<removed> I need advice..

[Saffron_]

That's why you shouldn't use condoms alone. Combine condoms with a hormonal birth control - there are many different kinds out there. Condoms break, slip, get past their expiration date, are applied incorrectly.

 

Or be taught how to use condoms/contraception correctly. My partner and I have been using condoms for almost 10 years now and in all that time I've never had a pregnancy scare. Never had one break or slip etc. However, my partner stores them and uses them in the proper way every time so the chance of failure should remain low. Also, everyone I know who's gotten pregnant whilst using condoms, when pushed on the subject, has admitted to not using one every single time. Same goes for the pill as it happens. However, because people lie, it puts the estimated failure rate much higher than it probably should be.

[Saffron_]

It's actually not that debatable as couples have gotten pregnant using the withdraw methods for years now.

 

What is debatable is how honest people are when talking about how birth control failed them OG. Just because someone says they used the withdrawal method perfectly every time doesn't mean they did. If you've ever met anyone who got pregnant from having sex when the man didn't ejaculate, well I'd like to hear about them because they're a bloomin miracle! More often than not when you hear these 'miracle' stories though, the truth is that the guy did come and just didn't pull out in time but the couple just wont admit that.

[tiredofvampires]

Or be taught how to use condoms/contraception correctly. My partner and I have been using condoms for almost 10 years now and in all that time I've never had a pregnancy scare. Never had one break or slip etc. However, my partner stores them and uses them in the proper way every time so the chance of failure should remain low. Also, everyone I know who's gotten pregnant whilst using condoms, when pushed on the subject, has admitted to not using one every single time. Same goes for the pill as it happens. However, because people lie, it puts the estimated failure rate much higher than it probably should be.

 

This is true.

 

Normally, a condom is extremely durable, and if it's put on correctly, it should not end up bunched up inside the vagina, like what happened to the OP. You have to roll the condom ALL the way down to the base of the penis (pinch the tip when putting it on, to leave a bit of room for semen, if the brand has no extra tip for that). But, even condoms that have not expired and have been stored properly can be defective. Fingernails have been known to snag them (and never open a package of condoms with your teeth.) The data shows that if a couple is using the condom ONLY for birth control, "perfect use" (meaning, never making a mistake) will result in a 2% pregnancy rate. "Average use" of condoms (which means sometimes using them incorrectly or not using them) results in an 18% failure rate. What these statistics translate into is that every year 2 women out of 100 using condoms PERFECTLY will get pregnant. And if you're not doing it right every time, 18 women in 100 each year will get pregnant.

 

So even if you use the condom absolutely perfectly each time, there is still a failure rate that exceeds hormonal birth control. Of course, everything in life is a risk. But while 2% is very low, if you're that one who gets unlucky, you have "uber Christian" parents, you're 18 and just starting out in life, going to college instead of wanting to become a mother, or being pregnant would be a disaster, that is not a chance worth taking if you don't have to. So if you can take hormonal birth control as an extra insurance to take that risk off the table, it should be done.

 

And certainly, any unprotected intercourse should be well off the table. Should it occur, you should assume you could become pregnant from it. If you are at a time in your cycle when everything in nature wants that to happen, even more so.

 

The fluid that is pre-cum itself -- as it's manufactured in the Cowper's gland near the prostate -- does not have sperm in it. But no system is perfect, and so sperm can leak out before the ejaculation itself, and also sperm can be left over in the urethra from ejaculating before.

 

So, while the amounts of sperm that are in pre-cum are scant, all it takes is one spermatazoa to get pregnant. Behavior should reflect that.

 

Here is an article about sperm in pre-cum:

 

link removed

[OptomisticGirl]

What is debatable is how honest people are when talking about how birth control failed them OG. Just because someone says they used the withdrawal method perfectly every time doesn't mean they did. If you've ever met anyone who got pregnant from having sex when the man didn't ejaculate, well I'd like to hear about them because they're a bloomin miracle! More often than not when you hear these 'miracle' stories though, the truth is that the guy did come and just didn't pull out in time but the couple just wont admit that.

 

The point I was trying to make is the withdraw method doesn't work because pre cum doesn't just come out right before they cum - so whether they lied about when he ejaculated or if they did pull out, the fact remains pre cum contains sperm. Even withdrawing doesn't stop pregnancy. I myself have never came accross a couple that felt the need to lie about how they accidentlly got pregnant, not sure the people you have encountered but for me, if you are already knocked up and you didn't want to be, that's the embarrasment. Most of the time the conversation goes,

 

"But I was on birth control!"

"Were you taking it the same time every night?"

"yes!"

"did you have unprotected sex right after you took antibiotics?"

"Well yes but I was covered by the bc"

 

Failed contraceptives don't get people pregnant - idiocy in sex education does.

[dramallama]

Or be taught how to use condoms/contraception correctly. My partner and I have been using condoms for almost 10 years now and in all that time I've never had a pregnancy scare. Never had one break or slip etc. However, my partner stores them and uses them in the proper way every time so the chance of failure should remain low. Also, everyone I know who's gotten pregnant whilst using condoms, when pushed on the subject, has admitted to not using one every single time. Same goes for the pill as it happens. However, because people lie, it puts the estimated failure rate much higher than it probably should be.

Ok, that's fine for you. But many people have accidents or the condom breaks or slips so that's why it's better to have a back up. I'm not sure why you're so against people practice extra safe sex.

[KatyC]

I just needed help...I didn't mean to cause so much drama...

[Saffron_]

I just needed help...I didn't mean to cause so much drama...

 

You're not causing any drama

 

Some people just blow things out of proportion. But frankly I'm not that bothered, because a) many people don't read the posts properly, b) if they do read it properly they completely miss the point being made and c) they say things like "the fact is" when in fact it's not a fact at all. That is a shame but hey, what ya gonna do? I'm glad you're ok and I hope you can find some information out there with regards to contraception and what suits you best. Maybe a family planning clinic or what not.

[Saffron_]

OG, I'm not sure what you're on about "Failed contraceptives don't get people pregnant - idiocy in sex education does" because for one I already made the point that not using contraception correctly causes pregnancy! Uh, that was my whole point. And secondly, failed contraceptives do get people pregnant depending on what form you choose to use. Some fail more than others, obviously! Also, the OP wasn't using the withdrawal method. They had used a condom which presumably came off inside her when her bf withdrew, therefore her risk of pregnancy would have been from pre-cum (which many studies have shown does not contain sperm though that is debatable) inside a condom. Now I'm not going to labor my point any longer. I don't mean to offend you OG because I completely agree in safe sex. I simply feel that telling someone to take two forms of birth control might not work if they can't even use the first one correctly. If someone doesn't use a condom properly and doesn't take the pill as it's meant to be taken, well they're not gonna be as safe as if they chose one and used it right. If someone wants to double up on protection, that's fine, but they shouldn't be scared into thinking they have to. Especially since hormonal birth control can have side effects. But it all comes down to personal choice.

[OptomisticGirl]

People who are not sexually educated - just look at the pregnancy forum! - don't know the facts about their own body OR how to use their contraceptives. So 8 out of 10 times it's not the fact the contraceptive failed that got them pregnant, it's the fact they didn't know how to use it or other factors. I never preach two forms of birth control (I only use pills) but for someone who is freaking out about getting pregnant, yes, I tend ti advise they use something other thn a condom for peace of mind, as long as they take it properly.

[Saffron_]

So 8 out of 10 times it's not the fact the contraceptive failed that got them pregnant, it's the fact they didn't know how to use it or other factors.

 

Well I completely agree with you on that!