Is anybody alone for THANKSGIVING BESIDES ME? =(

[Eriel]

I have a huge family but, this year my family members are too busy celebrating thanksgiving with their in-laws and I happen to be the only single person besides my grandmother. But this year like a few years ago, I will be alone on thanksgiving day. I'm just a little sad and a bit lonely because my family never has time to spend the holidays anymore. I will be spending Christmas, my birthday, and new years alone as well. I wished I had a family of my own or someone to spend time with this year. Sometimes I feel like the only person alone on every holiday, its getting old. I've never felt so alone in my life before, tears are running down my eyes as I'm writing this, I feel pathetic. Are you spending time alone again like me for the holidays?

[annie24]

i don't understand - why can't you go along with someone to their in-laws? you are family too!!!

 

you can also host your own 'orphan thanksgiving.' several grad students in my program do this.

 

if nothing else, you can go and volunteer at a church or soup kitchen.

[abitbroken]

I agree. If you are the only one, I am sure there is someone who would invite you. I think that it is common for people to spend a holiday with one side, then the other. Why not start a tradition? Talk to your siblings and say that I know that they all celebrate with their in-laws, what about making one holiday where the whole family gets together and then go to the in-laws on the other. When my siblings and I were kids, we were always together with our cousins for the holidays. When we got older and branched off into families of our own, it would be natural to just stop getting together, but we have determined to make Christmas morning when we all get together with grandparents, cousins, great-grandkids, etc, and then later all go to our in-laws. For my dad's family, he doesn't see his cousins anymore now that grandma died. No one took her place as family ringleader.

 

Maybe its your turn to say "let's start a new tradition. Let's all get together with grandma, the aunts and uncles, the siblings" . If a lot of folks are out of town, what about making the weekend after thanksgiving, christmas eve or the day after christmas "you day". My dad's family gets together on a different day now during the holidays for that reason.

 

Anyway, things are what you make of it. So either sit and be lonely, or make it known that you and grandma don't have anyone else to spend the holidays with and you would really like if one of your siblings or cousins would consider inviting you, or be the family ring leader.

[Eriel]

We did talk about it and everyone says "THEY ARE TOO BUSY" so what am I supposed to do, invite myself to their families gathering when CLEARLY NO ONE HAS INVITED ME? Am I supposed to invite myself? I even told my sister I don't want to be alone on thanksgiving, well did I even get an invite or response? HELL NO.

I live with my brother and he knows I'll be alone on thanksgiving, well he didn't even say a word to me when I told him I wanted to spend time together on thanksgiving. His response was "Oh well im too busy with my inlaws"

Its NOT like I want to be alone on thanksgiving and did NOT REACH OUT TO MY FAMILY, the point is I DID, I DO ALL THE TIME!!!!!!! BEING SINGLE SUCKS.

[shes2smart]

I spent several holidays alone when I was single (and after I quit having anything to do with my bio-family).

 

I always had several options -- At the time I worked at a place that was staffed 24/7/365, so I could volunteer to work. I didn't get paid overtime (I was salaried at that time), but could usually manage to work out getting a paid day off at some point in the future in exchange for working a holiday, so that was just as good.

 

I generally had at least one or two friends who were hosting some gathering at their home and with a little sad-puppy-dog-eye thing, I could wrangle an invite. It was a little weird being around a family gathering as a guest, but I always found it interesting to observe and enjoy a free meal.

 

Some years, if my favorite fancy restaurant was open, I'd just treat myself to a lavish meal there with a good book.

 

A lot of how one experiences the holidays has a lot to do with one's own ideas and expectations about the holidays. I mean, if you build it up as being Very Important that you be around family for a specific day or days and events are such that it doesn't happen that way, you're probably not going to have a very good time. However, if you approach it with a different attitude -- "I can work and get an extra day off for my summer vacation" or "I can have a nice, quiet meal by myself" or "I can spend time with my family of choice (friends)" and work to find the positive, that can change your whole experience.

 

Time being what it is, "traditions" change over time. Our parents may get divorced, they get older, they eventually pass on, our siblings may marry or divorce or move far away, we may have a falling out with various family members....all these things change what we do for the holidays. Point being there are very few people who will be doing exactly what they've always done for the holidays year in and year out over the course of their lives....because change is the only constant. So you can mourn what isn't....or you can figure out how to celebrate what is.

[meteorstrike]

You're not the only one. I am too and I think I'm growing distant from everyone because of it. Sometimes I think I don't know how to be around other people.

[Ituhata]

I've spent the last 4 Thanksgiving and Christmases alone up in SC. This year will be the first time I've seen my family since.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think your siblings are being very selfish and not understanding the spirit of the holidays. I remember when I was living in the US I had invites from people to spend Thanksgiving with their family. It is mind boggling that none of the in-laws thought to invite you along. What about your grandmother...is she going to be alone too or did she get an invite.

[AmericanHuney]

Oh trust me! Even people who have somewhere to go on Thanksgiving feel alone, because everyone there is married or in a relationship besides them! I hear about this stuff from friends all the time! So even if you spend it alone, there are thousands out there at houses on Thanksgiving feeling alone because they are shoved in a room with couples and their children when they are single and have no kids.

[annie24]

yeah, i've actually been invited to a sort of 'orphan thanksgiving' myself this year. i am going, i think it will be fun. there are several of us singletons being invited.

[mikeb328]

Could be worse like.... I'm Invited next door for thanksgiving with my wife, my kids and my wife's boyfriend. Were getting a div. But I've been out of work can't seem to find a job and that's depressing enough! So thinking of either key west or new Orleans... any suggestions on a happy party spot for the holidays? Input would be much appreciated

[annie24]

Could be worse like.... I'm Invited next door for thanksgiving with my wife, my kids and my wife's boyfriend. Were getting a div. But I've been out of work can't seem to find a job and that's depressing enough! So thinking of either key west or new Orleans... any suggestions on a happy party spot for the holidays? Input would be much appreciated

 

 

oh wow, that sounds like fun times! yes, let's invite the husband and the boyfriend! great. i think that your hosts are looking forward to a fist fight breaking out over the turkey.