think my fiance may be cheating

[river12]

so after a few days tracking partners phone numbers she hasnt called or had calls from this pat guy since last friday .

 

Im probably leaning towards her flirting with this guy only.

 

ive been able to see her phone bill and no calls on it to him.

[LostOne01]

ive been able to see her phone bill and no calls on it to him.

 

Then she's deleting her outgoing calls and text messages to him. She probably suspects you're onto her, but no matter, keep digging until she slips.

[river12]

Then she's deleting her outgoing calls and text messages to him. She probably suspects you're onto her, but no matter, keep digging until she slips.

 

what i was saying was that i have a copy of her phone records online and there is no calls or texts to this guy since last friday.

[RobD70]

what i was saying was that i have a copy of her phone records online and there is no calls or texts to this guy since last friday.

 

What about other numbers? He may have more than one phone.

 

If she was cheating and smart about it, she would hide him under another girl friend's name or give him a girl's name so it would raise any flags. Just check for patterns and hopefully you are right, it may be nothing. Still, he being gone for so long and going out for drinks is a bad sign. I'd have my guard up since the same thing happened to me right before both my ex-gf and wife left me (not at the same time lol).

[Brownstone322]

I'd have my guard up since the same thing happened to me right before both my ex-gf and wife left me (not at the same time lol).

Had that been the case, then that woulda been a great story. (And you'd definitely be in the right forum.

[river12]

What about other numbers? He may have more than one phone.

 

If she was cheating and smart about it, she would hide him under another girl friend's name or give him a girl's name so it would raise any flags. Just check for patterns and hopefully you are right, it may be nothing. Still, he being gone for so long and going out for drinks is a bad sign. I'd have my guard up since the same thing happened to me right before both my ex-gf and wife left me (not at the same time lol).

 

Hopefully im right i have the guard up though i wont drop it all together but i am a little more comfortable now that his phone hasnt been contatcted since last friday and if she was full on into him they would be chatting more etc thats a given i think , and she still has no idea what so ever i seen her texts and is none the wiser.

 

maybe this guy pat thought he would test the waters and call her sexy etc via text and see if she responded with the same types of texts , she didn't and maybe he now feels i have no chance with this girl and has stopped texting her.

 

she has flirted with him which is wrong but i dont think anything physical has happened and i will actually bring flirting up in a non direct way sometime this week , as far as cheating she just doe not have the self confidence to actually do something like that anyway (well i hope).

if there continued texts and calls from his number i would then say yes im in deep trouble but a good sign there is not.

[Brownstone322]

she has flirted with him which is wrong but i dont think anything physical has happened and i will actually bring flirting up in a non direct way sometime this week , as far as cheating she just doe not have the self confidence to actually do something like that anyway (well i hope).

if there continued texts and calls from his number i would then say yes im in deep trouble but a good sign there is not.

Maybe she put the kibosh on his advances. Maybe she enjoyed the attention for a while (which would be understandable, in all honesty), then she stopped it before it got grossly inappropriate. I don't have strong basis for that theory, but the available evidence supports it as much as some of the other opinions here.

 

Here's another one (also not implausible): Maybe she actually "did it" once (or twice), then she reconsidered her actions and slammed on the brakes. That kinda thing actually happens, 'cause I've seen it firsthand.

[river12]

Maybe she put the kibosh on his advances. Maybe she enjoyed the attention for a while (which would be understandable, in all honesty), then she stopped it before it got grossly inappropriate. I don't have strong basis for that theory, but the available evidence supports it as much as some of the other opinions here.

 

Here's another one (also not implausible): Maybe she actually "did it" once (or twice), then she reconsidered her actions and slammed on the brakes. That kinda thing actually happens, 'cause I've seen it firsthand.

 

yes all valid points you make, hopefully its your first option she's done and not the second, anyway if she has done it already theres no way of finding out .

[DelG]

River....

Have you considered she has a Pay As You Go Sim Card. My Ex did that.. I was checking the records, not texts or calls.. Then I noticed one thing about her phone.

 

Women put the phones in their bags... No matter how much they change or clean their bags bits of dust, or whatever builds up in them. This dust often accumulates around and in the phone.. If you look at the phone you will more than likely see it.

 

Now with my EX she had the same thing (she changed her bag almost daily) but the Sim tray (around it) on her phone was always clean.

