Anyone know anything about this?

[SpottiOtti]

Does anyone have any information or experience to share about a father getting his rights back after he's signed them away?

 

I have a close friend who is going through this. He was young and naive when the girl got pregnant, and was coerced by his parents and hers to give up his rights. He desperately regrets it now. Two lawyers have told him that once you sign them away, there's pretty much no hope. But I feel like there has to be something he can do.

[tinkerbellkj]

I worked for the Department of Children and Families for a few years and dealt with this a lot. I have never heard of a parent getting their rights back after signing them over, it is something that is taken VERY seriously, in order to achieve permanency for the child. Apparently there are loop holes, but I have never seen any, and I haven't seen an attorney willing to fight it, because they would basically have to prove he was being coerced, which is not easy. I have sat in several hearings and they always ask you on the record "do you know why you are here today, are you on drugs or alcohol that may alter your thinking, has anyone bribed you, etc" so once that has been on record in open Court, it's kind of hard to fight.

 

Granted, I do not know your friends situation, but if two attorneys are stating no, he can try to find one that specializes in this type of law, but like I said I have never seen it happen.

[3boys]

tinkerbell is right, there's not much he can do. Probably the only hope he has is if he was a minor when he did it, he might be able to find an attorney who would be willing to take his case, but it's not likely and would be VERY expensive if he did. There have even been cases where fathers DIDN'T sign away their rights, they didn't even KNOW about the children, and they couldn't get their kids so chances are slim to none that your friend will be able to....

 

Depending on how long ago it was and how old the child is, his best bet might be to try looking for him/her and see if he can be a part of the child's life, but I would only recommend that if it's an older child and if the parents are willing (or the child if he/she is an adult).

[sidehop]

There really isn't. My daughter's biological father signed his rights away soon after she was born. The way the lawyer put it, there really isn't anyway that would allow him back into her life.

[SpottiOtti]

Thanks, everyone. It makes me so sad to see him hurting over this. I wish there was something I could do. It's a complicated situation because the child's mother's rights were also taken away by her parents for a time due to drug abuse, and she has just recently gotten joint custody with them. That's a whole other story though. He is hoping that now she has partial custody, she will let him see the child, but she seems really flaky and somewhat unstable to me so I'm not sure.

[sidehop]

I do feel for him, it wasn't like he made that decision as a grown adult in his say 30's or 40's. Family pressure is one thing. I do hope he can see his own child even if it's not frequent.

[SpottiOtti]

I do too. I told him today, at least she got custody back! That's a step in the right direction! But he is so dejected that things aren't going exactly the way he wants them to - he wanted to see his kid tonight but she said not til this weekend. I don't think he will ever be at peace with this until he changes his way of looking at it - it is not realistic to have a normal relationship with the child, but there will be some sort of relationship. I think he is still looking at it from an unrealistic perspective, and still beating himself up over what he did when he was a dumb kid. I don't know how to help him, and it frustrates me.

[sidehop]

At least she's not completely rejecting him, that would make things more difficult. I guess time will only tell? If he's wanting to be in this child's life, things could change or her and the parents may allow him to see his child more often.

[SpottiOtti]

Yes, I have said that to him too: let this new custody arrangement settle, and see how it goes. He says there is no way her parents will approve of him seeing the child, apparently they hate him, which I can't even begin to comprehend because I know what a good person he is. I have suggested that he just show up at their house and try to talk to them, but he says that is not workable.

 

I guess there really is not much he can do, other than just keep expressing an interest in his kid, and be patient.