People who are alone.

[rose35]

This may sound very pessimistic but..for a long time i have been feeling that the older you get--the less people you have to REALLY rely on and be with.

 

Don't get me wrong..you have that best friend who will be there in times of need or maybe a brother, sister, parents.

 

But i just sort of feel in general as time goes on and your friends get involved in relationships and concentrate on that (which is natural and normal in my opinion), they get that great job or house..they just sort of move on without you for the most part if you are still single.

 

That's how i feel anyway..I just don't rely on having someone there b/c i know their lives will eventually move on to only seeing them once in awhile--which is normal..being in a relationship, married, kids..whatever it is..that takes over..but if you are single..you are sort of being left behind over and over.

 

I don't rely on friends..i learned that after highschool when my oldest friend got her first b/f..we hung out graduation night and then whole summer it was nothing from her b/c she was with him everyday..at that age i was a little annoyed and didn't say anything..it's just a feeling i remembered and since then i started to realize that will happen with all of my friends no matter how close.

 

I feel like it is really important to find a partner b/c if i don't--i just think i will be pretty alone in the future.

 

I feel like the older you get the more competition there is with things too..jobs, house, apartment, boyfriend, engaged, married..i personally feel that even if you are friends--there is still some slight jealousy if one isn't doing as well as the other.

 

I can admit i am definitely feeling that way being in my mid twenties, single, not a job that is fulfilling or even pays that well..and everyone else i know is either married, engaged, having a kid or has a great career.

 

This is more of a rant than anything but i do personally feel for a very long time that i just can't let myself rely on having a friend or friends around forever..yes it is nice to keep in touch but i basically just see it as that...

[Ambiguous X]

Friendships can end...and they can also begin...but having said that...The strongest man stands alone-Ibsen.

[LostnConfused]

To an extent I agree. I think this is because seeing these friends takes considerably more effort than it use too. The one's you do see still see, even only once in a while, are you real friends. I'm in my mid twenties and I consider only a handful of people my real friends.

 

You can't really blame others for having different priorities when they have families, significant others and jobs consuming all their time.

[rose35]

yea definitely can't..but it's just a knowledge that you can really only rely on yourself and your partner if you are lucky enough to have a good one or one at all. And if you don't..you can be pretty much alone for the most part.

[LostnConfused]

yea definitely can't..but it's just a knowledge that you can really only rely on yourself and your partner if you are lucky enough to have a good one or one at all. And if you don't..you can be pretty much alone for the most part.

 

I can sympathize with you there. There are times were I feel like I can't rely on anyone. However, if you want friends that you can rely on when you need it, you need to show the same support for them. I found I had to show my concern for them first and when I needed it they reciprocated.

[twentiesgirl86]

I've found this as well. When I was a kid, I ahd my mom, sister, and a bunch of school friends to rely on. Now I am living on my own in a different city with a handful of friends. My sister has a baby and a boyfriend so she has her own life. So I kind of feel alone being single and being in my mid twenties as well. And I don't really know if I will find someone either.

[sumone]

the more you dwell on the loneliness the more you will be alone.. my mind plays on this alot. and it made it even harder for me to connect with people in the past, trusting is hard, i would hide alot,.... since i kept thinking they will soon leave anyway. the less people know about you.. the less they will be around. they dont know wat your thinking or feeling if you dont say something so how can ther react or be there. if my friend never told me about his issues, i wouldnt know he needs my help.. so how could i help? of course i want to be there. and vice versa.. and your friendship will grow

 

jealously has to do with you. if you feel that way.. you need to change it, because not everyone feels like that.. i had to learn to change my train of thought too. because not evryone measures things the same. i dont see having alot of money as winning, nor someone that has kids.. i dont want kids atm, and money isnt that important to me as some. money is one tool to help my plans but it doesnt overtake my life.. change your levels of measurements. if you always compare you will always lose.

 

going thru stages of life brings an end to alot of contact with certain people.. but it also bring a chance to contact new people that could be the best people you will have in your life.. the thing is you have to give it a proper chance.

i realised the more i started to let people in, the more they stayed and the more i stayed around them, made effort and go on with life.. and the more i was active with them, came out of my shell, the more attractive to people i was. actually it builds alot of character, confidence and reassurance.

 

make plans.. your life doesnt have to stay like this.. your the guide, no one is stopping you .

most people will die alone. but why waste your whole life waiting for that day?

 

before i had more people around me in numbers.. but felt more alone and less good friend.. and not im older i have less people around me.. in numbers, but i have closer and better friends.

[Leftright]

It's something that is a common problem in any society. Loneliness is worse this day in age, more so than it was in the past. It has almost become something of a plaque. The numbers of lonely people in the 2010's has astronomically increased, thanks to cellphones, facebook, myspace, chat, forums...etc. There was a study done on this, and it's so true.

 

Single people this day in age tend to hide themselves away behind their computers and cellphones, instead of proactively going out and attempting to make new friends. The end result?

 

...Loneliness.

 

-LR

[bulletproof]

Judging from this and your prior threads, it just seems that you have a real problem with jealousy and comparing yourself to others. I am in my late thirties and not married. I am perfectly comfortable spending time with my friends AND their s.o.'s. I also make sure that I am always finding new friends, and there are a lot of people out there who are single, or secure enough in their own place in life that they can get away and spend time one-on-one with me if I need it. I am not going to say it's easy, because it's hard work to make sure that my life includes people I can rely on. Maybe you just need to structure your life so that you are not feeling like having a partner is the only way to feel supported.