for the love of christ, i need serious help :(

[Belts]

Well, I've taken a long hiatus from this thread and have been sorting out issues in my life over the past few months. I have become much more social and have been finding it extremely easy to talk to girls. I've really turned over a new leaf. HOWEVER, I have had zero dates since my last post here. I kind of backed off on worrying about that while getting my own life in order, and now I feel like I'm ready. Or am I?

 

So, the reason I'm posting here again is because I just talked to the girl this thread has been about for the first time in ages. This time we really hit it off. We were talking about music, and she is into the exact same stuff I am, which is a huge turn on for me. I have friends in a band that she has heard of, and I was literally so ridiculously close to asking her to see them with me, I think she could even tell that's where it was heading, and she seemed to be leading me on. And then we were interrupted by her boss who called her to a meeting... -____-

 

Luckily, I dropped off a hard drive for her and she is going to let me know when she is done with it, so hopefully I'll have another shot today or tomorrow.

 

I was seriously so close, guys. >.

 

It's ridiculous that it's been taking this long, I know, but like I said, I have been dealing with a lot of baggage lately and I finally feel like it's all in the past. 2012 is giving birth to a new me, and I feel like this new me would be a great companion for someone.

 

Anyway, what's the best way for me to ask her to see my friends' band? Should I just ask her if she wants to see them, and when she hopefully says yes, ask her for her number? Let me know!

 

EDIT: This band I'm talking about is made up of some of my best friends. I feel like they are a major factor in my recent "awakening" so to speak. I have been jamming with them as a sort of extra and even helped them write a new song, I got to name it, too! I played keyboard for them and I didn't even realize I could play so well. They have really helped me to open up and meet new people, and realize that I don't have to worry so much about what other people think of me. I have never been so happy with myself, and that's all that matters. I finally accept me for me and realize that if others can't, then they aren't worth my time. I realize this is all sort of off-topic, but I just figured I'd point it out.

 

Also, I'm sure she'd be impressed knowing that I can play in a band that plays exactly the style of music she said she likes. I just have to get a chance to ask her... lol... I'm a ****ing broken record.

[Jake]

Honestly, all you have to do is ask her out! You've built a rapport with this women for at least the past 2 months since you've started this thread. The fact that she's leading the conversation toward you asking her out is probably because she's getting antsy for you to do so!

 

To put it bluntly, she wants you to ask her out and she's giving all the signs with the only exception of asking you out herself!

[youmeus]

yo Belt, how you been?

I think she is really in to you ask her out.. don't delay.

[Belts]

I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dies*

 

*comes back to life*

 

So, here's what happened. I went over to pick up the HDD I left her the other day. Luckily, she was there and no one else was around to make me feel awkward. Right before I left I said, "Hey, I've got a question. Would you want to come see my friend's band play?" And she said yes and asked when! No hesitation. This is when I got kind of sloppy, though. I didn't have a time planned so I told her that I'm not sure yet but they play a lot so I'll let her know. She said that's fine and I asked her how to get ahold of her, but made the mistake of suggesting e-mail. She said that's fine and to just e-mail her for her number, so then I was like, "Oh, I actually have my cell phone right now, so I'll just get it now." She kinda smirked at that point, I think she was on to me... lol but she did give it to me!!! I told her that I'll definitely text her when I've got the details.

 

So, I just texted my friend from the band and he said that their next local show is Feb, 10th.

 

Is that too far from now? Should I try to come up with something else? My birthday is this weekend and I'm going out to a few bars with some friends. I could ask her to go, but I don't know if she drinks...

 

What should I do now? haha... I haven't texted her yet.

 

EDIT: One thing that is bugging me now is that when I feel on edge or nervous, my voice gets really loud. I have a very deep voice as it is and it really carries, but I was practically yelling... >.

[Belts]

Sidenote: I did mention a show they are playing this Saturday which is a while from here. She said a friend of her's wanted to go see a show that day with her, too, but that she couldn't go that day anyway. She didn't say why. She did mention that her friend was a him though by saying "I told him I couldn't go." Should this be something to worry about?

[youmeus]

Sidenote: I did mention a show they are playing this Saturday which is a while from here. She said a friend of her's wanted to go see a show that day with her, too, but that she couldn't go that day anyway. She didn't say why. She did mention that her friend was a him though by saying "I told him I couldn't go." Should this be something to worry about?

 

You never know but I would always say hope for the best and don't overthink anything

 

I knew you can do it.. so I guess don't wait till weekend.. make up something.. is there any good place for lunch near to your work place?? ask her that you are planning to go there if she likes to come with you.. or plan something for evening so that you can hangout with her.. take all her attention to make sure that she will know that you are into her as much she is into you

 

I am sure other members here will have great ideas too

[Belts]

You never know but I would always say hope for the best and don't overthink anything

 

I knew you can do it.. so I guess don't wait till weekend.. make up something.. is there any good place for lunch near to your work place?? ask her that you are planning to go there if she likes to come with you.. or plan something for evening so that you can hangout with her.. take all her attention to make sure that she will know that you are into her as much she is into you

 

I am sure other members here will have great ideas too

 

I was thinking that maybe I could text her after work today. I was just hoping I could take her to a show for our first date, if that's what I should call it.

