lol. Although I'm over the fact that he hasn't accepted, I still wonder if he ever will. I'm not even sure whether I want him to! haha. Here I go getting complicated again! Cripes I'm pathetic haha Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 She changed her haircut, her hair-color (mine is blonde and hers used to be dark brown), wears contacts that match my eye color (hers are dark, mine are lighter so she wears some that look like mine), lost some weight. That's all I could see but it made my day. Wow that seems too much of a makeover to be simple coincidence, if that happened to me I would be laughing my ass off for the next 10 years. Crazy, crazy, woman! In my case my ex met the guy in an online dating site, and I was shocked because before she met me she was only into black guys, then I dumped her, and she goes online dating and gets my long lost twin brother..... Too much of a coincidence too. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 Arghhhh, I probably should do that... Not sure I'm ready to cut the cord again yet though lol. Although I'm over the fact that he hasn't accepted, I still wonder if he ever will. I'm not even sure whether I want him to! haha. Here I go getting complicated again! Cripes I'm pathetic haha We all become a little pathetic after a breakup. Everything else in my life is well-put together except the situation with my ex. It's like that one flaw on the back of your mind even when everything is going well. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 Wow that seems too much of a makeover to be simple coincidence, if that happened to me I would be laughing my ass off for the next 10 years. Crazy, crazy, woman! In my case my ex met the guy in an online dating site, and I was shocked because before she met me she was only into black guys, then I dumped her, and she goes online dating and gets my long lost twin brother..... Too much of a coincidence too. I know, it made my day. It's hilarious how they subconsciously still want us in their life but won't really admit it out of pride or something else. I always thought this girl wasn't his type and he went totally off with her, but I thought I was just being jealous. Now that my mind is much clearer, it's more like he had GIGS, this girl liked him, tried to get with him, this boosted his ego, and things happened but once I decided to pull out, he realized this other girl maybe wasn't even all that. They're still nothing official, maybe even nothing is going on, and he keeps throwing crumbs around. Too late for that bull * * * * . Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We all become a little pathetic after a breakup. Everything else in my life is well-put together except the situation with my ex. It's like that one flaw on the back of your mind even when everything is going well. I was barely even a relationship, it was so short lived lol. Its the friendship that I'm grieving for most. ooohhhhhhhhh facebook is EVIL!!! Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 There is this thing called block.... Helps out alot... Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 In the 10 months or so that we have been officially done I have checked it only once. I've had him deleted and blocked since last November for my own sanity. When I saw him in May my nosiness got the better of me and I snooped and unblocked him for a little while to see what he was up to. No good came of it. Intact everything I did following seeing him was a mistake. Recently I did take a peak at another page he has on a social networking site we are on. He hasn't updated it in a few months though but still looking at it made me feel icky. At this point I don't ever want to look at his fb again. I have moments of weakness sometimes but I know it's better to just stay away from it. Link to comment
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