Poll: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" vs. "Out of sight, out of mind" ???

[Destiny2112]

Just curious to hear your opinions, stories, experiences, etc.... on these 2 quotes....

 

Can absence really make the heart grow fonder??

 

THANKS!

[ChellyV]

based on experience, OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND

[Jd1983]

I think it really depends on the situation and what originally caused the break up.

 

Sometimes feelings do come back, others times they realize that sometimes things are for the better.

[italiannmf24]

Definitely depends on the situation. For me, Absense Makes the Heart Fonder. But that happened to me, dunno about everyone else's experiences.

[LoveHopePeace]

Absence makes me curious so i can't take my mind off things i absolutely vote for the first quote although sometimes knowing that a person is fine and not seeing him makes me relax and forgett him is easier

[doyathink]

Outta sight, outta mind for me.

[gingerlemon]

Short term: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Long term: out of sight, out of mind.

[michelle21689]

I was with my ex for 5 1/2 years but 2 1/2 years long distance. I can honestly say that absence makes my heart grow much fonder. When he went away to boot camp and I didn't hear his voice for 3 weeks I was missing him like crazy. Since we were distance we saw eachother every 2 1/2 months. It was hard but we never really had issues. I think it depends on the type of person you are and how deep your bond is.

 

We broke up 3 months ago, we still keep in touch and have feelings but we can't be together. Just completely different pages/stages of our lives....it's kinda sad but I'm moving on. I still miss him a lot even though I haven't seen him since January.

 

When I went in to no contact for two months...he finally contacted me a couple weeks ago. He said he missed me like crazy not being able to talk to me that he had to break our agreement and reach out. LoL, I did miss him more when I wasn't talking to him though. But with NC it helped me move on a lot faster not talking to him or knowing what is going on in his life. I think it also depends on how committed you are...and your mind set.

[-Sanguine-]

In my opinion, when someone says "absence makes the heart grow fonder", they typically mean during that time when you are new to a relationship (or even when it's been a little while and you're still having those really good feelings) and you are spending all your time together (perhaps too much time) so you're not having a chance to miss each other. But then you spend a few days or a week or a month apart and you realize how much you miss spending time with that person. A little space goes a long way.

 

However if you broke up for good reason, I don't think "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is an appropriate saying. In that case I would choose "out of sight, out of mind". I miss my ex and we have been broken up for 6 months... but the absence is only making things easier for me as I think of him less and less as time goes on. Even though I will always care for him and probably love him in a sense.. that does not mean that my heart is growing fonder because of his absence. The opposite, in fact.

 

So I agree with gingerlemon.. short term, absence makes the heart grow fonder.. long term, out of sight out of mind.

[kingofatlantis]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and after time transitions into out of sight out of mind. That's how it works for me.

[thejigsup]

It depends on the person and the situation for me. But...mostly I will say out of sight, out of mind.

[cbh1979]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, usually. When you're not around, and not showing interest, that's when people tend to wonder why you're not and think about you more.

[woodc5]

I realize all the great I had in her and in that respect I've grown fonder, but it's been a long time. Since then it's gotten much easier over time. Out of sight out of mind, I'd say.

[Lovestreak]

I took a woman for granted and she loved me alot. Its been 2 weeks since we had contact, but i think about her alot. She broke up with me and now she is the one getting bombarded by people for support. I would say that she is hurting too. I hope that in 2-3 months we can chat or talk again. So I would say that absence is an amazing thing when love is involved.... emotions...whatever. If it ended all of a sudden and you go NC, trust me.... its not over if you do the right things and work on yourself. That person will see it if they truly loved you. They first need to feel your absence to get past all the bad things.

[PrettyGood]

It depends on the time you passed. When a long period of time passed then out of sight - out of mind

[Day_Walker]

I think that both can be true depending on the situation.

[LikeDuh]

I think its the opposite for me, short term dating-out of sight out of mind after all i didnt know much

long term-heart grows fonder but its hard because then if I break up I take a long time to forget if ever, I guess it depends on the person and the relationship.

[golda]

Short term: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Long term: out of sight, out of mind.

yeah for me too

[Tryptophan]

Out of sight for a long time out of mind.

Short absence makes the heart grow fonder.

[masterswalt]

I think it is completely dependent on the situation, why there was a breakup. But generally from my experiences: Out of sight out of mind in the long run, in the short run distance makes the heart grow fonder. It is a delicate balance and oftentimes BOTH are happening at the same time. I am approaching 2 weeks NC. I miss her like crazy but at the same time the distance is making it easier to forget her.

[Destiny2112]

Thanks for all your input!!

 

I think it also depends on whether you are the dumpee or the dumper. We as the ones who got left behind, aren't we using NC to heal, to move on and to get the dumpers out of our minds (at least for the moment until the pain and negative feelings subside)? Actually I'm working to achieve "out of sight out of mind"... I wished, I was more successful though, since my ex is still creeping around in my thoughts *sigh*

 

I've never been the dumper and I know, it really depends on the situation, but I could imagine that once they are gone and a significant amount of time has passed, they do start wondering what we are up to and start seeing the positive sides of the relationship and about us and maybe start realizing what they have lost. But I know, all that doesn't mean they will show it to us and reach out again...