Nicholas...amazing update!

[nicholascrack]

Fantasia,

 

 

I changed in the way that I don't sell drugs anymore, which was a root cause for a lot of our relationship dysfunction. I'm trying to move forward with my life, to make a contribution. I was a plague on society before I got caught. Straight up. I now realize to the full extent, just how much damage I was doing to people's lives.

 

My co-defendant said, this is a fork in the road in our lives. We can go one way, or we can go another. I can get right back into selling crack and pick up where I left off. Or I can advance myself and apply for university and get a legitimate job. I have chosen the latter. This experience is so frustrating. I can go to jail for two years, that's not a problem. I did a crime, I can do the time. I am emotionally prepared for that option. But the break-up is what hits me the most.

 

How do I deal with this bitterness, this need to call her on the phone and lash out? I'm at a loss of words for the whole situation with her.

 

I'm so hurt inside.

[nicholascrack]

My ex's MSN profile used to read, "He makes me so happy I could cry, that hasn't happened in a while," as well as, "My new boyfriend...he's the best and I hope you know it." That crushed me beyond words.

 

Today, I checked it and it read, "One of those lonely, wandering, broken hearted fools walkin' around out there with no where to go...BOYS ARE AWFUL.

Unless we get back together by some happy miracle, I'm not doin' this again for another year. I can't do this anymore!!"

 

So, I called her up. We had a very good chat. We're planning on going out to the club tonight. All it took was time and no contact. It was difficult with the other man in the picture, but someone has a very good quote for their signature, about passion and flames. If you had a strong relationship, you have nothing to worry about with another guy around. We're not together yet, but the guy is out the picture and we're talking all the time. Thank-you for all the advice. Hopefully things work out. If it's meant to be, it will.

 

I'll keep you posted. We'll use this chance to catch up and build an already strong friendship. The only obstacles: her friends hate me, so does her mom. lol....It's gonna be an uphill battle.

 

Nicholas

[fantasia2004]

it is a slow but interesting beginning

[nicholascrack]

We decided to catch a movie tonight instead. We went and saw, "Collateral." It was quite thrilling. Anyways, I dropped her off at her car and when we said goodbye, we were both overcome with emotion. We held eachother for a long time, not saying anything. We each knew what the other wanted to say, but we barely spoke a word. I really care about this girl. It killed me to see the pain that this new guy, as well as I, caused her. I wished I could have taken it all away and made it mine.

 

We left on a very positive note. It was an enormous sense of healing. At this point, it doesn't even matter if we get back together (well it does), but I really want what's best for her. That's why I have to change and become a better man. She really deserves the best.

 

Nicholas

[shockeddismayed]

Nicholas,

 

Those are some very selfless words.... congrats on being able to give so freely.

 

Good luck on your journey... it will be a tough, but rewarding one.

 

S&D

[nicholascrack]

Now that my ex, Hilary, and I are hanging out lots, I'm trying to develop a strategy. We have been together almost everyday, going to the beach, going for dinner, watching movies, and have enjoyed our time together. Sometimes we cuddle together and hold hands. It really has become a warm friendship.

 

Now, what are some things that I can do to not become the "best-friend"? Everytime we hang together, it builds and strenghthens our bond. But I'm worried about becoming just good friends.

 

Do you guys have any tips on how to avoid that? Anyone know what I'm talking about?

 

Sincerely,

 

Nicholas

[nicholascrack]

Things are going amazingly well with my ex and I. We have hung out so much after I called her up. She wants to spend all this time with me, and suggests things to do together. I've made a point of ditching my friends from time to time to hang out with her, which looks really impressive.

 

She's sleeping over for the weekend. I'm wondering what to do. I don't really want to make a physical move on her; I feel that might cement a lot of our feelings and I want to let it be known where my heart is. I also don't want to look like a sleaze-hound.

 

Help me out ladies, what's the right thing to do?

[mamamaria]

i think you should ley her make her desicion on her own and respect it. if she comes back to you, make sure to show her your appreciation and remorse for what you did. make it up to her, in a good way. if she doesnt come back, respect that...maybe it is too much for her to go through and shes scared something bad could happen again..understandable. you did something out of line as far as love is concerned...its awesome that you realize that though...alot of people dont. i hope your sentence isnt too bad. anyway, goodluck, and try to let her do this on her own.

[nicholascrack]

Wow. It has been a long time since I've been on here. If anyone remembers what happened, I got into a lot of trouble with the law and ended up losing my girlfriend of 3.5 years because of some poor decisions.

 

Anyways, the charges were miraculously dropped in March. I was facing THREE YEARS but for some reason the case was thrown out before it even went to trial. I am continuously humbled by those events.

 

My ex has moved on and so have I. What was so difficult at the time is now easily manageable. I thought I had lost everything. When you are 22 and facing three years in jail, your girlfriend (almost fiance) leaves you, your life seems hopeless. I even considered suicide and checked myself into the hospital one night when it got too much to handle. Thank God I didn't do anything stupid.

 

It just goes to show that there is life after the ex. What seems impossible is not really that impossible at all. Hopefully I can share my experiences with everyone here. A lot of people were very supportive and so it is my turn to do the same.

 

Thank you!

 

Nicholas

[shockeddismayed]

Wow!

 

Nicholas! Great to see you have recovered so well!!!! You must be very proud of your own recovery. Take it with you and use it as a way to continually affect positive change in your life. Congrats again!

 

There are many people who will read this update and feel sad (about their own prospects of getting back together). If you are one of them, realize that you need to let go of the idea that happiness is only possible with your EX. Commit to your own happiness first.... then let the rest follow and it will.

[fantasia2004]

my sentiments exactly nicholas!

 

I am happy for you.

[DI93]

i read your story. It is was amazing. I am happy for you. U sound like a great guy (except for the drugh thing), but everyone makes mistakes. Good luck. I hope your going to school; do something great.

[fantasia2004]

you wait and see!

 

Now even if you do not want to be with your ex anymore she will see the changes in you and would be surprised that you are doing better than her from bouncing back from your troubled past . Good things come to those who wait

 

peace and love sweets!