Help! What's going on with me?

[Keyman]

When I moved into my current rental house, I moved in with a single attractive woman. We got on so very well right from the beginning, I began pursuing something more with her. After two months we decided to get involved.

 

The relationship has blossomed nicely, we seem very compatable and a good match for each other. We spend a lot of time together and enjoyed that time. In such a short time I have grown to know more about her than I have with any of my previous partners and I feel the same in return. It just seems like we are meant to be.

 

Then last week things started to slow down. It's like we were coming out of the honeymoon phase and moving into normal life. But I'm not ready to let go yet, I still want the excitement and the madness, but life seems to be getting in the way. She now has study that is taking up a lot more of her time, she's doing stuff for other people that is filling up the time that we have been spending together and the like. She always was an independent person, and that was something I really found attractive about her.

 

One day a week -this morning - she gets up early for a workout, but she'll usually ignore the alarm and stay in bed with me to cuddle until she has to get ready. This morning, she shot out of bed to turn off the alarm, then decided to get dressed and have breakfast. Her intention was to come back to bed with me until she got picked up. And that should have been fine (it sounds perfectly fine as I type it) but I got upset that she hadn't stayed in bed or hadn't told me she was coming back. Why the hell did I do that? Why the hell can't I just be relaxed about it and feel secure about it? Why am I feeling so insecure???? I'm acting like an idiot. It's going to push her away and I am going to lose her.

 

The part that I'm not understanding, is why I am reacting to this change. I have become ... needy. I am feeling like I'm losing something, that I'm not ready to let go of the honeymoon phase, or accept that we both have lives and she has other commitments beyond building this relationship. I'm actually getting more frustrated at myself for reacting this way, than at the cause of it. I've tried to figure out why I am doing this... the sense of loss, am losing control of the situation, am just not good at adapting to her need to change back to the independent person again after a period of full on closeness. But I keep getting triggered off and end up feeling miserable.

 

Help. My reations are going to lose me this woman. I want to be with her but am I sabotaging this? What's going on??? Be brutal.

[Kitkat973]

I think the amount that you are worrying about it is as much an issue has having the problem in the first place. You know that it wasn't reasonable- what's important is being able to let go of those impulses and focusing on your ACTIONS being healthy.

[Stay_home]

As always in every relationship, there's the honeymoon phase where everything is so darn special, perfect and on cloud nine. I think on that particular day of the week, reality set in. And because you both are living together already (which really was a roommate thing and you both just happened to hit it off) you're worlds are coming together a little bit faster. You see each other every day and now that you're living together I would think that the majority of your time is spent around each other.