Gymboy Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Whail!!!!! iPhones for you pal. Link to comment
replytome Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 For ***** s sake fellas. I'm back from a night out, and I was hanging with my mates, havin a good night, and then out of nowhere my ex pops up, I look at her walking towards me, and I don't recognise her at first, as soon as she smiles at me i recognise her and my reflex is to say ''ffffuuuckk!!!'' she sees this and walks by.... Then I got really down thinking she was probably out with her new dude, and I go downstairs to check it out. I see her with her friend (who I know) and stupidly I go and talk to them, I speak to the ex and she says ''it's nice of you to come and say hi'' I say '' yeh well I know you guys so'' and then she says ''i thought you were in australia'' stupid cos I told her im leaving saturday, and I say ''no, i'm going saturday'', afterwards I try to say ''today was my last day of work'' but she couldn't hear me because of the music so I said cool and I left... Damn it, I feel as though I lost all the power I gained from our last encounter...please help me see it differently. Please tell me that the power isn't gone. I mean it could be seen as me being mature and polite rather than just pissed off. I left it at that anyway then fingered a girl on my way home in the car. I think that it sucks that this had to happen. Two more days and I would have been gone from the country. And she knows I always hang out at that place, and what the hell is she doing there on a thursday?? Her friend btw is visiting from england. Finally our paths will no longer be able to cross. On a positive note, I didn't really recognise her, saw her as i would a stranger. Still the blow she gave me is still there, as is the idea. Link to comment
Gymboy Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Boreed just dont look too much into it. You are going to AUSTRALIA tomorrow, you have all the power that is important, the power to live your own life and make yourself into what you want to be. Man, i've had a weird 24 hours. She text me last night giving me luck for my degree results (which i got what i wanted so big relief there), and we texted back and forwards for a while late last night. I basically said everything i have wanted to say, i knew i was pushing her away during the end of the relationship because our future was so unsure. She said she does miss me a lot sometimes and thinks about me every single day, she also said she is still in love with me which was nice to hear that she hasnt moved on as well as i had thought and i am actually the one who is coming out of it the better person. We also both said to each other that one day we would like to maybe try the relationship again, when we are both ready and if circumstances are good for a reconciliation then why not? She also said she really doesnt want any relationship for a few years and wants to concentrate on being alone, because she has been in commited long term relationships since she was 13 pretty much non-stop. Basically it made me feel a lot better about how things have turned out. I know for sure now how she feels, and i know what we both meant, and still mean to each other. It's a hard predicament to be in but we have both said it is the right decision for each of us. I want to build a life for myself away from a relationship and have as much fun as possible while i am young. Traveling has always been my aim and when i was with her, i put that aside becuase of the relationship, now i am fully focused on achieving that goal. It feels really good that all the wondering and doubt has gone, it also feels good to know we both really did love each other, and still do i think. The bitterness and anger i had before has completely evaporated now and it feels like complete closure of that chapter of my life and now i can concentrate completely on the next chapter. I'm really happy at the moment and i think last night will be a massive boost to me moving on now. Link to comment
replytome Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Lads, I'm leaving for australia today. Probably not coming back on this forum. It's been a pleasure, and thanks for all your support! I'll try to check in if I can, otherwise it'll be when I get back, but by then I hope I forget about this ordeal completely! March on lads! Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 i'm really in a bad place, i feel proper sad. i dunno whats going on, i feel like ive gone back a million miles. i was on facebook and her picture came up and she looked really nice, i started crying Link to comment
cole-kenneth61 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 mark - block her. i dont need to say anymore, and you know it and that it makes sense....the only results you can gain from having access to her information on facebook are negative. Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 cheers mate,ive done it now... dunno whats going on with me , I HATE that im not fully moved on yet. I hate it so much that she still has a affect on me!! Link to comment
cole-kenneth61 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 with you on that mate. she changed her profile picture on friday...had my head spinning so text her seeing how she was. massive error! just felt this haze set in when saw picture. new information is not good at all! i need to practice what i preach but easier said than done...anyway she's blocked again now Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 i'm alright now, this morning was horrible. I was so upset... think I was still drunk off the night before haha... thanks thomewat ... glad to see ur still kicking about hows it going with you? Boreed..goodluck with the trip have an amazing time!!! Link to comment