 

This indicated to me, in my heightened sense of paranoia that she must be pulling the Sim out fairly often. A little digging later and boom, receipt for a Sim card. Actually I did not even have to dig, she left the receipt of the floor in her rush to go have Hotel Sex with her new lover LOL

 

Also never ever think her low self esteem will hold her back, that is a huge mistake. The mere fact **IF** she is getting attention will ten fold boost it, you need to re-think that thought ASAP!!!

 

Something is fishy, and to me you are somewhat burring your head in the sand, it could all be innocent however I think you need to keep digging, and if needs be follow her, watch her.

[river12]

pretty sure theres no other hidden phone my gf has same bag everyday , this guy hasn't rang or text in over a week now but of course will keep on my toes and be wary. i think she may have flirted a little but most likely thought "im engaged" what am i doing.

[LostOne01]

pretty sure theres no other hidden phone my gf has same bag everyday , this guy hasn't rang or text in over a week now but of course will keep on my toes and be wary. i think she may have flirted a little but most likely thought "im engaged" what am i doing.

 

She might be onto you and have decided to slow things down, or moved the relationship deeper underground. In other words, she might have another phone or some other way to contact/see him that you don't know about.

[river12]

She might be onto you and have decided to slow things down, or moved the relationship deeper underground. In other words, she might have another phone or some other way to contact/see him that you don't know about.

 

There is no way she is onto me she has no idea i know anything at all i have been completley normal.

[Brownstone322]

i think she may have flirted a little but most likely thought "im engaged" what am i doing.

Based on what you've shared with us, this is where my money lies, because it's the best fit.

 

Howeva ... continue to be vigilant without being a paranoid, distrusting, snooping, relationship-wrecking douche bag. Have her apparent actions warranted your being on alert? Yes. Has she earned an expectation of trust and respect accross the duration of your relationship? Yes.

 

So it's kind of a tightrope, I know, but you have to walk it anyway.

[river12]

Based on what you've shared with us, this is where my money lies, because it's the best fit.

 

Howeva ... continue to be vigilant without being a paranoid, distrusting, snooping, relationship-wrecking douche bag. Have her apparent actions warranted your being on alert? Yes. Has she earned an expectation of trust and respect accross the duration of your relationship? Yes.

 

So it's kind of a tightrope, I know, but you have to walk it anyway.

 

yes i agree with you on all you have said.

[corrin]

I can't believe you have not confronted her yet. She went to dinner with a man who calls her by the name, "sexy," and she lied about the dinner. You are being too passive in my opinion. I would do something about what you know. Just tell her what you know and ask her to explain it.

[lady00]

I can't believe you have not confronted her yet. She went to dinner with a man who calls her by the name, "sexy," and she lied about the dinner. You are being too passive in my opinion. I would do something about what you know. Just tell her what you know and ask her to explain it.

 

I agree. Whether or not she cheated, the sheer amount of disrespect that she has shown for you and the relationship should have you asking some serious questions about whether it makes sense for you to stay in this relationship. Would you do this to her? How would she feel if you did? What reaction would you expect from her?

[LostOne01]

I agree also. I don't know how much more pain does OP needs to go through to see that his girl is not marriage material. From what he has posted so far about her, he has enough evidence to confront her now. If he confronts her now, and she gets a pissy attitude about it, then he has his answer. Time to quit playing Cat&Mouse and blow this out of the water. She's at least in an emotional affair with this guy if she hasn't slept with him yet, given that she lied to him about the dinner and the over flirtatious text messages. Too much lies and decetion point in her direction.

[DelG]

pretty sure theres no other hidden phone my gf has same bag everyday , this guy hasn't rang or text in over a week now but of course will keep on my toes and be wary. i think she may have flirted a little but most likely thought "im engaged" what am i doing.

 

Im not talking about a Phone, I am talking about a Sim Card that goes into a phone, which is the size of an English penny and thinner. Easily hidden in a purse etc under credit cards.

 

You are on your toes for a reason.. follow it through, and if it is the case that she may have flirted and thought better of it that needs addressing now, because it will happen again and may not stop before disaster.

 

You keep making excuses, and playing it down. No pattern of behaviour fits an affair, some people conduct affairs for years and nobody not even their spouse will notice. Grasp the nettle soon.

[Jnot]

I agree with the last couple of posts. Get it out in the open before it destroys your relationship. If she denies it, still be watching closely. I never thought in a million years that my wife would cheat and lie to me but humans are strange animals.

[Applewhite]

You already know my thoughts on this - but I agree with the posters that say you seem to be making excuses for her and trying to DISPROVE things. The fact remains that she lied to you - you have a gut feeling and you do not trust her.