Why is Alcohol the biggest culprit?

[soporcogitavi]

I was reading some old threads, and I see this reoccuring theme where people blame alcohol or the fact they were drunk for cheating. I find this absolutely ridiculous, its just a cop out. There's so many choices that have to be made before you actually cheat, that its impossible to blame alcohol. Just a thought.

[lavenderdove]

Well, it is and it isn't. People do all kinds of things when drunk that they wouldn't do sober.

 

Alcohol suppresses the brain cortex activities which is the center of logical thought and reason, which holds thoughts and values like, 'i love my partner. i don't want to cheat and hurt them. i don't want to do anything that will risk something valuable to me like my partner and family.'

 

When that part of the brain loses control or is switched off, the baser instincts in the lower more primitive parts of the brain that house emotions and drives like hunger, thirst, sexual drive etc. can basically run amok because the higher cortex is asleep at the wheel. That part of the brain says, 'GIMME GIMME GIMME sex, booze MORE MORE.' It is also responsible for why drunks get into fights and violent attacks, since aggression is triggered in the lower regions of the brain, and the higher brain usually keeps it in check, but loses control when alcohol suppresses that and aggression is unchecked.

 

We have a complicated tri-partate brain which explains why this happens. There higher brain which is the sight of higher logic and reason is asleep at the wheel when we drink.

 

Wisdom and maturity also play into this. People learn as they age that it is not a good idea to drink into drunkenness because you do lose control and that has terrible consequences.

 

So drinking isn't an EXCUSE for cheating, but there are concrete REASONS why it happens. If someone is older and is constantly drinking and cheating, then they know better, but choose to make wise choices because they enjoy drinking too much to want to stop.

[9eliz]

I agree with you soporcogitavi

[sidehop]

They also likely have the tendencies or their true nature gets revealed with alcohol. I wouldn't say alcohol alone plays a role in cheating. It really is an excuse and way to lessen their cheating behavior by blaming alcohol as the culprit.

[soporcogitavi]

They also likely have the tendencies or their true nature gets revealed with alcohol. I wouldn't say alcohol alone plays a role in cheating. It really is an excuse and way to lessen their cheating behavior by blaming alcohol as the culprit.

 

this is what i was looking for, do you think that people that tend to be more promiscuous when drinking also have a higher likelihood of cheating? or do you believe this is not related?

[9eliz]

this is what i was looking for, do you think that people that tend to be more promiscuous when drinking also have a higher likelihood of cheating? or do you believe this is not related?

 

I don't think they have a higher lielihood of cheating, but I would think that if you use the excuse of I was drunk, you are also very likely to get drunk with the intension of cheating.

 

I think alcohol brings out a side of you that is hidden, not usually seen or a side you that you don't want people to see

[sidehop]

Such tendency I believe paint a bigger picture of the person's personality whether he/she is aware or not. Coupled with something like alcohol where a person's conscience is dulled and somehow see infidelity as this some sort of escape or happiness it's very possible it can trigger a disaster.

 

It's like people that rely on drugs and alcohol to numb their pain; whether they learned to associate the effects or they've learned long before they were drinking growing up with alcoholic parent(s) as an example.

 

So it's hard to say such tendencies developed due to their childhood or is a learned behavior; but I do believe that alcohol a lot of times can boost one's personality whether it's positive or negative.

[kingofatlantis]

Like Lavender said It definitely isn't an excuse but alcohol does make it a little more likely. Me for example when I get drunk I would do things I would never do sober. I act like a bi-sexual sex fiend and just try and hit on everything that walks, and try and fight everyone available!...Now since I realized I become this way it's definitely deterred me from drinking so much a beer or two is all I have been having for years now.

 

 

It sucks how much of a cop out being intoxicated can be in court cases or relationships but it's never an acceptable excuse you still have some kind of control over your actions.

[itsallgrand]

People who blame alcohol for their cheating are the same sort that don't like or are unable to take responsibility for their own choices and life.

 

I grew up with alcoholism; alcohol becomes the reason for everything. Never the person.

 

So the bigger issue to me then would become that someone not only cheated, but can't even take responsibility for it. One bad judgment call is one thing - such as drinking and cheating. Saying it was the drink that made me do it - that is piling one rotten thing onto another.

 

It doesn't upset me. It's classic "I am not responsible for myself" thinking. Alcohol helps speed that along. I have come to believe that is why a lot of people drink to excess to do something stupid; because they want a concrete reason for not having control of themselves.

 

This is slightly off topic, but have you all ever seen the brain of someone who has drank to excess over a long period of time? Yeah. It's horrible. It's shrunk up and looks like a little piece of swiss cheese. People actually become stupider, over time, in some cases really severely. We have all heard that alcohol can cause brain damage, but when you see it for real, an actual brain and the actual people who are living with that brain damage, it is frightening.

[triangles]

I was reading some old threads, and I see this reoccuring theme where people blame alcohol or the fact they were drunk for cheating. I find this absolutely ridiculous, its just a cop out. There's so many choices that have to be made before you actually cheat, that its impossible to blame alcohol. Just a thought.

 

I agree wholeheartedly. I had a loser boyfriend who couldn't keep it in his pants, and he blamed it on being high or drunk. Such a cop-out.

 

It's an explanation (because alcohol skewers your judgment)...but it's NEVER an excuse.

[InkkedBree]

I do admit alcohol makes me a little weak to my better judgement, but at the same time, I do have good self-control over myself. I think everyone has self-control to master everything, but only if it is truly what they want. I confess, I have fallen to addiction once (not to drugs or anything of that sort, a different kind, something I noticed, wasn't disrupting the world and others would say it wasn't, but I noticed and I felt it was in my own opinion) and I suddenly just quit the moment I figured it out and decided. Self-control is there, only when we want to tap into it.

[selfi]

I think this post answers the question most accurately!

[happyhippo]

It is the equivalent of saying a man who beats his wife is not responsible for his actions because he does it when drunk. Fact is, if you know it's wrong (and you do, no matter how drunk you are) and you still do it, it's inexcusable.

[Glowguy]

People who use that excuse are not being accountable for their actions. Period. Yes, alcohol impairs judgment and lowers inhibitions, however everyone is well aware of that before placing themselves into situations that will lead to cheating. It's a character issue and the seed of intention is already planted far before the drinking begins.