Can I get him back?

[MakeItCount]

Don't play wow. It'll drain your life away hahah. You can try the Sims, never been a big fan. Occupy yourself with whatever feels good.

 

The thing is, you can stop yourself. It'll just take a hell of a lot of willpower. Like I said, you're acting on emotions, and those tend to make us do things we normally wouldn't. Incredibly hard to stop. Just keep thinking to yourself that anything you do now will only make things worse. Read SuperDave's posts, they're very inspiring. And try to get some sleep

[generaldiscord]

Hey, I'm sorry you feel bad, especially so close to the holidays!

 

You probably shouldn't drink, and nobody should drink alone.

 

It seems that when you were bringing him his stuff, you were acting the part of 'girlfriend who is definitely not interested in working things out', and once you got home, you started playing the part of 'girlfriend who has been horribly hurt and doesn't want to be ignored'. If you want to work on things, you have to be more consistent. Don't overreact, don't underreact, just do things in a more logical way.

[MuscleSpasm]

well, he had already broken up with me over the phone and when I went to the place to give him back his stuff, he was already waiting outside. Seemed like he wanted to hurry it up and get it over with.

 

So, I've spent 20 hours in bed. going back for more. being awake is too tough. Taking some nighttime cough medicine and calling it a day. lol

 

will I ever see him again?

[MuscleSpasm]

After the texts that I sent last night, he sent a reply saying:

"We will talk when you are ready to" at around 4 pm. What do I do?

[MuscleSpasm]

Is it wrong to be hopeful? :S

[MakeItCount]

All I can tell you for sure is to leave him alone. But you won't listen. So it's up to you.

[MuscleSpasm]

I have left him alone since last night's panic attack.

[zinny]

I wrote this in someone else's thread too but I believe you need to stop analyzing what his one line sentence means... and - not be too harsh - but don't have hope in anything he says unless he firmly says point blank - I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND GET BACK TOGETHER.

 

A year ago, I was in your shoes. I was obsessed and I answered every single message he sent me. Instantaneously, but my ex would write more "loving" messages - only in the end to tell me he still couldn't be with me... Granted his life was a mess... but he made it messier by his poor decisions. And each time I tried to move on, he'd throw out a line and reel me back in.... just to NOT BE WITH ME.

 

No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is an emotional mess.... whether it's a romantic relationship or simply a friendship. I think you need some time to get yourself together and these messages to him... it's just going to make things worse.

 

If he has something to say to you.... then let him say it.... But don't force him to talk to you - in hopes he will say something you want to hear.

 

"Closure" is an overused term.... you don't need someone else to give you closure. You don't need someone else to tell you WHY they don't want to be with you - how does that give anyone closure? I agree with everyone else on here.... you need to stop contacting him. Don't give him anymore of your time, unless he's willing to give something back....

[MuscleSpasm]

You're right. I just have to move on. I kept on thinking that since we broke up because of circumstance that he would realize that we were good for each other. But I can't force him to realize that and I will have to just accept that fact.

 

I think I'm annoying everyone on this site too, so I think I'll just deal with my problems on my own now.

I texted right now in response to his last text: "There is no point. Sorry for the annoyance. Goodbye."

 

Thank you guys for all of your help.

[MakeItCount]

Nope, you're not annoying us. We've all been there, trust me. We just have an objective view and not blinded by emotions like you are. Keep posting here, start a journal if you like. We're all here to help.

 

I wouldn't have even texted him. But it's all good. Just leave it now. Don't reply to anything he sends.

[MuscleSpasm]

He hasn't contacted me and I haven't contacted him. It's been two days, but feels like forever since I've talked to him. Hung out all day yesterday with friends.

 

I always have this sort of -not fake- but more outgoing and funny side of me that I portray with friends and then my serious and quiet side at home or with people I'm super close with (family, ex). So it wasn't completely surprising that two of my friends told me they never saw me with him and that we didn't look like a good match. He was a very quiet guy, especially around people he didn't know. But it still sort of hurt to think that my friends were secretly glad that we were broken up. They agreed that he was a super duper nice guy and that he treated me really well, they just saw him as very quiet and me as very loud.

