I'm too clingy I think

[wickerbasket]

Hi there! I'm new to this board.

But anyway, recently I broke up with my boyfriend because of this whirlwind relationship I got thrown into with a guy who used to live, just moved to CT, and is visiting throughout the summer.

The problem is, he's very hot and cold. One minute, he'll be touching me and asking me things and smiling at me; the next, he'll ignore me, he'll seem spaced out, and unattentive.

But I've never been with anyone like him. I'm addicted already even though I know his hot and cold behavior will drive me insane. He just visited for a week and left for two weeks and I've received no calls from him or anything. It's only been three days... but I'm obsessing over it. He sent me a text message once saying that he wanted to see me--about two weeks ago and I was thinking of sending him a similar message soon. Good idea? Bad? Or am I too clingy? Or should I just get my feelings out there so we can no ahead of time if there is really anything between us?

[kdreger]

He's stringing you along.

 

Be realistic - if he really cared would he disappear for periods of time? As well, if this is the beginning, what's he going to be like over the long term.

 

If I had to guess, I'd say you two have slept together and everytime he wants some he comes over and plays you to get the goods. Once he gets what he wants he takes off again.

[wickerbasket]

well actually, he's on a planned vacation right now that he told me about before we ever got together. He's planning to come back at the end of july. I just wish he'd contact me more. We're both going away for college soon so we can't really start a relationship but just "hooking up" with someone like him.. makes my heart hurt. I guess I'm just wondering if any part of him cares like I do.

[goddess23]

i think he does have some feelings for you. its early, so for him, he may not want to seem as if he "cares" too much, because hes not sure exactly how to act in this new "relationship". in the beginning, guys often do the hot and cold thing because they know it keeps us interested and drives us insane, making us think even more about them. i think you should do the same, play it cool. let things flow, if he sent you a message like that, do the same! if he doesn't, you shouldn't either. if he ignores you, you ignore him, mirror his behavior. and if he keeps playing it TOO cool lol, then you should get your feelings out.

college is coming up, and you realize that chances of something really serious developing are slim, but you don't want to put yourself out there for nothing. honestly i think you should just let things flow, and if more feelings develop, then great, if they don't at least you're not too deep into it. but i think hes just playing the game, not sure exactly how to act with someone he doesn't reallly know.

[wickerbasket]

thanks! That really helps. I just put my feelings out there too easily and consider his hot and cold feelings a minus.. but I guess I do have to consider the little games that guys play. But thanks you made me feel a lot better!