Pirandello Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Steve!, Jonesy! what's up guys? i have some news, it did not work out with the girl i met, I lost the attraction i had for her when we met, she said some things that turned me away, so i told her it's best we go each our way. Also did not want to use her as a rebound. I am going to put dating on Ice for a while. Steve you were right, maybe i am not ready yet, i am still healing from the BU. Regardless, i am not sad or depressed, i can be happy alone now even without my ex. How you doing Steve? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 17, 2011 Author Share Posted April 17, 2011 Hi Mate, Ive just sobbed over my mum for the last 2 hours, im 38 years old and feel like a complete failure, im broken, lost, empty and basically feel like ive had enough, i told my mum that ive had enough of life and she got upset to. Life is awful mate, not sure if i can get through this anymore, really really have had enough. Im sorry to hear about you and thisnew girl Link to comment
fire2therain Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Ive just sobbed over my mum for the last 2 hours, im 38 years old and feel like a complete failure, im broken, lost, empty and basically feel like ive had enough, i told my mum that ive had enough of life and she got upset to. Life is awful mate, not sure if i can get through this anymore, really really have had enough.( I'm honestly very sorry that you feel this way. I'm quite young but I have been through hell and back, and I know what that feeling feels like. I haven't really read this whole thread so I don't know all the details. But are you going to therapy? It has helped me loads in dealing with my issues (not just from the BU but from other things as well). You can get through this, it will be a journey but you just gotta strap in and get ready for the ride. Life is beautiful and I know you feel as though it's awful, you seem like a fighter so I have faith that you can get through whatever you're going through. Have a little faith in yourself, you CAN get through this. Sometimes when we feel as though we can't go any further, that is when we truly start to turn our lives around. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 it's ok man, * * * * happens, i felt like that too, not long ago, but you are not a failure, maybe our ex made us feel like a failure in the end, but that's not true. You got to rebuild your self esteem m8. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Hi Mate, Ive just sobbed over my mum for the last 2 hours, im 38 years old and feel like a complete failure, im broken, lost, empty and basically feel like ive had enough, i told my mum that ive had enough of life and she got upset to. Life is awful mate, not sure if i can get through this anymore, really really have had enough. Im sorry to hear about you and thisnew girl Hey man, don't be ashamed of being sad. We're human beings with emotions. I'm honestly hoping after another month or so you start feeling better, so you slowly start moving on. Just remember, it does get better. No matter what, as long as you take care of yourself you WILL heal. It's a true testament to human resilience. Take the time to be sad, cry, whatever. I was broken up over a really short relationship, so don't beat yourself up. Go through the motions, take the good with the bad. You CAN get through it, just try and adopt a more positive outlook on life. Be happy about what you have going for you, the people who are currently in your life and care for you. Stay strong man. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 17, 2011 Author Share Posted April 17, 2011 Fire, Piran, Makeit, Thank-you Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Fire, Piran, Makeit, Thank-you welcome! i have a quote for you : "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals." Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Hang in there Steve, how many weeks now? you going to make it! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 5 mate and I hurt like hell. Lifes not good right now. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 i am starting week 9 wednesday... It gets better after week 6, hang in there, 1 more week... My mother spoke to my ex today, i am not sure i want to know what they talked about... i am worried it might set me back to day 1. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Steve! what is up m8? what's new? How you feeling? I am confused today, i don't know what to do... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 20, 2011 Author Share Posted April 20, 2011 Hi m8, nothing new sadly, ot crying as much these days but when ut hits me which is still everyday it hits really hard, its like a day 1 sob, really deep, really sad, really hurts. Im getting annoyed with always feeling so miserable now, i just wish there was something i could do about it You sound a little down fella, its probably hit you that your mum spoke to your ex, that would hit me for 6 for sure, i guess you can only hope that it was pleasent and that your mum didnt tell her you were struggling at all. I think you should get it off your chest and ask her mate. