bostonbruins44 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I've been swapping texts all day with her. She also wants to watch me play golf ! This isn't what I expected. I like it, it's cool. Even to be friends with her would be cool. No,no,you don't want to be her friend..You have strong romantic feelings for this woman ..I could see remaining friends after you have moved on emotionally and have your sights set on someone else but you don't want to waste a lot of time on someone who turned down your offer to go to a movie. Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I've been swapping texts all day with her. She also wants to watch me play golf ! This isn't what I expected. I like it, it's cool. Even to be friends with her would be cool. Ask her out to a movie again and see how she responds. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Hi boston She is encouraging me isn't she ? And the golf thing (which she started !) is a bit odd. While I do have strong romantic feelings for her, to ignore her texts would be a bit silly. She is only the 3rd person to know my mobile number for example. I don't have alot of friends. None really. I talk to people at work on facebook but I never usually see them outside of work. This texting is new to me. Nobody at work have given me their numbers. I don't know where this is going. There are 3 options I suppose: (1) She becomes my girlfriend (2) We become friends (3) We lose touch - I would hate option 3, if option 1 doesn't happen then settling for option 2 wouldn't be that bad. Maybe this texting will lead to a meet up. At worst here I am building a group of friends I suppose. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 I felt great yesterday. She answered a question about me on facebook and 'liked' one of my comments. I also sent an email to my brother and told him everything. He is older than me and has had dozens of girlfriends. He said she obviously likes you, ask her out for a meal or something. Today I feel crap. I sent her a text, which contained a little joke and a 'really missing you' comment. She hasn't replied to it yet. I know I'm acting stupid but I can't seem to help it. I am always questioning whether I can do things. She gave me her number less than a week ago and I'm wondering 'can I text her ?', 'how many times is ok ?', is saying 'really missing you' too much ?? - Have I offended her ? Shall I text her again next week ? It's just irrational. I shouldn't be like this. But I am. Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Let her come to you ,it appears that she is.Don't go overboard with texts and the like ,respond minimally .If things continue as they are I would say she is definitely interested. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 When I got in from work, she had sent a text. A nice one. Then on facebook we shared a few comments. I think from now on I will send a text a week, something like that. Nothing too much. I can put things like 'really missing you' and get away with it. I hope I see her again. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 More drama ! I was working today, walking around the shop and the office door opened and she walked out. I couldn't believe it ! I rushed over to her and we said 'hi' to each other. I wanted to hug her but I didn't. And then it clicked with me. She had sent a text saying she had some training to do and I presumed it was in her shop. But it was in ours ! So we go in the back and have a chat. I ask her what she's been upto. She then asks me if I've met the new supervisor (her replacement). I tell I haven't met her yet. She then says, 'I'm really jealous of her because she gets to work with you !' Anyway we carry on chatting, she tells me about going swimming and then she says,' we are going to golf in the summer as well remember. I will be your caddie !' - So I say, You serious ?' - she says, 'yes' and then tells me that she went jogging and went by the golf course. She said she saw some golfers and wondered to herself if I was there. I suggest to her that we could go to the golf driving range and I could teach her how to play. She laughs and says, 'that will be a laugh' So I go back to work and when I'm leaving I bump into her and we say goodbye. She says, 'I'll text you' I'm trying to put a negative slant on this, I always do. But it seems she is a bit jealous of me maybe liking her replacement and not her. She is serious in watching me play golf and she thinks about me. Unless she is been ultra nice to a guy who likes her. Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 It sounds great!! See what may happen because you took the plunge and asked her out..Well done!! Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 I wasn't aware I was asking her out to be honest. The golf invite was just natural since waiting until the summer is daft. I sent her a text saying how 'great' it was to see her again. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 I've been thinking about this. (Like I always am !) Am I reading too much into it ? The way she was in the week she left. The crying and everything she said to me: She could have been like that with everyone. She could have cried in front of others, she could have hugged others and she could have said 'she enjoyed working with you' to everybody. I think she probably did. It is sensible to think so. Which means although she likes me, I'm not that special to her. But yesterday, the exchange about her replacement: Which was: Her : Have you met Gemma yet ? Me : No, Not yet. Her: Do you know I'm jealous of her because she gets to work woth you and I don't I think I responded by saying 'you flatterer' or something like that. Now everything else; the golf thing, the thinking about me could be her just been nice. She is been nice to the guy who has a crush on her. That makes sense. But that jealous thing ? I can't think of another meaning to that other than what she actually said. She wasn't joking either, she wasn't smiling. She was looking down. Does a woman who has already turned a guy say that to him ? I told my Dad what she said and he said 'funny woman' In my last text, I said, 'it was great seeing you again' - She hasn't replied to it yet. I never know what is too much or what is too little. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 a few spellings mistakes in that: It should say .. because she gets to work WITH you and I don't and Does a woman who has already turned DOWN a guy say that to him ? Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 a few spellings mistakes in that: It should say .. because she gets to work WITH you and I don't and Does a woman who has already turned DOWN a guy say that to him ? I guess there is really only one way to find out..Within the next week or two you should ask her out again..What is her status ?Is she still going out with that other guy? Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 My brother keeps saying that, ring her up and ask her out. He just has more confidence than me. I am not sure if she is going out with anybody, she hasn't said anything. I am pretty sure they wasn't another guy when she turned me down. It was just a line she came up with to let me down gently. I don't think she is a tease or playing games either. The golf thing in the summer, she mentioned it again to me yesterday and I said 'are you serious ?' - she said 'yes' - So she is willing to do that with me. Why did I say summer ? God damm ! I know I should get on with my life and treat her as a text buddie / friend but it is difficult. I seem to go through phases, I'm in the dumps when I don't hear from her and then I'm thinking all sorts when I do. It seems clear she doesn't answer her texts straight away. (She probably gets loads a day I suppose) - I'm planning to send maybe one a week, that doesn't seem too many. And I suppose I will send them until she tells me not to. I sometimes think she is exactly the same as me with regards to feelings and always wondering what I mean to her. That does sort of explain her 'jealously' remark. She is thinking I will become friends with her replacement and forget about her. Maybe she doesn't want to go out with me but likes the fact I like her ! Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Maybe you could send her a text explaining your point of view..Personally I would find it hard to be her ''friend'' if I had romantic feelings for her that weren't going to happen ..I would be keeping my distance.Ask her out again [via text] and see what happens.If she turns you down, I would be looking for someone else. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 Yes your right. Trouble is women who are nice to me / give me their numbers don't come around often. If I ask her out I would lose everything. I know I'm kidding myself saying 'friends is ok' but at least it's something. Maybe the texts will develop until we naturally do something together. I did ask her to the golf driving range. I didn't get nervous doing it and she didn't seem offended either. (She did bring up the subject !) None of the others at work have offered me their mobile numbers. It's just facebook stuff. There are a couple of interesting single women at work as well. I suppose in a way I have got further will this woman than any other woman for years ! Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Yes your right. Trouble is women who are nice to me / give me their numbers don't come around often. If I ask her out I would lose everything. I know I'm kidding myself saying 'friends is ok' but at least it's something. Maybe the texts will develop until we naturally do something together. I did ask her to the golf driving range. I didn't get nervous doing it and she didn't seem offended either. (She did bring up the subject !) None of the others at work have offered me their mobile numbers. It's just facebook stuff. There are a couple of interesting single women at work as well. I suppose in a way I have got further will this woman than any other woman for years ! Since she turned you down ,maybe you could test the waters and casually ask her if she knows any girlfriends who might be interested in you.It might be a good way to see how she feels and kind of clarify if she has visions of you romantically or just as a friend. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 That could be a good idea, I will let you know what happens ! Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 I just have a policy of not asking her difficult questions. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I am so confused, I don't know if she's really into me or not. I'm always thinking she will stop sending texts to me because I don't mean that much to her. Yet I think about what she said yesterday and think she was encouraging me. She's jealous of another woman who is going to be working with me. Wouldn't it be in her interests for me to move on and think about other women ? I just think the whole thing is nuts ! Link to comment
thejigsup Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Ask her out! You can ponder, question, surmise, all day long, but you won't get an answer unless you ask!!! Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 I did, jigsup and she said 'no' - she had just met somebody. That was at xmas. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Jigsup - I asked her using Facebook. I really crap way of asking her I know. I just dropped in a casual 'do you want to go to the cinema ?' in a xmas day message. She answered back 'it would have been nice but can't go because she has met somebody' - Neither of us have mentioned it since and her attitude didn't change. Everything on this thread has happened since. I just can't stop thinking about what she said on Saturday: The jealous remark. I know I should have asked her what she meant but I was that embarrassed to be honest. I've had no contact since and she hasn't been on facebook. I sent her a text and said, 'it was great to see you again' - I'm thinking now was that too much, is she offended by that ? But then again she made all those comments to me which are far worse. I don't know whether to make my texts a bit more risky. She told me she was thinking about me. Should I say the same ?? Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'm starting to wish I hadn't seen her on Saturday. It's just messing with my head, I am so stressed. Why did she have to say those things ? I don't think it did me any favours. I can't sleep, don't feel like eating. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 I guess I will have to start doing others things to occupy myself until she shows up again. Link to comment
putter65 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 panic over. Wonder when I will grow up ? Link to comment
Coverage Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Sorry it didn't work out for you. You did take a big step in asking her out and developing a connection, so that is something that you should try to gain some confidence and satisfaction out of. I'm sure it will be very hard but its now time to start moving on emotionally, and just keep reminding yourself that you gave it your best shot but it just wasn't going to work out between the two of you. You seem to still be holding out hope that something will occurs between you two, but look at it logically. She's turned you down for a date twice already and she has a boyfriend to boot. There is absolutely no reason you should put your life on halt to wait on her. It will just continue to tear you up inside. You can still obviously be friends with her, but I'd advise scaling back on the contact you have with her just to help you move on, because it could be a lot harder on your emotions if you are constantly swapping texts and facebook comments every other day. Best of luck to you. Link to comment
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