 

My one friend has been dealing with a break-up from her 7 year relationship with her high school sweetheart. She's basically over him now, after 9 months. She told me of mandala colouring. She would do it whenever something greatly upset her and he helped her release her emotions without losing her sanity. I did one last night and I thought it helped, but I might have also been in a better mood after hanging out with friends.

[MuscleSpasm]

I miss him so much. I just want to be held by him

 

I should never have gotten upset over him having doubts. If I hadn't cried, or if I had stayed and talked instead of running away, we would have still been together

[barbutler]

dont cry that its over ,smile that it happened,happy holidays xxx

[MuscleSpasm]

I think I would've been happier had it never happened. At least I wouldn't have known he existed.

[MuscleSpasm]

I messaged him saying a simple "Merry Christmas" yesterday. He responded with a "you, too".

 

I was having a tough day yesterday, feeling completely unloved and unwanted by family and friends. He was always the one I could count on. I was weak and I texted saying "Improper use, of comma. Can I talk to you later?" He never replied.

 

I messaged today saying that I guess I got my answer. That my therapist had recommended I try to talk to him (he did recommend I do that, but through email, stating all the things I wanted, and not to expect a reply back), and that it was either a date with him or a date with a new guy (I made that up to make him jealous) on Wednesday, and since he hadn't responded, that I hope new guy and I worked so that I could leave him alone. I felt hurt. So I sent another message saying he's cold-hearted and how I finally see his true colours. And I sent my last one now asking what I did that caused him to treat me like this.

 

I'm so effing upset.

[kuteknish]

musclespasm - you're digging yourself a deeper hole.. you need to stop sending these messages. start a journal, but stop sending anything to him.

[MuscleSpasm]

four texts sent. Last one said basically that he will regret what he did.

 

Grave has been dug. Can I get him back? No.

 

[MakeItCount]

I'll tell ya what I told you before - stop this. You're definitely digging a hole. You never know if you can get him back, regardless of how you act. You need to delete his number. Now. Start a journal, document your feelings, let people here talk you out of it. Let's try an exercise - every time you want to text him, post here. And DO NOT TEXT until we give you our opinion. It's easy for us to give you an objective view.

 

You're still very much acting on emotions and this needs to stop. Take it from thousands of posts I've read - it NEVER ends well. You end up feeling crappy like you are now.

[kuteknish]

YEP! we have ALL been there and understand what you are going through... you have to listen to us when we say STOP TEXTING HIM. Erase his # NOW. Bury your relationship in the hole you are digging and start working on yourself... you will have more of a chance of reconciliation in the future if you dignity is still intact, but the more you text, the more you chip away at that and make yourself WAY less attractive to him. stop it. now.

[MuscleSpasm]

I deleted his number a while ago, unfortunately, because he was annoyed once that I didn't have his number memorized, I now have it memorized.

 

I felt suicidal last night, but I'm too scared of the pain, plus I couldn't do that to my mother. So, I'm stuck here, suffering through life, with no one who cares (except my mom).

 

I just signed up for eharmony and started crying to the call center lady! So pathetic! I doubt I'll find anything serious there, but hopefully I'll get attention from other guys and hopefully that can help me stop obsessing about the man I love. Really hoping for something good to happen right now. I could use it.

[Mills]

Just take it a day at a time. If a day is too long, do it hourly.. telling yourself you will not text him. Trust me, my ex and I have been at each other's throats the past few days, saying really harmful things to each other - you don't want him to get to the point where he hates you. Thankfully my ex and I sort of made amends today and put everything negative behind us, things that each of us have done and said, but it's been a rough time... and I don't want you to go through that. Stop texting him now before it gets worse. Each day will get better, I promise. I know it sucks right now but it WILL get better. He can't miss you if you are always in his face and there.. give him the space he wants plus much more. And just remember you are not alone.