Inhibited by "what-if" thinking

[im rly mad]

For a while I thought my primary battle was with depression. But I've thought a lot about how and why I think the way I do, and it seems as if I lack enjoyment out of most things because I'm usually too busy thinking about something else.

 

I guess it's a matter of bringing myself to the present, but at the same time it hurts my decision making... I'm afraid to make decisions because I'm afraid of making a wrong decision. Which is irrational, because there is absolutely no way to determine how something will end up without an event actually occurring.

 

I'll try to watch a movie or play a game and I'll think, "I should be doing x and y," but really what I should be doing is not thinking about that and just paying attention to what I'm doing. But I feel like I always slip back to this, and it stresses me out.

 

I want to try anti-anxiety medication- Buspar to be exact- because my psych was telling me that it is a relatively harmless medication. What other things can I do to prevent myself from slipping into a tornado of thoughts? I've tried a lot of traditional meditation and awareness techniques, but they don't really seem to provide any long-term effects unless I'm consciously forcing myself to be present.

[Fudgie]

I think the medication may help as well as CONSTANT, and I mean CONSTANT reinforcement of positive thinking, to get rid of those thoughts.

 

"what if" thinking is the worst. It's spiritually and mentally unproductive and harmful. Why? Because it makes you go into "thought circles" which are fruitless, as you said. "What ifs" are essentially useless, "junk" thoughts that allow you to deny reality. They are the springboard on which you jump into a whole world of possibilities that don't exist and are a waste of your time.

 

Have you tried the "rubber band" method? Keep one on your wrist and snap yourself with it when you have negative "What if" thoughts, then reinforce yourself with a positive thought "I can handle this. I can do this..."

[TidalWave]

Seems to me that what you're missing is a dream or goal you would pursuit in your life. Thoughts that are not put into use are useless and without something to go after, you're just stuck with a lot of thoughts that go in vain. When things you are doing become part of the plan, you won't have thoughts of anything else. You'll sort your thoughts in line and like a marching army they'll advance forward.

 

I had similar issue as you, so let me give you an example. My friends go to disco a lot, and sometimes I came along thinking 'we're gonna have a great time', but the instant I got there, I was pissed and thinking 'bah, what am I doing here, I should be home practising my guitar, or riding motorbike in the streets of midnight city'. Those thoughts told me what I would be enjoying and that in fact I'm wasting my time being at the disco.... Fast forward a few months, I go to the disco and I have a great time. What has changed? Well, I was thinking a lot about which direction I want to take my life, and I have solid idea now. The part of my 'plan' is to get to know more people, socialize a lot more and eventually find my life's partner. Disco is a perfect place to start talking to people and getting to know them and not only because they're usually drunk. Going to parties has become part of the plan.

 

So I suggest you think about where you wanna take your life first, when you have and like the idea, go for it. And use your thoughts to guide you and get over any struggle you meet on the way to achieving your goal.