What am I doing wrong!?

[VtecQueen]

I've been single for over 2 years. Been on more dates than I can count on my fingers and toes twice and no luck with anything.

 

I'm pretty independent. Own place, car, 3 jobs, no kids. I don't think I'm too picky but these guys I run into just want to come hang out at my house or me come to their house. What ever happened to going out on dates? Since when do we skip to chilling at the house. I don't even know them well enough for all that. Or they want me to drive to where they are so we can hang by their house. What happened to "ok great I'll pick u up at 7"

 

I just want a man to be a man. I may be independent but that changes nothing but the fact that I can hold my own. Its just disappointment after disappointment. Dude after dude just wanting sex or nothing serious. Its aggrivating!

 

Don't want to settle but sometimes being alone sucks! Am I doing something wrong?? The ones I like don't like me and the ones I don't like won't leave me alone. I try to play the game with the dudes I like but it still fails! What to do??

[SapphireNoir10]

I doubt your doing anything wrong. Its just finding the right guy for you, that can take a long time. It will happen. The best things in life are truly worth waiting for.

[savignon]

This is going to sound LAME but only when I met my husband did it make sense that I was single for so long. I really think I'm meant to be with *him* in particular and I hadn't met him yet so that's why I dated half my county (online, via friends, out and about...I did it all) and couldn't find anyone. It wasn't that I was doing anything wrong....I just hadn't met him yet.

Now it all makes sense to me looking back, but I sound like one of those lame people that tell stories like this

[dedem]

I'm pretty independent.

I just want a man to be a man. I may be independent but that changes nothing but the fact that I can hold my own.

 

Ach, and here is your problem. 'Real men' (quotes because to me, they're all a bunch of narcissists who flatter themselves on their appearance/ability) don't want a woman who can hold their own. They want to be the strong, independent one. They're also a bit intimidated by your manner and although they respect you, sleeping with and caring about a woman who could easily turn him into a crybaby is unnerving. So what are you left with? The actual babies, the men who don't like commitment, who'd rather have sex with a strong woman who can take control and who won't slump into a depression if he leaves. Men like this make up a good 60-70% of the population, they both need and don't need a woman to tell them what's what.

 

Your best bet is to go with a softie who cares about everything except himself, who will let you take the reigns happily and be fine with you being the strong one in the relationship. If you play your cards right you'll wind up with a man who will bend over backwards to return the favor of you being the one in charge.

 

It may also be where you're looking, or the type of men you like. Just keep trying, you're bound to find someone. Adjust your swimming pool as well so that you can find more fish, there may be a man in a place/type you'd never think to look who's just right.

[torontonotes]

Amen- once you find out, let me know!

[Lovelace]

A quick 'Same here!' from me. I guess it makes sense that it's so hard to find someone good for us, though. The good news is, you only need one. The bad news being that there are several billion people on the planet. It's like finding a needle buried under a mountain.

[IsThisIt]

Don't agree to go to their house. Instead say something like "well, I think it would be fun instead to go out for some indian food" (or bowling or whatever). If you meet a guy and he's like "let's meet up in my apartment" and you say yes, you are communicating to him that you want him to think of you as a sex partner and not a girlfriend.