Hey, thought I'd provide an update

[sonicfan287]

I don't know who's followed my "story" (or lack thereof) for the last few months but things have gotten a bit more confusing for me than ever... not nessecarily bad though. Basically, my girlfriend dumped me over the summer and I did everything possible to push her away, to the point where she said she never wanted to see me again, and I thought she meant it. As you all know, I had had several nervous breakdowns over this, gone on anti-depressants, all the breakup pains you can imagine so I know what we've all been going through at some point.

 

That said... the most confusing thing happened a couple weeks ago, and now that its happened and Ive had time for it to sink in, I've come back to talk about it ... basically, we got back together. I don't know how or why or any of that. Everyone who knew her told me there was NO chance of this, I should either settle for being friends or get out of her life. She told me repeatedly to move on with my life and that she didn't want to talk about our relationship anymore... etc. etc.

 

Then about 2 weeks ago, she said she missed me. She left it at that, and when I asked why she was contacting me at all, she said it was silly of her to say we should never talk again. She wanted to know if I wanted to get together sometime. Now normally this would seem like a reconciliation opportunity but this has happened before, where she's wanted to see me and it always turns into nothing but awkwardness. Of course, I'm the kind of person thatd rather try something potentially stupid and have it fail than not try at all and always wonder, so I accepted her invite, thinking it would just be another awkward "friends" outing but I honestly was bored and needed the time out, so I went to see her. She didnt appear any more visibly excited to see me or any indication that she wanted to get back and yet, sure enough, we went into her room and talked. She said she made a huge mistake ending it and that she thought it was too late to ask to get back together because of all the times I begged and cried and she shot me down... well, of course I took her back.

 

Anyway, we've only been on a couple dates and things have been okay, but I'm confused beyond all reason as to how this happened, and in such a short time. It's like we never broke up which is great but unfortunately I find myself incredibly skeptical which makes it hard to enjoy sometimes... Any thoughts?

[johnm3]

why did you break up in the first place?

 

i can understand you distrusting her now if she dumped you for some other guy or something serious like that

[thekid55]

If you have any links to other postings, I'd gladly read them and try to help out.

[babymommy]

Congrats on getting back together, I also want to know for how long were guys actually broken up for??

[MakeItCount]

yeah background story pls and grats!

[thekid55]

I'd be extremely careful here.

 

I read some of your other threads and your ex seems to have a whirlwind of emotions. She is younger 18 and teenagers are always changing.

 

Just be extremely careful. I'd limit your hangout days with her right and gradually build up over time.

[sonicfan287]

Yeah basically, there isnt much of a story as far as why we broke up. We were together 6 months originally and things were mostly great, but after all that she decided she didn't want to date anymore and she only sees me as a friend. After that, she still asked me to hang out which got my hopes up but it never turned into anything. I begged, cried and pleaded and had intermittent contact with her before pretty much giving up on things, only to be contacted out of the blue and asked to get back together. I agree with the last poster's suggestion to take things slow

[AutumnBorn]

It's very simple. Her life is better with you in it than outside of it. It took a bit of time for her to realize her misery wasn't a stage.

 

Have you read Al Turtle's blog? I love Al's blog.

 

You've got the happy ending. Don't look for disaster or you'll make it happen.

[kuteknish]

Autumn.. which part of his blog are you referring to?

[sonicfan287]

It's very simple. Her life is better with you in it than outside of it. It took a bit of time for her to realize her misery wasn't a stage.

 

Have you read Al Turtle's blog? I love Al's blog.

 

You've got the happy ending. Don't look for disaster or you'll make it happen.

 

Your last line here is the one that sticks with me... it seems like these thoughts of doubt have sabotaged me all my life at school, work, relationships... just this feeling that things aren't as great as they seem, and then sure enough, they're not that great, because I thought I saw it coming. Its simple enough to say "well, dont have these self sabotaging thoughts" but theyre almost subconscious at this point. I just hope her desire to get back together was sincere and not because she couldn't get with someone else she wanted or simply wanted someone around and knew Id return. I don't see her as that kind of person, but then again, sometimes I wonder who she is, since I saw every side of her imaginablle between the breakup and now. Btw, to the poster who asked how long we'd been broken up, it was 5 months, during which time I begged, cried, scared several of our friends with how depressed I was, went to therapy and noone could seem to get me to cheer up. Even now, im not "cheered up" so much as stable which is all I can settle for at this point. It's not her fault anymore though, since she's back in my life. Just crap that I need to work through personally.