Pirandello Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Ok will do, I will do my best Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Morning all, Been feeling a bit better the last few days and given that weekends are always my toughest time, progress is being made. I'm missing her this morning though, its a beautiful day and shell be waking up in the house we bought, possibly with someone else, how that fills me with sadness. I love this girl so much and want her to be happy but must I suffer so much heartbreak for so long in the mean time. It's day 28 nc today. I'm missing her my friends, have tears streaming down my face sadly. I hope you're all well today. Steve (mouse) Link to comment
cdalton17 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 we all miss our ex's steve, I dreamt about mine last night, was not a good one either. It has been over 2 months now since she left me after 8 years. I get hard one myself to at times, I put most of the blame on me for her leaving and it feels sad to think this way (even if it is the truth), The only thing I do is just keep on going, Being positive in my life and fixing what I have been doing wrong. Thats the only way I have found that helps. I still cry evry now and then from the sadness. I let it all out. But it is getting a lot less. I am doing things for me and creating new memories with out her. I also still have hope for us (she has nobody) But I try not to thing about it to much (makes me sad). I just do what I need to do to make myself happy. I broke No-contact yesterday, Need to return her cat today we got together 6 years ago. Also she has one of the dogs(there was two) and I asked her if I can take him to the doggy park with the other dog. She will be working today so i probably will not see her (which is a good thing) she is at her fathers place and he should be home. So I will go there today and drop the cat off and take the dog out for a hour or two. Not doing this for anybody or any motives, Just felt like doing it and wanted too. Went to my brothers last night, they had a surprise b-day party for his wifes best friend (pretty girl and single). At first I was very uncomfortable, since the last time I have seen them was with my ex and we all got along very well. matter of fact when my ex first left she contacted his wife and wanted to still be friends and all. So this was a little difficult for me at first, But as the night went on I started to relax a little and enjoyed what I was doing, Talked to this girl for a little bit (I am not looking for a realtionship right now) and it was nice, at first I was like I wish my ex was here, she would have enjoyed this party and the new me of how I do not drink no more and the way I act now. But my brother his wife and others I have known before but have not seen in a while all said WOW you look great and a lot better and younger ( i lost 45 pounds to date, going to gym, taking care of myself and got new cloths) all this helps guys, my self esteme is coming back, I am a good looking guy, I know this when I go places and drive somewhere how I get looks when passing by (that always makes me in a better mood), My ex even said the same thing 2 weeks ago that I was looking good. But she is not just for looks in a guy, so I know how to take it. But all in all a good night out last night, first time to a party or what have you since BU, talked with ne w people there, even one on one with that girl (who told my brothers wife I look good, she told me ).. So with this, Do I still miss and want my ex, Yes guys I do. Can I have that, No guys I cant, So what is the point of getting all sad and cry? Nothing really, But you need to do it, You need to hit complete bottom before you can go back up that hill of life. I hit bottom, I am on my way back up, I remember the times my ex was all over me, Hunting me down like a was dinner, I remember those times, Will this happen again, no it will not, But what I can do is go and be that man I was before her and actually an improved version of this, If she notices so be it, But the main thing would be, become that confident man with a great head on his shoulders and with a bright outlook for my future, This is what girls truly want guys. A man who is confident, secure with himself, and a good lifestyle.. You get all of this back. You will have someone again soon enough... Take care guys and keep pushing towards your personal goals in life and get yourself together... Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Morning all, Been feeling a bit better the last few days and given that weekends are always my toughest time, progress is being made. I'm missing her this morning though, its a beautiful day and shell be waking up in the house we bought, possibly with someone else, how that fills me with sadness. I love this girl so much and want her to be happy but must I suffer so much heartbreak for so long in the mean time. It's day 28 nc today. I'm missing her my friends, have tears streaming down my face sadly. I hope you're all well today. Steve (mouse) I feeling the same pain this morning its only been 2 days NC, i was missing my ex so badly last nigt i wanted to go to his house scream and tell him i love him and to come back. My sister talked me out of it and i keep replaying all the things he said in my head to give me enough strength to continue going through with this. Only i am completely hysterical, snot nosed and all. i hate that i could've made things better but i just kept being stubborn its my fault i know this which makes things that much harder for me to leave him alone. i just miss him being so happy to see me or speak to me, and now feeling like someone else is doing that for him kills me. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Hey sparkle, At least we are together on the snotty nose front. I feel your pain, you're not alone. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks steve, i almost wish there was like a gathering where we could meet up and just cry together because my friends are literally sick of me Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 That would be excellent, id be up for it for sure. Really am having the worst day today, feels like my world has ended, i should know better as Sundays are always the same for me, i come on here and pour my heart out, i have sore eyes and feel like doing myself in. As per my title line, Life is so cruel. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 You guys really have to give up the victim mentality. I know it's tough, but moping around won't solve anything. Get out and go do something instead of sitting at home, you'll feel better. