Online dating emails to SMS texting, what to do next???...

[TiredOfGames]

I've started to get back into the dating pool since fully recovering from my last relationship. I've been meeting people and making new friends through meet-up groups, socializing with other friends more, and generally just putting myself out there. I've met a few women and went on one date last week. I'm not in a rush and when I meet the right person I'll know it for sure, regardless of any time-frame. I decided to try online dating as an additional way to meet someone. I'm a little skeptical of this route and I'm not getting too serious about this option, but it is another option nonetheless. My question relates to someone I met through an online dating site.

 

I've met two women online thus far but no dates offline with either just yet. One has actually maintained email communication with me as a friend - she belongs to a meet-up group that I also joined a while back and she's not into dating members of her meet-up groups, which I understand and I'm perfectly okay with. I know based on our email exchanges that we will be good friends when we do finally bump into one another at one of the meet-ups and it's cool to have an expanding circle of interesting and diverse friends.

 

The other woman has definitely sparked my interest based on what I know about her and our limited email exchanges so far. In her second or third email through the dating site she said she'd like to meet sometime soon and asked for my phone number, so I included my mobile number in my reply. I should also mention that I know this is a real person at this point and not one of those fake profiles which I have come accross and which disappear pretty quickly (aside form the fact that their profiles begin to give them away after a while too).

 

Following that last email I didn't hear from her so after the sixth or seventh day I emailed her again just to ask how she was and if she was still interested. Late that same evening she sent me a text message saying that she had been busy and apologized for not replying sooner. She mentioned having a lot coming up that weekend and the next (this coming weekend), and that she has her daughter Monday through Thursday, but maybe we could meet in 2 weeks. This text was from last Thursday. Also I already knew of her daughter through her online profile and a little more via our emails. I replied with another text that same night (maybe twenty minutes later) and said that I understood etc., that it was great to hear from her, and that I'd still love to meet in a couple of weeks. I also mentioned continuing our existing communication between now and then if she was comfortable with that.

 

Since my last text to her I've not heard anything back. I'm not concerned as she said she was and would be busy, and what 'busy' is does not concern me either beyond her having her daughter from Monday to Thursday each week. Still, I am interested in this person and going more than a week, and certainly two, before any further communication and a possible first offline date would seem odd. With her text message I now have her phone number, and I'm certainly confident enough to call rather than text again if that would be the better, more personal approach. I'm also not so desperate that I would hound her daily with calls or text messages, and I'm certainly okay with going a few days in-between.

 

I'm not sure about calling at this stage knowing that she has her daughter Monday to Thursday, but I am thinking about perhaps mentioning calling her in a text message (and maybe finding a convenient time when this would be okay). What do you all think? And do you think I should even send another text message at all just yet, or wait another day or two? I don't mind doing a little chasing even though she hasn't responded to me last SMS, but I would likely not text again (or call) if I don't hear from her again next time. I do want to contact her again as I am interested and I want to show that. After all I have nothing to lose here either so why pass up the opportunity??? She may be busy, but I doubt she's too busy for a quick reply or perhaps even a phone call. Besides, what would she be thinking if I didn't contact her again for several weeks?

 

I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. A quick text message to see how she is perhaps? Go bold and call late one evening, or ask in my text message first (given her schedule with her daughter)?

 

Thanks for reading btw! As usual the first detailed post became somewhat lengthy!

[TiredOfGames]

Just bumping in the hopes someone might be able to provide some thoughts or opinions on further communication. Apologies for the length of the OP btw!

[danielle1973]

If she's so busy that she can't find time to call or text you now, how is she going to find the time to actually date you?

 

I would move on.

[Ms Darcy]

It doesn't hurt to send her a message at the end of the week with a "hey, one last nudge." or something similar.

 

Let her know you are ready to move on if you don't hear from her.

[arrakis77]

Welcome to online dating... ](*,)

 

Realize that many are juggling (communicating with and seeing) multiple prospects at once while others may already be in relationships and not at all serious. Since she suggested a meetup I would try a lock-in a specific date, but when they drop off and are non-committal then you just need to continue on your way.

 

The ball is in her court since she has yet to respond to your last message. You can give it one more try and I would focus 100% on a face-to-face meet ASAP. If that doesn't happen then that's that.

 

Remember that meeting new people online is only a supplement, not replacement.

[TiredOfGames]

I think it's more than likely that she is communicating with and/or dating others that she is meeting online. I was and still am skeptical about online dating, and it really is just supplemental rather than a replacement for me. I've been out meeting lots of people through meet-up groups and even my local coffee shop, as well as reconnecting with old friends. Meeting people in person is far easier and gratifying than this online thing, and where compatibility isn't found I am at the least making new friends too. So I'm not too fussed. Just figuring things out again as I begin to get my toes wet in the dating pool.

 

Thanks for your suggestions about sending one last message. I think I will do this in a day or two to nail down a date for the following week/weekend, and leave it at that if I don't hear anything back or receive something noncommittal.

 

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

[TiredOfGames]

A quick update... I waited for a few more days then sent a quick text to probe for a specific date. We are meeting for lunch this coming Sunday. We've exchanged a few brief text messages since and I'm going to be calling her tonight (this will be our first phone call).

 

What's funny now however is that my new-found single life keeps me busy every night of the week and I'm enjoying myself immensely with new activities and friends. That does still leave the weekends where I don't have a strict schedule (just depends on my meet-up groups and friends' schedules right now), but I know that won't be enough for anyone looking for something serious (including myself). Then again the person in my above posts is busy with her daughter Monday to Thursday each week, so it could just be a good match.

 

Edit: I wanted to add something I found interesting with online dating, at least with this person. For my part I'm really not using it that much and outside of this pending date on Sunday I've pretty much given up on bothering with online dating sites. I'm meeting many new people in the real world and I'm enjoying myself immensely along the way. But I digress... what I've noticed recently is that while she has most likely been going on the odd date here and there these past few weeks, her dating profile will go offline and then return a day or two later with minor updates. The updates just include minor details signifying things I think she's finding with non-matching dates (details to clarify certain statements about herself and a partner in her profile text). I suppose for her she has somewhat limited avenues (outside of online dating) to meet new people given her single mom status for a majority of her week. Anyway, I just thought this was interesting for anyone else dabbling in the online dating world.