for the love of christ, i need serious help :(

[shykind]

yeah. You should message her on facebook. Everyone one needs some form of closure no matter what the situation, and yours really call for it. Say something like "hey, how are you?" Don't say "i forgive you" right away, might seem weird.

[Belts]

Sent... * * * * ... I'm crying right now. Not bawling, but there are actually tears running down my face. I don't even think I've been able to cry in these past two years... Wow...

 

EDIT: This is a good thing. It feels like release. Damn, I guess I really needed this...

 

EDIT2: Thanks, dude. I mean that. I honestly haven't been able to cry since then. Not that I'm one to cry often, but I became so numb after we broke up. This really means something to me. It's like a demon has been ripped out of my body. Who knows how much longer it would have festered there if I didn't happen to have this random conversation with you; a complete stranger. I don't even care if she responds, just the fact that I finally got that off my chest has obviously done something for me.

[shykind]

This is why i told you to do it. So you can get some emotional catharsis, cause i realized that's what was bothering ,and thus hindering, you when you told me about it. Her response doesn't matter here, what matters is you getting some form of closure.

[Belts]

Yeah... Wow... I'm just amazed...

 

I had no idea it was still bothering me that much. Your like a freaking shaman, hahaha. I feel like my entire soul has been purged.

 

Life sure does leave me speechless sometimes...

[shykind]

Lol.. life can be funny sometimes.

[Belts]

I talked to my friend today who's a girl. The one I dated in high school. She is a member of the band I am friends with, and I am going on a trip with them tomorrow because they made it into a huge competition that could get them to London if they win. Anyway, we were figuring out plans for carpooling, so I figured I'd ask her what she thought of my date last night. She said it all sounded good to her, but she agreed that I probably could have kissed her, based on my explanation. She thinks it's a good sign that I'm worried the girl thinks I might not like her, rather than the other way around, but she said it's possible she might lose interest by next week if she ends up going with the thought that I'm not interested.

 

I guess there's not much I can do but wait and see. Another day has passed, and I've had more time to think about it. I am certain now that I like her and wouldn't mind dating her. I keep thinking about the way she was looking at me throughout the night, her pretty smile, and how sweet she is...

 

However, I won't get too hung up on her until I know for sure if it's going to work out or not.

 

Today, I could easily tell that the old me is 100% back. I had so many great interactions with people, and I was very well spoken and enthusiastic. I even had 3 pretty girls smile at me and say hi while walking around campus. Also, I was working on a PC in someone's office and they weren't there. A girl walked in and asked me where the person was. I told her where, and we were definitely flirting with our eyes. She gave me a great big smile and thanked me, and when she walked back by, she actually thanked me again and waved with the same big grin.

 

BTW, my other ex, the one I was in the rough relationship with, responded. She thanked me and said she was feeling the same way about wanting to make amends and get closure, but she wasn't sure that I wanted to hear from her. She said she's found happiness now and asked me how I was. She also sent me a friend request, (she had removed me when we broke up). I replied and told her that it was good to hear from her, and that I am also happy now. I also said I was glad to know that neither of us are holding grudges, and that we can leave the past where it belongs. I accepted her request. I obviously don't plan to keep up with her or comment on her statuses and stuff now, that wasn't the point. I'm just glad that's all out of the way.

[shykind]

I'm very happy to see that things are looking up for you. I can see that you have full confidence now, a new love interest, a pep in your step over came a big mile stone with your ex. This is all good news, and im happy for you.

 

On the topic of the girl lossing interest or thinkin you don't like her, why don't you text or call her tomorrow, maybe friday, less obvious. just to say hi, and you wanted to see how she's doing. Waiting a week might give her the impression you are not interested.

[Belts]

I was just thinking about texting her to see if she got her paper all done without too much stress. I picked up the phone and saw she actually JUST texted me asking how the rest of my week went! The cosmos seems to be aligning for me... hehehe

 

Anyway I think I'm gonna wait and text her back in a bit, because I have to go get groceries. I'd rather wait until I have more time so I can call her and chat for a bit, if it leads to that.

 

I also went out and saw my friends band play at the Hard Rock Cafe last night. I met quite a few girls and was definitely flirty. Had a GREAT time.

 

I got home and realized my favorite band ever's new album just leaked, which I've been waiting for for months.

 

The universe is shining on me lately.

[Belts]

We just texted and talked about our week since our date.

 

I told her about my time at Hard Rock last night and asked her about her paper, which she said was stressful so she's glad it's the weekend.

 

I asked her what her plans were and she's leaving until Sunday night to see her sister at college, and then she asked what I'm doing.

 

I told her I'm going out tomorrow night to have some drinks and jam with the band, and do some work for my grandmother, but I told her I was free other than that.

 

She then asked me if we could make plans to hang out again over next week when she gets back.

 

I told her that'd be awesome.

 

We then wished each other a great weekend.

 

There were a few "awes" and a lot of smilies.

 

I'm not worried about her not liking me now... hehe

[shykind]

That's great news . she most definitely likes you, just keep playing it right and you'll be okay.

 

To see how this post originally started out, and to see that you and, your life, made a complete change is fantastic. I hope that my life could change in such a way; I hope.

 

Good Luck!

[imsuperman]

You're doing so well! I love it!

[Belts]

Thanks, guys.

 

Good luck too to you to shykind!

 

She didn't text me tonight (she said she'd be back from her trip with the family after dinner) but I'm not worrying about it. If I don't hear from her tomorrow then I'll text her after work.

