stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Why me ? Sometimes i just feel like giving in..... So here i am day 24 NC, its been tough, really tough, im still very much in love with this girl and miss her terribly. Id love to win her back but know that it just isnt going to happen, i have accepted that she is gone. The 24 days of nc since i got my closure have been tough to say the least but i was just starting to turn the corner after a couple of good days. Ive avoided the town where she lives and where we bought a house together (ive never lived there) like the plague. I had to go over there today though as my children from a previous marriage needed collecting from school, i was anxious but thought ok, it needs doing. Im sat in the car outside the school minding my own business when who should walk by? the ex's mum and dad, they loved me like their own and i loved them back, we got on great, ive not seen them in months as they were away visiting relatives when the split happened and so i never got to say goodbye This has brought all of my progress crashing down and i feel like day 1 again, broken, crying and completely heartbroken. As per the title, Life is so cruel Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 Can anyone offer any advice ? Really suffering. Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I dont know what kinda advice u need my friend, well to make u feel better, i took flowers to my ex 15 days after the breakup and drove all the way to her house (around 2 hrs drive), she was with someone else...so yeah life is cruel.... Ur best bet is to move on, if its meant to be, it's meant to be....if not then think about it as if u dodged a bullet there...u dont wanna find out she gives up on relationships after saying "I do" Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 Sucks doesn't it ? I really had started to turn the corner, what a kick in the teeth Link to comment
sentencedtoagony Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Saw my ex's mom at store yesterday. we had very brief small talk. No mention of ex or anything which was both good and bad. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 Hurts so much, dragged everything up. I miss them to. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 STEEEEEEVVVVEEEE WHATS GOING ON? So what if it's day one again man??? remmeber when i sent you this? imagine.....i dunno, imagine a computer game, right, and you have to get from the start of the level to the end of it....you cannot save your progress, so if you die in the game you have to start all over again....you will die many times in that game and have to start over and over until you learn exactly how to get passed the bits that keep killing you....all of a sudden something happens you have never seen before...and you say wow, i made it to the end....level complete...and you think wow that wasn't so bad. if it feels like day one...call it day one...and start again.....you either make it to the end...or you start again, BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT TO THE END...keep going! you're doing well! jonesy Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 Hey Jonesy, Of course i remember you sending me that mate, i thought and still do that it is a great analogy, what im not used to though my friend is someone moving the goalposts and changing the rules. Im devastated fella Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I know you feel bad right now mate....truth is you will for a while...i just had a load of abuse off my ex today...i was so wound up but i kept my msgs to her nice n simple when i wanted to open a can of whoop a22 on her!!!! gotta keep ya self together man, and thats what you are, a MAN not a mouse....you're a man...a MAN god damn it....chin up dude...man up, whatever you like....put your trousers on and get a big belt to go with it!!! Jonesy!!! Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 gotta keep ya self together man, and thats what you are, a MAN not a mouse....you're a man...a MAN god damn it....chin up dude...man up, whatever you like.... Jonesy!!! This quote made my day better man Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm clearly not a man, this has whacked me for 6. I have all the thoughts and sense of sadness and loss I had weeks ago. Devastated, completely devastated. Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm clearly not a man, this has whacked me for 6. I have all the thoughts and sense of sadness and loss I had weeks ago. Devastated, completely devastated. u can stand up for urself, what is done is done...i saw my ex with her new bf 14 days after the BU, and i thought how can i get her back!!! lol yes now i stood up for myself and i want her to ask to come back so i reject her! i love her to death, but she broke my heart and i deserve better than that Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 You're a better man than I dumpedinshock, my hat is off to you. Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 No i am not...trust me....i still search for her on fb every few minutes, expecting her to have a pic kissing her new douche, her profile pic was kissing me b4 the BU. Think about urself as the prize, u deserve someone who wants to be with u my friend...u r a good person and deserve good things... This thought makes me so mad at her...but all in all, i love her! lol life is cruel! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 It most certainly is... Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I'm clearly not a man, this has whacked me for 6. I have all the thoughts and sense of sadness and loss I had weeks ago. Devastated, completely devastated. steve.......YOU ARE A MAN....its your ego thats hurting right now. You are a man, and you are a good one...yep, devastated.....it will pass! let your ego go....there's something about you i like, so i wanna help you....MAN OR MOUSE? you choose! jonesy Link to comment
No1 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 If you knocked down 3 times you get back up 4. You were married and you made it thru that. You dated and fell in love after your marriage. Im guessing that after your divorce you felt the same way.. Low. But somehow you made it, found a girl, fell in love and now, you have to start another chapter of your life. I think this whole NC seems more of a challenge rather than a life style change. Look at it as you walking away and not NC. To me NC insinuates you still waiting for the X to come back and thus not moving forward. Youll be fine. Youve done it before. You will fall in love again. It might not seem like it now, but you will. do what makes you happy, focus on your kids. Life is beautiful.. it really is. Sounds like everything in your life is okay, except for the broken heart. When I get down I think of all the poor people who dont have a place to live or food to and I think..wow.. my life isnt all that bad Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 Jonesy, No1, Thanks for your posts guys, I always appreciate what help people can offer. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 keep going we are right beside you man jonesy Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Steve, everything happens for a reason, sometimes a break up triggers or sparks a new relationship with someone else. It happened to me before. My ex left me on her birthday, Oh how life is cruel! 2 days after valentines! Double cruel! You know what's more cruel? I saw her online on the dating site where we met only 2.5 weeks after the break up, and this girl loved me and wanted to marry me. I am crushed. But what can I do? I move on and been doing NC for 7 weeks now. Gonna start dating other women and forget her. I am done wasting my thoughts on this woman who did not appreciate me. Steve move on and forget the past. Don't be afraid of losing what is already lost. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 7, 2011 Author Share Posted April 7, 2011 Thanks Pirandello, I'm sorry to hear about you loss. It's good to see you picking yourself up though. Well done my friend. Link to comment
sentencedtoagony Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I'm right here with you all too. 10 days no contact. Gotta admit I'm still hanging on though. Link to comment
TornTattered Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Ill join this dance. I made it 3 weeks without saying something. I fixed everything i disliked with myself over the past month+. In fact, this is the best ive felt about myself in over a year. So I wound up messaging the ex. All i said was whats up. Didnt respond. Oh well. I just didnt want it on my mind anymore. I know if i didnt do something, i would hold it in my head for weeks. I feel crappy now, but tomorrow is a new day and there are better people out there. Just remember that guys. Link to comment
TornTattered Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 My buddy once said this. "When God shuts a door. I open another beer." So grab a beer fellas. Link to comment
rigguy Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 ^^^ Awesome quote Torn. OP you said you are back to day 1, well may be you are but in time you will see that each time it takes less and less to get back up, good luck bud Link to comment
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