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 What should i do? i am so confused, yeah it made me sad to know they talked, even more sad to know she was able to talk to my mother, but not able to grab the phone and call me. How long have you been doing no contact now? Yeah you going through a normal stage now, but soon it will hurt less, you going to stop all this pain eventually. I have to admit all this talk about them talking really set me back, i did not know it would have this effect. Today was another sad rainy and cold day and it made me miss her even more. We would cuddle on days like this. Why is life so cruel? why all this pain and misery when we could be with our ex holding them in our arms? i don't understand why this is happening... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 Welcome back to the club buddy, I believe that its not just your mum talking to the ex that's gift you, if I'm honest I think you rushed into the dating thing and put your happiness in that date you had arms. Come heal some more buddy, get everything out and maybe later in the year we can all move on. Always here for you fella. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 yeah it's a weird week, temperature has been cold and gray and rainy and i been down, but i have to work and keep focused. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep and think and then fall asleep again. it's like something is trapped inside of me and i need to talk to her. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 Boy do I know that feeling m8. I nearly text my ex earlier but thankfully I posted and was saved. You know its the wrong thing to do mate, take this pain my friend, remember jonesy computer game analogy. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 yeah it's a weird week, temperature has been cold and gray and rainy and i been down, but i have to work and keep focused. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep and think and then fall asleep again. it's like something is trapped inside of me and i need to talk to her. definitely know the feeling, totally sucks Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 nice to know you guys feel the same, i guess we are human. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 nice to know you guys feel the same, i guess we are human. Yes i guess there are some common links even though we want to believe our situations were special. Everytime i wanted to call or go to my ex's house, i would tell steve and he would tell me "please don't" it brought back my sanity, at those times is where i felt my most vulnerable like i needed him or something. i'll always love him but he sucks!!! Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Stay strong, team! I hear some struggling going on in this thread. Natural ebb and flow of the healing process...don't let it psych you out. Link to comment
Pirandello Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 This has to be the longest thread i have ever been on, it's staying alive, so many people posting, it's awesome, i am glad we all sharing our stories, i feel like breaking NC tonight, it's week number 10. It's hard, i feel like it's been 2 years... it's crazy I am glad we are here to help each other in these rough times... Link to comment
TornTattered Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Pirandello: Breaking NC would be a bad idea. You are definitely not in the right mindset yet for any communication with you ex. When you stop caring, (and you will know when), then maybe contact. But right now, hold off on it. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Pirandello: Breaking NC would be a bad idea. You are definitely not in the right mindset yet for any communication with you ex. When you stop caring, (and you will know when), then maybe contact. But right now, hold off on it. i understand this completely and this is what my ex told me too, but why do you think my ex contacted me when he explicity told me to get out his life??? why would he email me "Still eating at me n hurt n bother over all of this" when he wants to get over me, why would he care to update me? just curious about your thoughts... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hey all, Just gone 5am here, woke after having a dream about her with a new guy It's awful that a great bunch of people (us) are brought together by such tragic circumstances, the old names I see time after time and then a new friend offering support and joining us in our plight to attain peace once more. I'm hoping I'm going to fall back to sleep but first I wanted to come here and hear what everyone has to say, I'm not sure if it is a good or bad thing that I reach for my phone the second I wake. Anyhow, to answer a few comments above, guys we all know that nc is the way, what we forget is why, yes we cling on to hope that they will reach out to us but the real reason we should be doing this is for us, Piran, its been 9 weeks now, don't break now, you're better than that, MissingSparkle, all of our exs gave us hope at some point with what they said to us, please try and forget this, he has made his choice, actions speak louder than words. I'm Saying all of this as I firmly believe it is the right thing to do, you guys know how I'm suffering and so it takes a lot for me to even say these things. Thank-you for the support posts that continue to come in for us all to digest. We are blessed to have each other and this place to turn to. I'm always here for you guys. Steve Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 C H I N U P ! Don't make me bust out the psychedelic emoticons! Link to comment
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