stevo1565 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Hi Everyone So Although i was not with my ex for a huge amount of time i was really attached to her and still love her with all my heart. Today I get on a plane and fly halfway accross the world to the USA in the back of my mind i half expected a text from her wishing me luck i went strickt NC when we split as i got the impression she just wanted me out of her life. I was never horrible to her i treated her like a princess the whole time and would of done anything for her she basically slept with me then split up with me. It's been a rough ride but for those reading this is does get a little better granted i still think about her 80% of the time i cant stop this. I am going over to the US to get my private pilots licence somthing i wanted to do my whole life the only saving grace is i never cancled it all after we split i was so close but focussed and although going with next to nothing to my name will achieve me dream. I know i will find it hard being alone for the next month and ive now come to the reality that its over and wish her all the luck in the world. Just Had to Vent this as feeling a bit emotional about getting on the plane for me when the doors close its closure !! Link to comment
annieperson Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 How long were you two together? Link to comment
stevo1565 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 We were together for about 3 months but was quite intense from the start more than likely why it went the way it did she gave me keys to her place after like 3 days everything was great then boom she wanted space i respected that and gave it to her then she kept reassuring me that we would not split up then i went to go and see her we spoke everything was fine we slept together and when i woke up she said she was not happy. I just cant get it off my mind and hoping that once im away it will all clear up Link to comment
annieperson Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Ya it sounds like you need some distance. Sometimes when things are so intense in the beginning reality can be blurred. Love is a marathon not a sprint. Now that is not to say that your feelings were not genuine because you seem to be in pain but here is hoping some space apart will allow to focus on the most important person in your life....you! Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Glad you are feeling better Steve and good luck with your pilots licence. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Stevo - I am here as a result of a similar circumstance. I am 1.5 yrs out from a relationship that was less then 6 mos and was very intense and great where nothing went wrong that I could logically tie to the break up. Learning from my own experience and hearing the plights of others in the same boat as you and I, I have come to a conclusion that it appears fairly common that those of us dumped in a short time frame with no obvious problems tend to suffer greatly. My theory on this is that we were dumped for a reason unbeknownst to us that comes from them (e.g. fear, etc) when the newness or shininess of the relationship had not yet dulled for us. In other words, we are still caught up in the romance and high that accompanies entering a new relationship with someone that we really click with. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, they jumped ship and something unrelated to us caused that to happen. However the relationship we are in is the victim of their feelings, emotions and/or behavior and as a result, we are let go when it was still feeling soooo good. We are left confused and have the tendency to focus inwards on ourselves (most do this after any breakup regardless of length) and try and identify where we went wrong - or worse invent reasons where we did. The rejection is horribly painful. It is like being really excited about something that you have waited for so long to happen and then while you are enjoying it, you are completely removed without choice. Stopped cold. If you are getting the silent treatment on top of this, it appears to add insult to injury. However, being as far out as I am now, I will tell you it is the BEST thing that they can do to you. Yes, to you not for you. If they are staying in touch or sending nice messages like "good luck" it keeps you stuck and you misread the intent behind the communication or message. If they stay away and refuse to even acknowledge your existence, while in the beginning it is excruciating, it allows you to move forward faster. If they answer or respond, it just enables you to initiate with motives of reconciliation behind it (even if not overt). If they don't respond, pretty soon you stop trying because it feels worse after you do and they don't acknowledge and there is only so much pain you can cause to yourself before you just give up. This may not be what you want to hear. In the beginning it is pure torture. I wanted to share with you what I learned and how I see things now if it might help you in some small way. If not now, maybe in the near future. I wish you the best. GOOD LUCK with your travels and pilots license. That should help keep you busy and your mind off of things at least more than 20% of the time. Link to comment
stevo1565 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks guys i know today will be hard but i have to face the fact she's gone Link to comment
peteperch Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 learning2relax - great post and so right on the button............ Link to comment
Iakasot Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 You're right, she never cared, you were just a temporary tingly feeling to her, and she's a serial monogamist. If you confront her on this, she'll deny this with foam at her mouth, and rant about how real her feelings were, but we both know that what she says and what actually IS are two very different things. Actions speak louder than words. There's no point in confronting her on something like this because obviously she won't admit to it. She probably can't even admit it to HERSELF, you know? Link to comment
stevo1565 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks again guys i understand she turned out to be quite a selfish person really maybe one day I'll meet a decent woman who can appreciate somone. Just sitting I'n the airport now i think I've put it all off until today hoping for at least an appology from her. For the next 4 weeks I'm going to turn my phone off and focus on me. At least when i come back I'll have a big fingers up that will say you can knock me down but i still achieved my dream the glory of having to go back into her work the first day i return with my head held high and saying oh yea well i still went to the us and still got my licence Link to comment
peteperch Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 good luck Steve - think you may have reached this feeling today because you're travelling - funny how that can effects things - I felt the same year last Feb when travelling on business to US month after break up - you'll be fine when you get there and can focus on why you're there - don't drink too much on the plane though !! ( didn't help ....... ) Link to comment
stevo1565 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thank you everyone for your reply hopefully I'll feel better these coming weeks. I don't think i coil of got through this without this site today very emotional tha is again Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Good luck stevo - and well done for keeping focussed on this. Can't have been easy but you'll be all the better for it. What an accomplishment Link to comment
stevo1565 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks guys on the plane now 7 hrs to JFK then Orlando already feel better Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Part of the feeling is that you are moving on with YOUR life --- keep doing it and good luck. Link to comment
wicked6018 Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 at least you were only with her for 3 months. imagine how much pain you'd be in right now if it had been 3 years. Link to comment
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