cole-kenneth61 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hangovers are still a problem for me as well Mark, alone with your thoughts and bored. I'm doing good, was at Glastonbury last weekend which was amazing as standard. Was chased by this girl over the weekend which was fun and a good confidence boost...she wanted to see me again this week, but realised I'm not fully healed at all and at the moment I'd only be comparing her to the ex. Sucks a bit, but I definitely need some time alone being single... but I'm concerned that I will miss out on some amazing young lady as she hasn't got the ex's eyes, or her laugh etc ye know? Not sure how long this will go on for, and how I will tell then I'm fully healed and ready for someone new? The one thing that is getting to me at the moment is the idea that the ex might be 'doing better than me'...were on the same degree programme and the idea that she might have had a better degree result, or doing some cool work experience really gets to me. In my mind she has sort of become my rival, I'm a little bitter I suppose! Saw her results up on the notice board in uni, and after we split her grades went really down hill...is it wrong this made me a little bit happy? Now that Glasto is out the way I have a long Summer of doing my Masters dissertation....wohoo! ha - all good really Link to comment
Gymboy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Chin up boys. It's normal to have ups and downs we've all had them just read through the thread. Things have got weirder and weirder with me and my ex lately. I went out saturday night and got absolutely trolleyed, I was supposed to be going back to this girls house when the club closed. Anyway I was outside with my mates and my phone rang so I thought it's the girl from tonight so I answered it without looking and it was my ex. Shed called me 4 times. I put the phone down straight away, it was weird, I genuinely didn't wantro speak to her at all. Anyway we texted a bit yesterday about it and she said that one day after I've been traveling and she's got her career on track she would like to give the relationship another try. I said I would too but the more I think about it the less I don't want to. I went to see foo fighters play yesterday and had the best day of my life, she's just not playing on my mind at all anymore. There are so many things I can do now that couldn't before. I'm having the time of my life living back home, working then getting hammered on a weekend. I do kind of miss her sometimes but then I just think what's the point and sort of pull myself out of it. The more this break up goes on the more I'm starting to realize I'm a lot better off without her than she is without me so maybe I wasn't as needy as I thought. Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 I am so so so so so glad it was just the hangover, wish I could stop getting ;like that though - but I do feel great that when I'm not hungover im getting on with my life quite nicely! it felt like the end of the world for about an hour or two the yesterday morning... I have been chatting to a new girl I used to know a few years ago yesterday, saw her in the supermarket so added her on facebook... we were messaging all day pretty much - maybe I will ask her out for a drink when I get back from holiday? what do you's reckon? foo fighters, glastonbury.. you lads know how to party eh! haha i'll be away next week, really cant wait... hope i pull a a few nice birds. xbox tonight! Link to comment
Gymboy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Yeah mate you should definitely ask her for a drink sometime. Leeds fest as well for me. Man this is probably gonna be the best summer I've ever had! Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 I'll leave it for now... Just play it cool haha I think that's what I need to do forever.. I'm pretty proud of how far I have came, despite my little blip the other day I'm really enjoying life. Like when I'm out on the golf course with my mates I think to myself ... Savour this moment ... And I take a look around and just enjoy that moment. Might sound weird but for some reason everything I took for granted I really appreciate now. I think its because of what's happened with me and my ex, you never really know what's going to happen tomorrow - so just trying to enjoy everything as much as I can. Its been such a learning curve for me, I'm embarrassed that I couldn't handle it when it happened and it has definitely shaped me for the future. I'm very proud that I was able to knock back the invitation of going for a drink.. That's a positive for me because in the past I would have went running with plans to try and win her over. Not this mark anymore though. I think 2011...the 23rd year of my life has been and still is one of the most important years of my life... I've had to become a man this year. The future is bright now, I never ever thought I would be happy again when she broke my heart. But I am and its well good now! Most of ther time I don't give her a second thought, obviously I'm going to have a blip from time to time... But that's just because I loved her.. You can't just turn that off. Even though she is a total bit ch for detagging herself from my graduation photo, but that keeps me going in knowing that this is the right thing because if she really cared about me like she used to say she did... She wouldn't have done that I don't think. Great to hear from you lads n that u's are still going strong.. It keeps me on the straight and narrow too... Just because I know I'm not the only person in this boat! Link to comment
