Am I afraid of being alone??

[InaDaze87]

Im 23 years old and have only been in 2 long term serious relationships. The first was 4 yrs that lasted until about my 2nd year in college. The most recent was exactly 2yrs and recently ended back in October of this year. The thing is I jumped into the 2nd relationship only about 9 months of being broken up with my high school sweetheart. The second relationship was much more intense and I loved even harder in those 2 years that I ever dreamed I could again in the 4 years prior.

 

Now I'm a very picky guy when it comes to dating or even talking to a girl, and I have never just dated around...I actually never had the desire to. I just stumbled up on 2 really great girls and ran with it so to speak.

 

But a friend and I were talking and she happens to think that I might be afraid of being alone because I kinda just jumped from one serious relationship to the next in a matter of months( about 10 months). This friend just so happens to be the high school sweetheart that I left for the more recent relationship that just ended.

 

Anyway..how would I know if I am really afraid of being alone or not. I mean I have honestly never thought about it before. Are there signs?

[SA_Guy99]

"Only" 2 serious relationships at 23? I would say you're well ahead of the game. I'm 26 and have yet to start dating for various reasons. Don't feel bad.

[InaDaze87]

"Only" 2 serious relationships at 23? I would say you're well ahead of the game. I'm 26 and have yet to start dating for various reasons. Don't feel bad.

 

I guess my friend just got the wheels turning when she mentioned it all to me. I mean when I look at it from the outside looking in I would probably say the same thing about myself. But i have never felt like i was afraid of being alone before nor do i feel that way now...

[Jd1983]

I wouldn't necessarily say that you're afraid of being alone.

 

There is never a set time limit on how long it takes you to move on. 10 months to you may seem like a short time frame, but to others it may just be the right time to move on.

 

Not to judge or anything - but you're taking the advice from your friend (who was also your high school sweetheart)? Of course they would see things differently and assume that you're lonely.

 

Signs? Do you feel the need to have someone at the very moment?

 

I can speak based on personal experience. I don't like being alone, and quite frankly the longest I'd ever been alone was 2 months from the time I was 14. I've been in relationships back to back, if I wasn't in a relationship I was dating someone. I liked having someone there at the moment and at that point, I really didn't care if it was rebound or not.

 

If you're 23, and you've only had 2 relationships, I'd say that you're doing pretty good.

[Capricorn3]

i have never felt like i was afraid of being alone before nor do i feel that way now...

^^ There ya go. You answered your own question. Clearly it's not a problem with you and your ex was probably reflecting her own feelings about the subject.

So NO, I don't believe you are afraid of being alone. You sound pretty stable to me.

[InaDaze87]

no offense taken....the only person I want to be with is the ex i just had the break up with but I know now isnt a good time plus we still have a ton of things to work on individually as well as between us. other than that I dont feel the need to have anyone around. I mean other than fighting the urge to run out and be a reckless man * * * * * with every woman possible to mask the pain of not having "her"...lol but i know thats not the best thing to do. I honestly dont see how you can constantly date people back to back...just my 2 relationship alone have been exhausting enough to make me never want to date again!! ](*,)

[courtney06]

I don't think 10 months is bad at all. When my ex broke up with me, he was with a girl two weeks after he left me. It took me 6 months to get over most of our relationship. It's been 8 months since breakup and if I were to start dating someone right now it wouldn't feel too soon at all. I'm 20 and only had 2 serious relationships. I don't like being alone but I also appreciate being single most of the time because I know how depressed I get after breakups. It's ok to be picky because if you weren't you'd be desperate and date anyone just because you don't want to be alone. So I think you being picky and not having the desire to date around doesn't sound like you are afraid of being alone. You just know what you want. Your fear of being alone is fine and it doesn't sound severe. Most people feel like that at some point.