 

The only reason I bring this up is because she asked me if we could make plans for the week when she got back, so I assumed she was going to text me tonight.

 

Other than that, there is only one other thing bothering me... Well, kind of a lot of things in one. She seems mature enough so her age doesn't bother me, I like her personality, and I find her attractive, but I'm just afraid our lifestyles our too different. I shouldn't make early assumptions, I guess, but she's going to a really good 4 year school, in a few clubs (chief of one), etc. She has a pretty active life. I only went to a community college (I already noticed she has better vocab than me... lol >.

[Belts]

I just got home from work. She didn't text me today, so I was planning on texting her tonight to ask how her weekend was, but I left my cell at work (30 minutes away)... I was just about to send her a message on fb, but I decided to wait. Maybe I'll say 'hi' if I see her online at some point, but if not then I'll just try to get a hold of her tomorrow. Maybe she'll have left me messages.

 

I guess my last post was a little bit of a negative representation of myself. It sucks that I still live at home, but I did buy a new car and plan to move out once that is paid off in a year or so. I also shared an apartment with some friends in my second year of college. And even though I don't have nearly as many "extracurricular" activities as the average college student where I work, I still help out my friends' band, try to play drums and bass, and do artwork.

 

I just get paranoid when it comes to having an interest in a college student, because their lifestyle is so different and hectic compared to mine.

[Belts]

She just texted me and apologized because she's been really busy again. I guess she got bombarded with homework and projects this week. She said she might have a little time on Thursday, but her weekend should be free. I said that's fine and not to worry because weekends are best for me, too. She said she'll definitely keep me posted.

[Belts]

Well, I haven't heard from her at all... I must be cursed.

[shykind]

Well, I haven't heard from her at all... I must be cursed.

 

Calm down.. you are not cursed. Its midterm season so she probably busy, or she is being a B****, ethier way just leave her. I told you from the beginning that if this goes south, it should be treated as a learning experience. Just continue with your life, continue to talk to other girls. and if she calls, she calls. If she doesn't, life goes on. DO NOT!! contact her.

[Belts]

Calm down.. you are not cursed. Its midterm season so she probably busy, or she is being a B****, ethier way just leave her. I told you from the beginning that if this goes south, it should be treated as a learning experience. Just continue with your life, continue to talk to other girls. and if she calls, she calls. If she doesn't, life goes on.

 

I know, I know. I'm not all worked up or anything. And I have been and will continue to talk to other girls.

 

Like you said, chances are she's really busy. She just seemed so nice, so I can't imagine her just not contacting me again, but then again, I don't really know her. Either way, I won't let it get me down. As long as I keep my confidence, I know I'll eventually find someone I click with. I've still been noticing a lot more flirtatious looks and big smiles lately since my whole confidence boost.

 

It's just annoying, that's all. I hate playing games. I wish I could just flat out say, "Hey, I like you."

[Belts]

Either way, I'm fine. I still have my own issues that I need to work out, anyway. I am horrible at saving money. If I worked on that and put money towards getting an apartment, at least I could tell people I'm working on moving out of my parents house. I don't think I can have full confidence until my kinks are worked out, so that's my current plan. I'm going to focus on myself.

[Belts]

I just saw she was posting stuff on FB and her name was in my chat box so I figured I'd say 'hi'. She didn't respond and signed off after a couple seconds... Oh well. I just wish I knew what went wrong this time. Something must have changed her mind that weekend she was away, because before she left she seemed so into me. I'm kinda offended, but I won't dwell on it. It's about me now.

 

I am going to the doctor this week to have blood work done and try to figure out once and for all what causes all my anxiety and cold sweat. I've had these issues since high school and I'm getting to the point where I just no longer want to live life feeling the way I do, day after day. I'm not saying I'd hurt myself, but some days I just wish I would never wake up...

 

Obviously something is not right, and I won't leave the office until I have some sort of a solid answer. I'm just so sick of worrying about every little detail of my life, to the point where I can't even do anything...

[shykind]

Holy crap!, that came straight out of left field. When you said she didn't hear from her i kinda saw it coming, thus i told you not to contact her(maybe you didn't see the edit) but still, that was kinda unexpected.

 

If this teaches you anything, it's that women are confusing and they do confusing crap. that is why there are books written on the topic of how to figure them out. lol They will play with your mind if you allow them, I should of told you to play games with her head just to even the playing field But anyways. Do not let this get to you. Move on. Do not ask yourself "what went wrong?" there could be a numerous amount of things that caused such a change. If I had to guess, I would say she found another love interest (it happens). Now move on.

 

On the topic of you working on your own problems, I think that a great idea. Work on yourself first, be happy with your own life before you try to bring a significant other into it. Your girlfriend should be there to complement your life, not give it purpose. (note: I said complement, Not compliment.) Focus on bringing your life and yourself to "perfection" and i guarantee girls will come to you. I'm not telling you to give up on dating, I'm telling you to put more focus on yourself, than on finding a woman.

 

Lastly, I felt I should of told you this before cause I've seen you heading there. One date is never enough to know whether you want to go steady with somebody, this ain't The Notebook. Try not to get hooked, sorth to speak, on one girl. Always keep your options open, by that I mean continue to go on dates with other girls; ask other girls her out until you and the prospective girlfriend have a some kind of serious talk. That alone will have a profound effect on how you view life in regards to dating.