 

That way I know she'll have a good time, or can hope. I at least know she likes the kind of music I do.

 

Then again, I guess I do owe her lunch... She has given me free food from her office twice now. Maybe I could throw that in there and say something like "I owe you lunch. How does pizza sound?"

 

idk... I'm so rusty with this. I haven't dated or come close to dating in over a year now, almost two.

[Belts]

I didn't text her last night. I couldn't think of a good way to ask her out for the weekend. >.

 

I guess I don't want to make her feel pressured into going out with me and my friends by telling her it's my birthday. I just need help with the wording. Assistance, please! XD

 

I definitely want to text her today so she doesn't start to wonder why I haven't yet.

[imsuperman]

Asking her to do something before then is completely reasonable. If you wait until the tenth, she may end up wondering why you waited. Take the lead! You have a much better chance of succeeding that way.

[Belts]

I just sent her this 15 minutes ago, "Hi ____. It's ____. My friends' band isn't playing until the 10th, but I'm going out with my friends for a few drinks on Sunday for my birthday. Are you free then?"

 

She hasn't responded yet.

 

You could say I'm a wee bit nervous and anxious at the moment.

[Belts]

Going on an hour and a half... Maybe I got her number wrong, or maybe she's just busy...

 

*keeps fingers crossed*

[youmeus]

Going on an hour and a half... Maybe I got her number wrong, or maybe she's just busy...

 

*keeps fingers crossed*

 

You did the right thing... I am keeping finger crossed too

What I have read so far in this post she really seems into you.. So defo you will get a reply soon. Good step buddy..

Keeps us posted..

[Belts]

I'll def keep you posted. Still nothing.

[imsuperman]

Two no responses and it's time to move on.

[Belts]

Two no responses and it's time to move on.

 

So you're saying if I send an e-mail tomorrow and she doesn't respond to move on? Makes sense. She only hasn't responded to my one text, though. I'm hoping that I just got the number wrong or that she forgot her phone or is busy or something... I was kind of nervous when I got her number so maybe I entered it wrong.

 

Well, I'll just not think about it for now.

 

Should I e-mail her tomorrow though, if I don't hear back? I don't want to seem desperate.

[imsuperman]

Tomorrow or the next day, if you want. If she doesn't respond or is wishy-washy, forget about her.

 

Trust me.

[Belts]

Will do. She still hasn't responded, so she either didn't get the text, or she's not interested.

[imsuperman]

The lesson here is likely to move faster next time. Ask her out a lot more quickly. The less you see a woman the faster you have to make your move. She could be wondering why you waited as long as you did.

[Belts]

True, but I only waited a day. That's too long? I mean, she initially said yes to seeing the band and gave me her number. Could it be that I put her on the spot by asking her to come out drinking with my friends and I for my birthday? I've been thinking about it, and I'm not the type who would probably feel comfortable going out with someone and all their friends whom I've never met for a first date. Maybe I should have just left that out?

[imsuperman]

I mean like back when you started this thread.

 

Maybe that didn't help. It's hard to tell. She might wonder why it can't just be the two of you or something.

[Belts]

Yeah, that's a good point. It did take me forever. I just don't see why she would say yes and then not follow through, but I'll try not to dwell on it and do better next time if this doesn't work out.

 

I just know myself and I'm already thinking of ways I could have done this better. >.

[imsuperman]

I recommend this guy's articles. He's not a sleazy "PUA" guy, and his stuff is on point. Here's a relevant one removed[/i]

[Belts]

Thanks, imsuperman. The info in that article definitely makes sense. If that's the case, then I will take this as a lesson. I am fairly certain she was at least interested at some point, so I won't feel like a complete failure.

 

If this doesn't work out, then I'll have to move on. Luckily, thanks to me being more social lately, I do have a few other girls who I am interested in. There are many other fish in the sea.

[imsuperman]

Yeah, DO keep that in mind. I used to make that mistake all the time, and still do now and then. If you don't move fast, she'll go into what he calls "auto-rejection," which is where she goes completely cold to you because you didn't ask her out when she wanted you to. That's also VERY common.

 

If you work with this woman and she doesn't get back to you, be cordial when you see her, but don't stick around for conversation.

[Belts]

Well, I've got some good news, I think.

 

She just sent me this:

 

"Hi ____ I just saw your message! I already have plans to cook some food and watch the Superbowl with my dad on Sunday!! But thanks for the invite and Happy Birthday!!!"

 

I take this as a good sign because she did get back to me and she wasn't weird about it. I don't think she is making excuses because I know she's into sports. However, she didn't mention anything about the show I invited her to next Friday.

 

I have to deliver a laptop to her today, so should I ask about it then? Or should I wait and see if she says anything? Let me know! I think I may still have a shot at this...