Significant other has good style but bad clothes

[laboheme]

This may sound like the usual "I hate what he wears" question, but this is not the usual "I wish he'd stop wearing sweatshirts" problem. I actually really like his style, and if all of his clothes were in good condition, he'd look amazing. But the things he wears are...well...Socks with holes in them. Stained pants. Shirts that are so old, they are faded and the sleeves are too short. Shirts with missing buttons. Yes, everything is "clean" in the sense that he washes it, but it no longer looks clean, if you know what I mean.

 

It's not that he can't afford new clothes; I realize that some people can't, and that's okay. On the contrary: he drives a nice car, takes me out to very nice dinners, concerts, etc. And the whole time I'm thinking, "We don't need front row seats...let's sit farther back and use the extra money to buy you that very same dress shirt you're wearing tonight, but without armpit stains. And an iron. Absolutely, an iron."

 

Any advice for how to deal with this without being controlling? Or should I just do my best to let it go?

[annie24]

I have no idea. you can always offer to sew buttons on those shirts missing buttons. as for armpit stains, those are almost impossible to get out, even with bleach. there's no point to mend socks, they are so cheap, he can buy new pairs. do you buy him clothes for his birthday and xmas? you can just try to tell him gently that you love his style, but that the clothes are so worn that they're not good anymore for nice events.

[_Asti_]

I buy my guy clothes. Plain and simple.

He won't ever, or rarely spend money on clothes, so when it comes to holidays and birthdays, you can count on me buying stuff for him!

Plus I have no problems pointing out when its time to retire certain clothing, and often time he remarks "Yea, I guess the jeans with holes need to go" and agrees with me, and then we go on the hunt for new pants.

 

It isn't controlling, but in the same sense he really doesn't care and would rather spend money on other things, and if its me having the issue then I have no problem going out and picking him up a few items. Christmas is certainly filled with socks and underwear, even Valentine's day I go for higher end boxer briefs, etc...and then say "Okay, I'm bringing nice stuff in..let's toss some old ones!"

[dramallama]

Perhaps you could recommend the name of a good dry cleaner or volunteer to buy some newer clothes with him. Other than that just accept it as a quirk of his. As long as he has a few outfits that he could go to a family dinner in that are not stained, then it's all good.

[quirky]

If he's got good money maybe ask him to lend you his card and go and buy him stuff.

[Starrgrl]

^ why need to use his money? If you're a girlfriend, you can use your own money to buy him a few shirts right?

[quirky]

^^ yes, but he might feel a bit smothered. Whereas if it's his money he might feel like he took some part in it. I am only suggesting this from the man's point of view mainly, for his own ego.

[MissSMcc]

my ex was the same, the only clothes he owns without paint drips/ ink stains/ glue/ holes etc was stuff i bought him. i don't think your ex would mind if it was a special occasion (going out for dinner etc) and you bought him a nice new shirt. just try not to be insulting, keep the gift giving light, say something like 'i was out shopping, saw this shirt and thought it would look good on you'.

[BriarRose]

I can't imagine what you could say to him without hurting his feelings or offending him. I would probably let it go.