how significant must one's gender discomfort be in order to be identified as tg?

[someguy87]

I've read that gender dysphoria is common during childhood and most people grow out of it. So then, what is it that causes people to actually go the extra step of becoming the opposite sex? meaning, at one point do people decide, they want to be permanently identifiy themselves as the opposite sex, where they feel like they truly belong ?

 

Basically, as young as I could remember, I liked acting like a girl. I clearly remember some incidents where I gotten trouble with another boy in school because one day I was role playing as a nurse....suddenly I told him to rub my bottom while I whimpered like a girl.....I didn't even know about porn and didn't even know about sex until several years down the road (anything sex related was taboo topic) so I am curious as to know why I did that? I just did what I thought was exciting and arousal to me....

 

I've told my parents "I feel like a girl" on several occasions and felt attracted to certain men. They told me I was way too oversensitive....

 

I've had people tell me that I sound like a girl at times...really awkward moments... like for example I would just talk normally and occasionally my voice would slip into a higher feminine voice causing my friends to remark..."dude why do your voice sound like a girl".....I wasn't even aware I was doing this....

 

Then they'd reply that it's wrong and that I am being overly sensitive....it's just a phase...or sometimes just quickly changing the topic.

 

During this time, I was so deeply ridden with guilt and fear of doing the "wrong" thing. I decided to just bury these feelings because I was really scared.

 

Now here's the confusing part....I have fat in my breast area since I was a kid and used to hide it by slouching and making my self small....I really don't want to have large muscles or look manly

 

I ignored it also because I started reading straight porn mags and formed an addiction to porn....I mean I want to * * * * vagina felt sexually attracted to women all my life but I could never go out with a woman because I always wanted woman to ask me out....afraid that they would discover my other side....I don't know why it's so overly difficult for me....I mean my friends seems to have none of the problems I seem to have and they are quite sexual (I didn't come out but I dropped hints that I am bi....didn't come out about my gender issue).

 

I don't know if what I illustrated warrants talking to a gender therapist. could I be a male lesbian? but male lesbians have no tendencies to have sex with man as a woman but I clearly and strongly do.....but my desires to experience sex as a woman with man is rampant these days...for example, I would watch a straight, vanilla sex porn and put myself in the women's place while a man is making ferocious love, and it's extremely arousing.

 

I don't know if my parents lied to me all this time, told me and forced me into thinking and told me what man should do and not do. To them, the very thought of gender dysphoria is a tragedy and a mental disorder.

 

will certainly seek a therapist this week....but reading other people's experiences really helps.

 

Thank you very much for reading this super long post!

[allsunny]

I believe GID is considered a mental disorder in the DSM (manual of psych disorders). Some prisons are required by law to accommodate GID prisoners by providing therapy sessions or offer hormone therapy.

 

Some boys/girls do grow out of the curiosity phase, but some continue on. If you feel more comfortable or normal as a girl, then I could only imagine how much pressure you're under. I'd definitely suggest talking to a therapist or reading about the issue.

[FathomFear]

Well, I think the first step is to acknowledge that sex, gender, and sexual orientation are all independent of each other. We tend to forget that because certain combinations are the norm (eg, male, man, heterosexual). However, there is nothing stopping a male from having a gender of woman and being sexually attracted to women, for example. It's much more rare but still a possibility. Your sex, the gender you identify as, and what you're attracted to are all separate.

 

Based on what you describe--the desire to have sex with men as a woman--I would say there's a strong chance that some portion of your desires to be a woman. I personally do not considering this a disorder and so object to the label of "Gender Identity Disorder", but I would recommend speaking with a therapist just to work out and understand your feelings so you can plot a course towards happiness in your life.

[lukeb]

The original question is difficult to answer, I think mostly it depends on the individual. Some of what you are talking about can be "cured" by more acceptance and understanding by society in general.

 

I do think it is important to separate the sex from the gender identity. Take sex out of the equation, do you still want to be seen as a woman, go to work as a woman, be friends with men and women as a woman.

 

Good luck