jonesyjakk Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Boy do I know that feeling m8. I nearly text my ex earlier but thankfully I posted and was saved. You know its the wrong thing to do mate, take this pain my friend, remember jonesy computer game analogy. im glad you remembered that....i too was having a weak moment yesterday and wanted to text her....i hate her so much yet i just miss sharing with her....i just miss doing things with her.....and today i would have been devastated for texting her....what ever id text...she would reply if i text i love you, i hate you, i miss you, i wanna see you hell leave ya bf and lets try again...she'd have text cos i do believe she feels guilty and wants to be friends or at least a bit more civil than what we are and i for one dont want anything to do with her at all...... and I WOULD BE GUTTED THIS MORNING if i had text her last night, say i text and said how are you? she replied im ok, how are you? i'd reply yeah am good, still think this is all crazy, was wondering how our son was? shed reply something like...glad your ok, he is very good... and all of a sudden ive opened the door to friends and all the hard work ive done being nc is blown apart...and that means when that fix of speaking to her is over and i realise she still doesnt want the father of her son back id be hating her again, ignore her when i pick him up, and confuse the hell out of both of us and look weak and like i was playing games!!! so glad i never text her....so glad.....!!!! to all og you, keep going, keep fighting, day by day keep healing your own hearts, ive taken giant leaps forward and have taken one giant one back the last few days, but im walking forward again now, slowly, i rode out the storm of the last few days and i feel proud for doing so.... once you fight those urges a few times.....it gets so much better! keep going guys jonesy Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Yeah! Keep fighting the good fight! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 I should be enjoying an extended weekend but im not, just means ive more time to think of her without me. Im soooo bloody sad, i think that you can reach a popint where it all just becomes to much to bare. Link to comment
Kev0s1983 Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Its early days Steve mate, thats what I tell myself at least. As you know and are sick of reading its just time and trying to keep active/productive... Its the reality and it sucks but it is what it is. Cant get any worse right!? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Im hurting real bad mate, know shell be havinga good weekend with friends and family, maybe even a new guy, ive noone this weekend, its times like this i wsish i wasnt here Link to comment
Kev0s1983 Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 You dont know she'll be having anything, its jus assumptions and looking negatively. You never know what shes thinking... Never convince yourself you have been forgotten about cos thats for sure not the case. No matter what the ex's circumstances, barring a medical thing, the memories are engrained in her memory as well as yours and will make her smile or sigh remembering the good times too. You gotta have the bad times to really experience the good times!! Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 i don't want to be a memory, i want to be present, i want her in my life again. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 How is everyone doing today? Steve how you doing m8? I went out last night with a female friend we had a good time, had some beers and talked about all kinds of topics... Getting out of the house really helps you forget the BU. Yet i still get temptations of texting her. but now NC has been going on for a while, i feel it's harder to break the more time passes. Because the risks of falling back to day 1 are much higher now. I cannot afford to fall back to day 1, i have a new job and don't want to risk losing it. I don't know if it's because it's Easter week end and i feel like contacting her but at the same time i realize that she did not make any effort to contact me. feels like we are in a battle of ego's. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Thanks Steve and Jonesy, i just read this post as i woke up this morning and i am glad i did not break NC last night, you guys inspired me. I was very close to breaking it, I am glad i resisted. week number 10 begins wednesday. Because it's Easter holiday and i have monday off, i had too much free time to start thinking of the BU again. Also the fact my mother spoke to her last week, it woke up the sleeping dogs. I could not sleep last night, i don't even feel like celebrating today. Feels so empty. Feels like a big emptyness in my soul. Hard to describe with words. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Piran, Read my post against all odds and go for it m8 Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Piran, Read my post against all odds and go for it m8 what do you mean go for it? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 i mean go find an adrenaline filled sport mate Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 i mean go find an adrenaline filled sport mate i will tomorrow, i am off, i will go to gym and shopping mall and get some new clothes. How you doing m8? handling NC well? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Im ok today m8, was in hell friday and wanted to end my life but ok ish now, day 42 today, want to text her loads but i wont, not now Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 hey steve, you ok mate? you had me worried over the last few days...bit worried when hadn't seen you posting...glad ya back mate! my life just got better too as you can see from my frantic post....! im glad ya back......stick with it man, i do promise you it gets better in time!!! the first 3 months are hell.....when you reach a day you can say im at rock bottom you can start to rise up again jonesy Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 I'm ok m8 I think, I reckon Friday was rock bottom day, hopefully its all upwards now. Glad Ur ok buddy. