Nicholas...amazing update!

[nicholascrack]

Hi everyone,

 

I have to start off by saying how helpful a lot of this advice has been already. I have heard some amazing things, and have tried to put them into practise already.

 

I'll start off by telling you a bit about myself and my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I am twenty-one years old. I met my ex-girlfriend three years ago. We had an amazing time together. We shared an intense passion for music, something that will bond us together for a long time. Recently, six months ago, I was approached by some friends to start selling drugs. I talked it over with my ex, and she was obviously very resistant to that idea. We said we would give it a shot.

 

The money changed me instantly. I bought a brand new car, wore the hottest clothes and suddenly put her on the back burner. We broke up several times, got back together.

 

It wasn't until three weeks ago, that my whole world came crashing down on me. I was arrested and charged. This was a shock to a lot of people. I am honestly remorseful. I messed up a lot of lives just to make money. My ex was there to stand by me the whole time. We had begun to become intimate again. Then, much to my shock, I saw her at the club with another guy, holding hands. Two days before, she was with me in the courtroom as I made my plea. I flew off the handle.

 

Needless to say, I did a lot of damage. We had some pretty harsh words on the phone, she made it clear that we'll never get back together again. She is already going out with a guy after meeting him four days ago. I feel hurt because of the timing. I'm 21 facing 2.5 years of jail, and that's when she decides to leave me? She was with me while I was on top, but left me when I hit the bottom...

 

What are some of your thoughts?

[k33]

I hope you don't have to do time, I hope it was soft drugs too... because the hard ones reall f people up.. Lots of times people want the best but not the worst. Richer and poorer sounds good when it is richer. yah know?

 

When do you get senteneced? I hope she is there for you. People can be such a pain in the a!!. if you know what I mean.

[nicholascrack]

Regretably, it was crack-coccaine. The hard part is not knowing what's going to happen. The legal system takes a long time to get its wheel's running.

 

My ex and I are in constant communication. But she's still spending time with this other guy, whom I almost got into a fight with on the weekend, but didn't, because I didn't want to breach my probation. We're meeting to go see my lawyer tomorrow.

 

A lot of the reason she is wary of hanging out with me is because she is worried she'll go back to me. A lot of your posts gave me an upper hand and I feel so happy that I read them. I was confident and stopped pleading and begging altogether! I now appear stronger than ever, but am quick to admit that she is to thank for a lot of that support. Just the timing to get a new boyfriend is so harsh on me.

[benqburner]

Nicholas,

 

What a terrible time for someone to leave you! It must be very difficult to cope. How are you handling it, with all the stress going around you? I know selling drugs is terribly wrong, but you sound remorseful, which is a good step.

 

How have you kind of dealt with this other guy? Are you still contacting your ex on a regular basis?

[nicholascrack]

Hey benq,

 

It is a pretty difficult time right now, I'll admit. A lot of my friends who were with me when I was ballin, don't seem to ever want to hang out anymore, even though I helped them out a lot. Selling drugs is something I'm not proud of, and I'm ready for the consequences.

 

She went with me to see the lawyer today. I appreciated her presense. It gave me a lot of strength. With everything happening, I almost got choked up in the waiting room when I was with her. I was just getting overwhelmed with emotion. We ate together, saw my probation officer, etc. It was a romantic afternoon. LOL!!

 

She is wary of hanging out with me, as I mentioned before, because she doesn't want to fall back in love with me. She tells me she loves me still, but not like that. Although she is seeing someone else and already making out with him, I'm pretty confident. I keep joking about having a "four-year plan like Stalin to get her back."

 

We have lots of contact, I'm the first person and the last person she calls each night. But I try to make the encounters comfortable and stress-free. The other guy thing doesn't really bother me. She is moving pretty fast with him. I kind of interpret that as a need to immediately replace me. What do you guys think? I'm just trying to be cool and a good friend.

 

Thanks for your concern, Benq

[outrageousxo]

ha well i was in the same situation my ex was a drug dealer

and let me tell you maybe you deserve this cuz you were being greedy and chose money over love.

shame on you

i feel so sorry for your ex.. but i dont blame her

[outrageousxo]

I'm 21 facing 2.5 years of jail, and that's when she decides to leave me? She was with me while I was on top, but left me when I hit the bottom...

 

that is really selfish of you to say. hmm have you ever put yourself in HER shoes..

cuz i think it would go something like this...

ive been with him and i am in love with him.. all of a sudden he gets carried away being a hustler, and forgets about what really matters.