cole-kenneth61 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Boys, could do with a bit of advice or reassurance (no yes men though!) Felt absolutely shocking last night. Had a good day out swimming and then for dinner with some mates. Come home and BOOM she's been tagged on facebook in some of her mates photos looking incredibly gorgeous. Tanned, come off the pill so lost some puppy fat she wasn't happy with...glowing. Felt this hot rush come over me...really messed me up seeing her, new information etc...you know how it goes? I can't deal with new info about her, and she has graduation coming up very soon...so likelyhood is that she will be tagged in photos with her mates who have added me on facebook as a result of us being together. I've decided I should delete her friends as well as her (she is already blocked)... I don't want access to this sort of information... but, should I be feeling at all guilty about this? Her friends have always been pretty good to me through relationship and the break up, but to heal I feel this is what I need to do and hence to fully let go. Chances are as we have all finished uni now we won't see each other again anyway. Thoughts? It upset me seeing photos of her, seems that she is doing really well...although in reality this might not be the case- eg, in a load of photos I've added recently I look like I'm having the time of my life...also, is she really going to be crying or looking sad in photos that she puts on facebook?! She is back at home in a big city where there are plenty of things going on, where as I am moving home to a small town with little life... she seems to have more to concentrate on (my dissertation aside) to move on than I do which sucks. I'm still in the city that we went to uni together in, and spending time in the bedroom she pretty much moved into 5 nights a week throughout the year...I leave on Friday to go home for at least a couple of months to finish off my dissertation. I think getting out of this house that has so many memories of her and I together will do me good....re-group at home. It's funny, you think you're fine and then something as small as a photo puts you back...not to worry, I know I'll be fine. A month or two ago this would have affected me far more than it has today Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Share Posted July 24, 2011 long time no speak! i've been on holiday with my mates - it was great... I think I really needed it. Thomewat did you get sorted? Did you remove the mutual friends? I do my best to steer clear of mutual friends pages as I know that there could be a photo lurking which could knock me... I have had contact since I last spoke to you... my ex text me to tell me she was moving away and also to tell me she had passed uni (this is after she deleted herself out of my graduation photos) I didnt go down the route of saying "are you for real!?... you deleted my graduation photo and now want me to say well done for passing your course"... i just kept if very short and light and said well done. She tried asking me out for a goodbye drink, I couldn't believe it... anyway I turned it down and that was that.... A week or so later she text me asking for her two Wii controllers which I forgot I had, she said she could come and get them or we could meet somewhere and I can giver her them. I decided to give them to a mutual friend instead. It had me puzzled, she hates anything to do with computer games, she hated the Wii... when we lived together she would NEVER want to put it on and would moan if I was playing anything on it because she would be missing Xfactor or something... it was just strange, it seemed like she wanted to see me for some reason.... in my heart I think she wanted to show off and turn up looking her best and brag to me about moving away. cruel. I may be wrong but why pester me to meet up and even come up with ridiculous excuses like Wii remotes?? anyway, that was before my holiday.. I went away and had a great time, got all my confidence back... bit of a tan and I seem to actually be not so bad afterall and girls seem to be attracted to me when I'm out... and also I dont get upset when I'm hungover anymore yeeeaaaahhh ... I thought that would never end. I still think about it/her quite alot, well after all she was my girlfriend for a long time and I thought she was 'the one' so I'm still adjusting... but this is just life... these things happen, people come, people go some people are with you forever. I'm proud of myself for getting through in the end, I feel younger now that I am single its weird but I like it.... Hope all you guys are doing well too Link to comment
Gymboy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Whey! Hi boys, haven't been on here for a while now, good to hear from you two. Thomewat how are you doing now? It's like we've said in this thread, we all just need to concentrate on us, concentrate on YOUR life and YOUR future, what the exs are up to doesn't matter. Mark sounds like you had a great time on hol and I think it is healthy to be around girls, atleast for me it is...I think. Speaking of which I'm going for a drink with a girl from work tomorrow which I'm excited about so it feels like I am steadily moving on. I had a pretty big blip for about a week were I just couldn't stop thinking of my ex (after those texts we sent earlier), but I've since told her that I don't want any contact with her anymore. It's pointless to be in contact with an ex IMO, it just gives you false hope. How are you doing then lads? Sounds like your living the dream mark. Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 same to you mate, glad ur still kicking about here I like being single now... back from my holiday and ive been asked to go to ibiza with some other friends in september... will be well expensive but im kind of tempted... its great that I have the choice anyway being single... so yeah you could say living the dream haha... I will be if I got to ibiza anyway! football season kicks off soon too cant wait for that, well into my golf and im even learning spanish on the way to and from work haha! gymboy to be honest last time I spoke to you I thought you were headed in the direction of trying to reconcile... what happened there? I must say I am glad to hear you speaking like that because from what you told me about the problems with you and your ex I think ur better off without her. how's the saving going for ur travelling? Link to comment
replytome Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 G'day from australia lads! I'm having the time of my life here! Thank god the ex dumped my sorry arse. Done skydive, bungee, whitewater rafting, scuba on the great barrier reef etc etc, met some great people and great girls . Never been this happy. When I sit down I sometimes give a thought or two to the ex but nothing major. Gymboy you'll love travelling mate! The money I'm spending here, is money I would have used to help pay for her masters degree. Turns out I escaped a horrible future, and am now living the perfect life. Tomorrow I'm going sailing in the whitsunday islands for 2 nights. Incredible! I hope you are all doing great and I'm proud of you boys, and myself! Mark, what you said about becoming a man...exactly how I feel. This was initiation into manhood! Link to comment
Gymboy Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Noooo mark I dont want any kind of relationship at this age. I'm just having fun going out with mates and getting very drunk. I don't need a girlfriend nor do I want one. I do kind of want the things you get in a relationship, sex mainly, but I don't want anything serious so im just working on being happy on my own. Saving for traveling is pretty non existent at the moment, been spending way to much money on nights out but I'm gonna start next month for sure. Bored sounds like you are having an amazing time, I cant wait to be doing the things you're doing. Only 14 months of work to go. Haha. How much has going to oz cost you all together bored? Lads I'm gonna keep checking on this thread just to see how everybody's doing. While it's plain to see we've all moved on considerably in the last month or so I also know I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm moving in the right direction. You guys got any tips for not checking Facebook and things like that? I dunno why but whenever I go on I look at her profile, it does me no good but I just do it out of habit really. Link to comment
mark4 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 hey boreed sounds amazing! i'm jealous haha! bet the birds over there are unreal - good to hear from you ... sounds like your in a brilliant place (geographically & mentally) pat on the back for getting to where you are now.... I think we were all at the same stage and its nice to see we have all manned up a bit, taken it on the chin and now getting on with our lives. This was all part of the plan. Gymboy, there is no magic advice other than for YOU to just make a decision to stop doing it and sticking by... There's nothing positive to gain. Only a potential negative reaction to seeing something you don't want to see. I know that you actually already know that so I wont blabber on, its up to you.... so just do it, don't check it again from now on, you can do that mate. I need some advice from you's actually if you can ... when I'm out and about... I get my fair of attention mainly like repeated eye contact at a bar or a girl like dancing right behind me like pretty much touching back to back as if to get my attention.... but.... I'm having a bit of bother with my nerves like I seem incapable of making the first move, I wish I had the courage to go for it but ... I get a bit shaky and end up sort of ignoring them and moving on with the rest of the night and then my chance is gone! do you's have any advice for me on that? Link to comment
Gymboy Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 That my friend is the age old problem. I never just walk up to someone I see in a bar or wherever and just start talking to them, I think the majority of girls would find that a bit too much. Your best bet is either at the bar or on the dance floor. If youre at a bar and there's a girl next to you who gives you a bit of eye contact or whatever just say "hello". Literally that's all you have to say. If they give you the cold shoulder then nevermind but 99% of the time you'll end up chatting away and thats a start which is all you need. Same with birds on the dancefloor to be fair. Just be confident and make the first step, girls will never ever make the first step. That's the mans job. I always used to be dead shy where women are concerned but now I am a lot more confident which is weird considering I got dumped. Haha. I got knocked back by a girl this weekend which is honestly the first time it's ever happened. We were all at the bar and I said "hi" to the girl next to me who scowled and moved away, que hysterics from all the lads with shouts of "shot down". It was embarrassing but funny as well. Im looking at life like pokemon now. Gotta shag em all. Link to comment
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