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 u will know when its rock bottom mate believe me....you will know.....it is a point when you feel you cannot physically be any lower, you just know that no matter what happens, what is said or done you will not get any lower.....you just know...... and from there....you start to heal mate! im cool man, im sat here with a nice cuppa my boy is sound asleep, feet up had a nice chat with a few friends on the phone, talked to my brother and im cool.....man that was a funny few hours for me but i sure did learn an awful lot in that time! keep going mate....just keep going! jonesy Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 That was it then m8. That was rock bottom. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 then i want you to seriously remember what i am about to say ok....remember this every day..... if that was rock bottom, remember that you will be good for a few days and down like hell for a few days, good for a day and down for a week, good for 2 days and down for a week, good for 3 days and down for a week good for 4 days and down for a week, until eventually you will be good for a week and down for 6....good for a week and down for 5.....see what im saying? you will still be down and miserable, hurt, angry, depressed oh why why why?????? but you will also have days when you think wow im fine....then tomorrow you will feel like sh11111t and you wont understand it......remember this is normal.....eventually you will be ok mate!!! if my ex text me what she text 3 months ago id have text right away i will drive up now so we can talk, and been in such a panic id have crashed before i got off my drive..... she text me tonight and i panicked for an hour, and honestly mate im sat here so chilled thinking what a di...ck she really is, so just chill man.....life is good, you'll realise that soon or i'll give ya ya money back! ha jonesy Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 steve, good to see you back. I read your other thread about your upcoming adventures. You are my hero! Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 good to see you m8's doing better! i almost broke NC today, i had some red wine and got a little wasted, i grabbed my phone and text messaged a previous ex and wished her happy easter and asked how she was doing... no reply... lol I kinda knew she would not reply. But at least i did not break NC with current ex. So if you guys are tempted to break it, text or call your previous ex! it works. You got nothing to lose. If they don't reply who cares? maybe they changed their number too... Friday i hit rock bottom too, i was expecting a little text msg like, hello how are you? or happy easter... but nothing... I am not surprised though, i hear the dumpers have a bigger fear of contacting their ex than the dumpee do. Jonesy you are right with the good for 2 days and down for a week and then it's down 2 days and good for a week! Unless your mother contacts your ex then your back to square 1 lol ! Steve day 42 is pretty good man! you getting there m8! I am at day 69 but felt like day 15 because my mother spoke to her on the phone last week and told me a few things they talked about, man that set me back... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Buddy, I'm noticing a common thread in your messages which I'm going to mention as I think it will help. I know you love your ex but you've managed nc for 69 days now which suggests you are strong and have accepted she gas gone, if not 100% yet. But think about it, you were buzzing only a couple of weeks ago because of a date that blew your mind and now to ease your hurt you text an ex ex to try and ease your way through this. I think you're lonely mate, desperately lonely, it all makes so much sense if you think about it, yes yiu miss the ex but you miss the relationship more hence the new date you got attached to. It's time to find you again my friend, one lesson I've learnt from this hell is to never rely on anyone again for my happiness, I can only achieve this if I find a peace with myself and learn to love being in my own skin again, I need to find things to do that I will live doing no matter if I'm with someone or not, then and only then will I maybe be ready to go again in the live game. I really believe this us what you need to do fella, it is of course only an observation and my opinion but if you look at all the evidence, it points to you being lonely. Hope this helps mate. Steve Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 hey steve how ya doing today mate? jonesy Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Guys am i sick, reading these post about how there will be good days and there will be bad ones and just keep sticking to NC and things will get better, i can't help but feel this is what is going on for my ex as well, and the reason he emailed me was because he was probably going through one of his bad days, but... i don't want him to get over me, even if I'm trying to get over him. so i know that if i email him it'll make him miss me but it'll just set me back in my healing. Am i sick for thinking this way? Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 only ever think about you sparkle, period....u will never heal if you concern yaself with ya ex and their feelings and healing....possibly thats what happened to my x yesterday, maybe that she was having a bad day, either way im over her text....dont concern yaself with things that are out of your control...nc means nc...u either do it or you dont, half way between and you will be squashed up and swallowed and spat out.... WHATEVER YOU DO DONT CONTACT YOUR EX IN WAY AT ALL YOU WILL REGRET IT MASSIVELY!!!!!!!!! jonesy Link to comment
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