 

that must of hurt her but you were too stuck in your ways to even acknowledge what she was going through.

you werent there for her instead you were to busy making your money so why should she be there for you. YOU ARE LUCKY shes even talking to you. cuz i wouldnt. and no other girl in her right mind would

 

hate to say it but maybe you deserve this cuz you seem like the type to only appreciate something once its gone.

 

greediness isnt attractive

 

 

now all i can say is admit that you were wrong and selfish and be sorry about it and prove it.

[nicholascrack]

outrageousxo,

 

I gotta tell you, I really respect your point of view. As you know, having a relationship with someone when he or she is in that line of work is definitely hard. I'm not proud of what I did. It's the life that I chose. If you do the crime, you do the time, and that is something that I'm willing to accept.

 

You say things like, "maybe you deserve this cuz you were being greedy and chose money over love. shame on you." Well, I'm not going to beat around the . I stopped wanting bush and make excuses, but when my friends approach me, some of whom have three cars and a bike, to get in on this, it was hard for me to say no. I talked it over with my ex, said I was only going to do it for a while (famous words, as you probably know). We agreed to give it a try. There are many conflicts when you live that life. My ex kept on complaining and saying that it was "wrong." My friends have basically given me the power to make ten g's a month. I'd buy my ex Burberry this, Gucci that, gave her money all the time, but after a while I got tired of her double-standard. She'd complain, but would love to go shopping with me. I'm risking my life for this. That's when things changed. I started to resent her. We break up, but still hang out lots.

 

Which brings me up to three weeks ago. I get busted, she goes to my house, grabs my money, you know, ties up all my loose ends for me, drives my mercedes in someone's garage in case it would get seized. I stopped hanging with my friends and devoted a lot of my time to her.

 

I was a good boyfriend, the best, some would say. This drug money changed me. I'm sorry. I wish I never got into it. I feel like an idiot. But that's what I chose. But there was a commitment before and after all of this. Its rich, poor. Free, incarcerated. I'd never do what she did. And I hope you wouldn't either.

 

Nicholas

[nicholascrack]

Just out of curiosity, outrageousxo, what happened in your relationship, if you don't mind me asking?

 

Thanks.

 

Nicholas

[outrageousxo]

ill private message you

[outrageousxo]

i am telling you the court system will cut alot of slack when it comes to your case. they tell you that you are heading to jail but you wont be. they tell that to everyone who has been found with class A-D drugs.

most likely youll have strict supervised probabtion but that doesnt mean to start selling again. it took my ex around a year(and lots of court hearings) for the court to finally reach an agreement.

 

and ive had my fair share of court cases- no matter what the charge even if its not from drugs its only the principle that they tell you how much time you are facing.

 

you will be ok with or without her your an adult now be responsible for your actions..

[nicholascrack]

I could get house arrest, I could get 2.5 years. It all depends. It'll be a while before I'll be able to find out.

 

We had a fight. I tried to say that I was going to two certain clubs tonight, and that it would be dumb if her and her new beau and his crew showed up. Last time there were problems. I don't want to screw up my probation because of something stupid. I thought I was in my right mind to say, hey, this is my future, let's not endanger it with something stupid. Well, she took it the wrong way.

 

I'm just trying to say, the last times we've bumped heads, we've almost scrapped. I care about my future and want to prevent that. I just want to be responsible and mature, not give an opportunity for something to happen. Now this no contact thing must begin. We'll see how that goes. I'm pretty skeptical. We didn't leave on good terms.

 

Nicholas

[outrageousxo]

hey deffinetly dont start trouble that is gonna intefer with your current probabtion.. ya house arrest is could be an option but maybe you will get locked up for a while if you get in trouble .. it doesnt look good to the court system ya know but goodluck

 

its not worth it- youll just look jealous

and this is between you and her. not you and him.

[nicholascrack]

Well, after a few days of no contact, I'm kind of at a crossroads. I'm never one to give up, we've gotten back together three times in our three year relationship. This time is such a big hurdle. I changed so much in the course of the past six months. We've both done a lot of damage to our relationship and friendship.

 

I've got no intent on seeing other girls right now. The thought of that alone makes me feel a little sick. My only coping mechanism would be to put my head down and go make some money. Sometimes the only thing that would cheer me up is a new set of rims on my car.

 

It's not about giving up, it's about changing focus. Time to get started with my life again. I would always be ready to go back to her anytime. But in the meantime, there's too much money out there.

