She's Lost that Loving Feeling

[Blooze]

My wife and I have been for 7 years and we have a 6 yr old son.

We've had our ups and downs, but over the last three yrs. there's been

more downs than ups. We have had discussions in this time about problems realated to the house, finances, and family time, and band-aid solutions were put in place. Last month things came to a head, and we discussed separation. We are together under the same roof, basic improvements have been made, and we are both talking to councillors, separately. She see's a black void when she looks to the future, and doesn't not know whether just can regain the emotional part of our relationship. Do I move out and give her space? Do I stay at home and be invisible, until she needs me? Do I stay at home and beg for affection?

(all of the above include offering support and respect)

Any advice would help...

[sisterlynch]

You have got to be able to talk to her. Offer to go with her to counciling sessions, take out the trash, pay special attention to her. Don't appear to be clingy. She may have another man on the side. Try to speak positively to her. Don't ever appear angry or frustrated to her. If you feel this way control your emotions or just leave the room. Eat healthy and get lots of exercise. If you need to start seeing other women, tell her first. She may reconsider if she sees you are moving forward. If she cannot see the future with you ask her for specifics in what she needs to get over her emotional distance. Both of you will need to change if you are going to stay together. Let her know that you are willing to make the changes she needs to be happy. If she really wants to leave, don't stop her. Let her know that she is hurting you and your future by her distance. Talk about how she was so attractive to you when you were first together. Keep in mind that this happens to everyone at times.

[Hurting in Manitoba]

I am in the same boat as your wife. I am involved in a common-law relationship with the father of my 2 youngest children. We've been together off and on for atleast 6 years. I do love the guy but I'm not in love anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be able to regain the love. There's no respect, trust, understanding or any of the good makings for a "healthy relationship." He insists on staying with us and I hate him for being stubborn and wanting to stay in this relationship when all I want to do is throw in the towel.