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 MakeitCount is right, I went out last night on a date and i feel a lot better, We had a great time and we stayed up late, I felt a strong connection with this woman, she is 6 months older than me but i feel like this woman knows what she wants, she is more mature than my ex. I know, i am not going to start comparing, but we felt a great communication and chemistry. Usually on a first date i go to one place and then it's goodnight, we ended up going to 3 places and she wanted to stay with me after... I know it's still early though and i will take my time with her. Guys don't be the victim, go out an date and have fun, don't have high expectations, just enjoy the moment, life is short, no use dwelling over an ex who has moved on a long time ago, Why let life pass you by while they are probably having fun and not even thinking of you anymore. I know i am being harsh, but it's the reality of things. Sometimes reality really hurts, what can we do? Take charge, each day that passes and you dwell and do nothing is delaying your chance of meeting someone else, think about it. Life is about creating opportunities, it's about timing too, go out there and find your soul mate, they are waiting, don't make them wait too long... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Piran, I'm glad you had a good date my friend. I am miles off even thinking about doing that though. I'll just have to miss the boat. This isn't about moping or feeling sorry for myself though, just sometimes its overwhelming. Can't change that sadly. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Piran, I'm glad you had a good date my friend. I am miles off even thinking about doing that though. I'll just have to miss the boat. This isn't about moping or feeling sorry for myself though, just sometimes its overwhelming. Can't change that sadly. Saying life is cruel IS feeling sorry for yourself man. It is what it is unfortunately, and you need to speed up your recovery by getting out and doing something. It'll help a million. The worse thing you can do is sit at home right now. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Piran, I'm glad you had a good date my friend. I am miles off even thinking about doing that though. I'll just have to miss the boat. This isn't about moping or feeling sorry for myself though, just sometimes its overwhelming. Can't change that sadly. thanks mate. it's ok, take the time it takes to heal my friend. You will be better soon. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks fella, I'm gad you're on the up. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks fella, I'm gad you're on the up. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I've been going out all weekend, Charlie Sheen Friday, Saturday LIPS drag queen show, today IMATS and just walking around the city i'm more of a home body. so going out doesn't really help me, its makes me feel more alone being around groups of people like that. All weekend each moment of happiness was countered by sadness ten fold because it made me miss him so much more. Its not being a victim trust me i wish i didn't feel like this and i'm truly trying to get out there and do stuff it just isn't helping me.. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I've been going out all weekend, Charlie Sheen Friday, Saturday LIPS drag queen show, today IMATS and just walking around the city i'm more of a home body. so going out doesn't really help me, its makes me feel more alone being around groups of people like that. All weekend each moment of happiness was countered by sadness ten fold because it made me miss him so much more. Its not being a victim trust me i wish i didn't feel like this and i'm truly trying to get out there and do stuff it just isn't helping me.. MSparkle, why don't you go on a few dates, if you don't like going out alone. Online dating helps. It will help you forget your ex. Link to comment
sentencedtoagony Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I've been going out all weekend, Charlie Sheen Friday, Saturday LIPS drag queen show, today IMATS and just walking around the city i'm more of a home body. so going out doesn't really help me, its makes me feel more alone being around groups of people like that. All weekend each moment of happiness was countered by sadness ten fold because it made me miss him so much more. Its not being a victim trust me i wish i didn't feel like this and i'm truly trying to get out there and do stuff it just isn't helping me.. I've been doing the same thing, mostly to distract myself from my thoughts. I'm more of a homebody too. Miss hanging out with my woman on my couch. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Ok, Well is day 29 nc now but also 1st day back to work after being signed off for the last 6 weeks. Being back is tough not been at work and not gone home to her before, everywhere and everything is reminding me of the person I've lost, its very sad. Today does confirm though that of I want to move on and be happy in myself again, to love who I am and be content in my own skin then I need to leave this role and seek another. I thought this would be the case as I was 99% sure I only stayed for the money anyway. I now have confirmation and a lot of thoughts I'd like to lose. Thanks for your continued support guys, ill try and hold it together. Steve. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Ok, Well is day 29 nc now but also 1st day back to work after being signed off for the last 6 weeks. Being back is tough not been at work and not gone home to her before, everywhere and everything is reminding me of the person I've lost, its very sad. Today does confirm though that of I want to move on and be happy in myself again, to love who I am and be content in my own skin then I need to leave this role and seek another. I thought this would be the case as I was 99% sure I only stayed for the money anyway. I now have confirmation and a lot of thoughts I'd like to lose. Thanks for your continued support guys, ill try and hold it together. Steve. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I am going back to work too, today. it's been a long year, long winter and now it is spring, new job, new girl. A new chapter of my life begins. As i woke up this morning i was having thoughts of my ex and then i said ok that's enough, think of your new girl, she is amazing going to see her friday, i feel we both have a lot of attraction for each other and her level of interest is high, i can feel it. I still get urges of sending the closure email to my ex, it's been 2 months now i haven't spoken to her or texted her. I don't know if that would help, i been on NC since the day of the break up... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Piran, I so wish I had your strength my friend. Good luck fella. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Steve, im BACK!!!!!! How you holding up? Jonesy Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 man up son......i went to blackpool for a stag weekend and ive met the girl of my dreams....bonkers......mate sort it out.....get off ur a22 and get out there im gonna get poison and a mouse trap jonesy Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Jonesy is back yes! welcome back bro! did you bring any cheese Jonesy ? Link to comment
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