 

Nicholas

[benqburner]

nicholas,

 

Ben here. How has it been going? I've been thinking about you lately. I can't help but be interested in your story, young guy going to jail, his girlfriend leaves him. It sounds like a tumultuous time, to say the least.

 

You mention that you've been doing the no contact thing. hows that goign for you? whats been happening ont he legal front?

 

 

Ben

[fantasia2004]

I hope this experience really teaches something from all this.?

[nicholascrack]

Benqburner,

 

 

I have always been a fighter, I have always been an optimist. As far as the legal issues, I'm confident that if I show that I've turned my life around, then I should have no worries. I'm not going to be counted out because of this. I made a mistake, but I still have two legs, two arms and a family that loves me.

 

The girl, now thats a different story. As I've mentioned, she started messing around on me, at one point I saw her at the bar with the guy. So it was a harsh break-up, I left saying some very harsh things. We've had no contact, however, today I was really hurt when she got her mother to drop off all of my things. That was kind of a slap in the face, and I was deeply troubled by it. This no contact thing is really hard. She's got a new guy and everything, and there are a lot of things troubling me about the whole situation. But, as many have advised, all you can do is make improvements in your life and hopefully people will see the changes.

 

I will learn from this!!

 

Nicholas

[nicholascrack]

Lewis,

 

I gotta admit, I feel like I'm one of the only persons that is having this problem right now. I'm 21, young, and I feel all alone. So it was incredibly inspiring to read your post. Sometimes it feels so hopeless, to get on the right track again. I'm glad you have a career job and are legit. That means it is possible to get on track. And not having to worry about who is around the corner is reassuring, to say the least.

 

I want to go on to be a pianist. The past three weeks have been instrumental (funny pun). I have been practising my craft to get my mind off of everything. In some ways, it is almost a Godsend, because this allows me to shape up!!

[benqburner]

What exactly are you being charged with nicholas, if you don't mind me asking?

[nicholascrack]

Well, benq, I've been charged with five counts:

 

Two (2) counts of trafficking a controlled substance (cocaine) under three kilograms.

 

Possession of a controlled substance (cocaine), with intent to traffic, with an amount not exceeding three kilograms.

 

Possession of a weapon detremental to the public peace

 

Possession of stolen property, or proceeds of crime....

 

 

 

...sigh...those are kind of a summary of the charges.

 

Nicholas

[benqburner]

wow. possession under three kilograms of cocaine? That sounds like its pretty serious man. What kind of punishment are you facing?

 

Ben

[nicholascrack]

Well, you see benq, it sounds a lot more serious than it is. The police are essentially trying to throw the book at me. Three kilograms sells for roughly ninety thousand dollars in my city. Ninety to one hundred thousand. At the beginning of the night, I left with two thousand dollars worth of dope.

 

Its one of those laws, where, if you rob a bank for twenty dollars, you'll still be charged with Robbery under $5,000.

 

The weapon is an exacto knife, that was part of a survival kit.

 

The trafficking, they can't even prove because we did not make a direct sale to a police officer. They just saw us walk into someone's house. That will get thrown out, along with the weapon.

 

The possession and the proceeds of crime are what's really going to hit us hard. Canada's judicial system is quite lax, and I have a clean record. It all depends on what deal my lawyer can make with the Crown.

 

 

Nicholas

[priscilla]

Hi nick!

 

 

If a girl wants to wear expensive clothes that you've bought her with drug money, then leave you when you get arrested, why would you even want to win her back? I've read the posts, you seem to be at fault, however, it sounds like she liked all the money and attention.

 

If she leaves you at your most difficult time, what do you think would happen if you were married and you lost your job?

 

Does anyone agree with me? Nick was wrong to get involved in this life, but what kind of person leaves someone at a time like this?

 

It's deplorable!

 

PK

[nicholascrack]

Hey all,

 

 

This no-contact thing is really driving me crazy. I am becoming so bitter towards it. She hasn't talked to me in over two weeks. No, "How was your court date?" No, "How are you holding up, Nicholas." This is really bothering me, and I'm not sure how to take it.

 

If and when she contacts me, it is going to be difficult to remain a level of civility.

 

I feel so low and insignificant. My ex doesn't even care about my fate...

 

 

Hurt and bitter,

 

Nicholas

[fantasia2004]

I know she has left you but have you fully actually changed ? You can't just say it but you must show not only for her but mainly for yourself.