what constitutes as cheating?

[quazit]

listen i know this should be a personal dicision between you and your partner but for you personaly what constitutes as cheating?

[shes2smart]

For me, it cheating has to have elements of doing something you know would be hurtful to your partner behind their back and then covering it up (or trying to cover it up) with outright lies and/or partial truths.

 

Under this definition, intimate/cybersex/sexual online chat ~ if it is going on without one's partner's knowledge, consent and approval ~ is cheating just as much as having real life sex with another person without the partner's knowledge, consent & approval is cheating.

 

It's all about honest communication. If you are doing something of a sexual or emotionally intimate nature with another person and your partner KNOWS, CONSENTS and APPROVES of your actions, it's not cheating, no matter what anyone outside the situation wants to call it. Nothing's being hidden and no lies are being used to keep things under cover.

 

If your partner knows what you are up to, but did not give their consent or approval to your actions, then you're not only cheating, you're being intentionally hurtful and selfish. If you treat people that badly and dishonestly, don't be surprised if you get the same treatment in return. The Universe has a way of equaling things out in the long run.

 

If your partner doesn't know what you're up to, then there is NO WAY they can give consent or approval. The lies have already started and they will just continue.

 

The guideline I use for my own behavior is this: If I couldn't do it or say it in front of my husband, then it crosses the line, and I don't do it at all.

 

My 2 cents,

~s2s

[James_533]

I agree with shes2smart in the area of cheating. I personaly remember a bible quote read in church. If a man looks longly at a women so as to have a passion for her has already commited adultry. So really it is up to you what cositutes as cheating.

[quazit]

15 and i guess i didnt explain i was just wondering this im not trying to get advice on what to do or not to do its just something that everyone has different opinions on so i was just wondering

[shes2smart]

15 and i guess i didnt explain i was just wondering this im not trying to get advice on what to do or not to do its just something that everyone has different opinions on so i was just wondering

 

Oops, sorry, poor writing on my part. When I was using "you" in my post, I didn't mean "you" personally. It just gets a bit cumbersome using "that person" and "that person's partner" so I got a little lazy and I can see where that could be misinterpreted.

[quazit]

o bad writing on my part too i was talking too james_533 who seemed like they wanted me too take a hint of some kind. i did recently cheat on somoene so i guess it just kind fo started me thinking about all of this... because well i suppose my thoughts on cheating are a bit odd because well i have alot of friends who are girls and i just like cuddle with em all and well last night it turned into cheating the first time its ever gone further than cuddling like that and well its the first time i ever cheated on anyone and im never going to do it again

[sweetpea4670]

I think cheating is doing something with another person that wouldn't want your partner to know about. In my relationship, 'cuddling' with another person would be seen as being unfaithful. For me, it's more of the thought than the action I guess; I mean, it would really bother me to know that my partner is thinking of another girl in a loving way. Sometimes a physical action isn't based on our rational thinking, but a rational thought of loving another person is truly hurtful. Does that make sense?

[quazit]

definitly it makes alot of sense. when i cuddle with one of my friends its just like a way to be closer without overstepping the line into a relationship. me and my gf agreed that kissing for games like truth or dare wasnt cheating but thi stime since i was atteracted to the girl it turned into more... i never thought i would be attracted to anyone besides my gf that i have but it jsut happened and i feel and felt like crap i spent an entire night with that other girl and in the morning i think both of us were feeling regret. im seeing the girl i cheated with again on tuesday and were going to try and figure things out then and well after i tell my girlfriend what i did im pretty sure ill never be seeing or talking to her again... but cheating to me is a kiss or anything more with a loving or even lustfull intent behind it so thats why games dont count. i just realized a very fatal flaw in that idea last night however.

[quazit]

i wasnt just doing this to discuss my situation this was for everyone to express thier ideas of what it was so if oyu have an opinion on what is cheating please express it

[Serendipity1607307077]

I find cheating hard to define in my case...

 

Though I believe that it is when your partner touches another woman sexually, kisses her or otherwise... I also feel sometimes that him "Checking out" other women is cheating... but that could be my jealous streak running rampage again..

[quazit]

no checking out can sometimes be cheating especially if its someone he could possibly get with. and sexual kissing and touching is a good way to describe it. alot better than trying to set it upon a whole lot of circumstances

[mamamaria]

i think cheating is doing anything with another person that you wouldnt tell your girlfriend, or wouldnt want her to know about...sometimes even jsut cuddling...it depends on the relationship...its anything you know you could never tell your girlfriend\boyfriend

-marie

[sweetpea4670]

Since every relationship obviously has unique boundaries on what constitutes as cheating, it really stems from the fact that each person has a different level of comfort with what their partners do. For me, being a jealous person as well, while I don't restrict my boyfriend from talking to other girls, he understand that too much contact will hurt our relationship. At the same time, he knows that sometimes looking at other girls will make me jealous, but that's not really a problem, because he's not a huge flirt or anything. Like I said, just the thought that he's thinking of another girl in that way bothers me, so while some couples are okay with looking at other people, neither me nor my boyfriend are too comfortable with it.

[quazit]

yea i flirt with everyone i even kind of flirt with guys iv never been able to help it and well yea it all depends on comfort level if i had a girlfriend who was uncomfortable with me tlaking to girls to much then it would be a problem because i talk and hang with girls more often than not. i jsut get along with em better while this leads alot of guys to think im gay i really dont care... i am comfortable tellin gmy gf when i like cuddle with people and stuff cause they know that usually its just how i express my friendship sometimes and its diff when im cuddling with her

[James_533]

I wasn't saying you in general just adding another outlook on cheating.

[quazit]

o ok sorry taking thing kinda personally right now i guess....

[mahlina]

To me, cheating is something that a person does behind their partner's back, when they wouldn't do it in front of their face. If they know and are well aware of the fact that their partner might not like what he/she is doing in front of their face, but goes ahead and does it anyway behind their back, then that's cheating, because they consciously made the effort to do it.