Thought this to death, need others opinions.

[Prevail]

Well here goes,

my girl and i had been together almost 5 yrs. things began to get pretty stale between us. when i graduated college she asked me to move to this town to be with her till she graduated. i spent a few months looking for a decent job in my fienld but found nothing. i settled for a decent paying job in a field quite unrelated to my major. I had been quite depressed, i blamed her for the situation i was in "not vocally, but emotionally". its my fault things fell apart. i let them, i was unhappy, but christ i love the hell outta this woman. neways. we broke up, i was fine with it, then 3 days later i realized we were so good together, we never fought, had so many common interests, and i just love the hell out of her. so i told her i wanted her back, she said "i cant, im afraid things would just end up like this again and maybe this is just the way you are" so for a month after that i did EVERYTHING i could to prove to her how much i love her and that i wanted to make things work. so my Bday rolled around a few weeks after and she called to say she wanted to see me, we hung out, had a great time, got teary-eyed and kissed. this just strung me out more. so i proceded to call her and tell her how much i needed her back. she pretty much shut me down.... Heres where things get weird. im miserable in this state i hate it here and there is nothing for me here but her, BUT she is home on vacation and has been since we broke up, she is coming back in 2 weeks and wants to see what happens when she gets back according to her. my lease here expires at the end of this month and i needed to make up my mind. stay here sign another lease and see what happens with this girl or move back to where i want to be and get on with my life.... but i want my life to move on with her, and honestly i think she wants to do the same, she called the other day and asked me to go on a trip we were planning be4 we broke up. so im torn to pieces, i dont want to be strung along anymore, i want to be happy, but i dont want to make the biggest mistake of my life by moving away and never seeing her again. so as of today i put a downpayment on a condo here (for rent) and told them i will sign the lease.,... i only have a few days left to truly make up my mind. If i decide to leave i will lose my security deposit (no big deal to me really) and i have a place i could stay in the area i want to live. should i stick around? is this girl toying with me? she says she wants to see how things go when we can see each other whenever we want. im so damn confused right now. man i love this girl but i dont know if this is a chance worth taking or if i will be kicking myself in the azz everyday after this for stayign here. sorry this was so long but please any input u got would be great.

[goodquestion]

hey bro,

 

The decision to move is up to you, but _IF_ you decide to give it another chance, you need to change your behaviour:

 

1. STOP blaming her for anything

2. STOP professing your love to her

3. DON'T get teary eyed around her

4. DON'T ask/beg to get back together

 

Why?

 

1. Women hate begging

2. Professing mushy/lovey feelings is a feminine trait

3. Getting teary eyes is a feminine trait

4. You made the decision to move initially, so it's not her fault, because deep down you admit you resent her, even a little.

 

What you need to do:

 

1. Make a decision

2. Act confident, strong, and self controlled

3. Hang out with her without bringing up the relationship

4. OBSERVE her actions, and LET HER make the moves

5. WATCH for head games

 

Good luck.

 

l8r

[lisaria]

Wow, goodquestion pretty much said it all. I just wanted to add that I would be wary of signing a long term lease for where you are, not until you know exactly what you want to do. Having relationship troubles is not really a good time for big decisions like that. Is there any way you could stay where you are for a few months more?

lisaria

[Prevail]

no, college students are all comin back now so my landlord wants to find a tenant while the markets hot. hes showin this place tonight. too late anyways, i went and signed a 6month lease on tht place the other day. I'm just gonna stick it out here for a little while longer. I dont want to push anything on her and things have been pretty decent between us lately, she calls a few times a week and she's real excited about the trip we're going on. originally i thought this was cruel of her and that she just wanted to see other people but i know how much she loved me and like she said the other day. if we make it through this it will make our relationship that much stronger. shes worth taking the chance, just hope what ever happens is for the best.