emotionally unstable

[savagegerbil1607306442]

I need some advice, or opinions, or any kind of input. I dont know where to begin.

 

Over the past year I have gotten to know someone very special in my life. Started as friends, grew into more, unfortunately she was married. We became very close at one time, too close. she had to end it, because she had to give her new marriage a chance.

 

This guy is a scumbag, the worst I could ever imagine. He abuses alcahol and drugs, he physically and mentaly abuses her, tries to get with other women right in front of his wife, and has even entertained the idea of letting one of his friends sleep with her.

 

anyhow, when we became close and she had to cut it off, we became distant and eventually stoped talking for a month. I became so depressed and hurt without her in my life, and I decided that I needed her in my life, even if it was just friendship, so we talked again and started rebuilding our trust and friendship.

 

She wasnt happy, and she finally decided to leave him after he had lied to her. coincidentally this is during the same time she wanted to go out with me. we had kissed for the first time, it was the most increadible feeling in the world. we spent the night together, the following day he was waiting for her, and hit her, and did something worse... she wont tell me what it was.

 

It's been about a month or so since then, things were really going great. she moved out, and we were spending a lot of our free time together, since she has a child, and they are at the beginning of their seperation/divorce we cannot go to normal couple places because he would use us to hurt her for custody. and since she is underage, we cannot go to the bars and clubs together. so we usually end up at my place, and makes me look like I am no fun.

 

She has hurt me in the past, and I am not quick in trusting that she wont do it again. We have gotten close, closer then we used to be but I sometimes have doubts and fears... and she see's it and thinks I dont want to be with her anymore. I love her, I want to be with her the rest of my life, but she doesnt want to be in a relationship right now, since she has been in a relationship for so long and needs to get an identity. I understand that and support her, but I dont feel comfortable with her going out to the bars and clubs when she turns 21. she has low self esteem, but she is increadibly gorgeous and I know a lot of men will show her attention, and she will like it =(

 

the other day, we talked and she said she wanted her "man" to only be attracted to her. why does she say she wants to make her identity and then to say something like that? we were supposed to spend the entire weekend together, but she got sick. I didnt want her getting worse but I was still sad I couldnt see her. Yesterday when we talked on the phone, I asked if she was gonna come over, cause she said she may if she was feeling better, she said no and I showed a little attitude. she hung up on me and later that day we kinda made up. this is the same kind of crap that happened last time, I tried calling her today and she doesnt call back which is unlike her, little signs here and there...

 

I am being so patiant with her, but her on and off feelings for me is driving me nuts.

[savagegerbil1607306442]

and one more thing i should mention, she got distant with me the last time after I expressed my love to her, coincidentally last week I told her I loved her, and now it starts again =(

[ezila]

Honestly, I'd say that this is a classic case of "too much, too soon". If she's just getting out of a MARRIAGE, she is definitely going to need some time to recover from that.

 

It's okay for you to give her attention, but I'd back off on the declarations of love for the moment; give her a little bit of breathing room so she doesn't get completely overwhelmed.

 

Good luck!