To err is human

[Gaz]

WHY OH WHY won`t people listen to you for one second instead of jumping on their high horse and riding of into the sunset. Why can`t some people forgive and forget? We are only human after all.

 

This brings me to the subject of my ex girlfriend who, for one year has completely avoided me since she `dumped` me over the phone. And in the mean time I have done everything possible to make it better, be nice to her family, who still support me after five years, respect her privacy, work on my own failings etc etc. And, yet, NOTHING.

 

What do I have to do to sell my soul to the devil?

 

To err is human, to forgive is.....impossible?

 

Yes, I still love her and always will, which is why I will always be in limbo until we can sit down together and talk again.

 

 

 

Sorry I just had to get that off my chest.

[Duderanomi]

I'm in the same boat as you buddy. I feel for ya.

[Mr. Good Man]

Have you ever thought maybe she doesn't want to listen? While you still love her maybe she doesn't love you.

 

Unfortunately, people do grow and want different things in their life. Her leaving doesn't say, "you're worthless" it could mean, "our time is over and I'm moving on without you."

 

Sure, it's not fair. I agree. I've been there. But, would you rather have her back so she can take advantage of you and not love you? Or, would you have things the way it is now? Doesn't look so bad now does it?

 

One more thing. It's okay to still love her. That's normal. But are you still in love with her? If so, then that will be a huge problem because you won't allow yourself to be with anyone else. And that is a crime because you have stopped moving forward in your personal life, specifically the relationship area.

 

Also, while she may forgive and forget it doesn't mean she will take you back.

 

In my opinion, you should stop trying to please her and please yourself. Do everything for you! Enjoy your life and have some fun man.

 

Life is too short!

[Val_76]

hhhmmm... its been over with your ex for about a year now and even if you tried everything possible to get her back she didn't came back? You've worked on yourself and kept contact while respecting her and it left her like stone?

 

Have you tried doing nothing, like no contact, to see if she come back running to you because suddenly she realise you're not around the corner to chase after her?

 

May I ask what need to be forgotten and what is so hard for her to forgive you? It might help us understand why she left you in the first place. Of course if its cheating and if your relationship is beyound repair because of that, then I'm afraid there's nothing for you to do except get some closure...

[Gaz]

She never gave me any closure when she left. She left me open and hurting for months without an explanation. Although I have moved on I still deserve that explanation and would dearly love to see her again and just be on the same level as her. I did everything I could and I am not a bad person, but she treats me so, that is why.

 

She will probably never explain and I except that but if it were the other way round I would have ended things the right way and maintained the contact if possible, but thats just me.

 

Im having the time of my life at the moment but I still love her and unlike some people will not let this rest, because she means too much to me.

 

She made some very definate promises to me, and I to her before she left, Im sure that she couldn`t have changed heart in such a small space of time.

 

Its easy if you get closure.

[Gaz]

hhhmmm... its been over with your ex for about a year now and even if you tried everything possible to get her back she didn't came back? You've worked on yourself and kept contact while respecting her and it left her like stone?

 

Have you tried doing nothing, like no contact, to see if she come back running to you because suddenly she realise you're not around the corner to chase after her?

 

May I ask what need to be forgotten and what is so hard for her to forgive you? It might help us understand why she left you in the first place. Of course if its cheating and if your relationship is beyound repair because of that, then I'm afraid there's nothing for you to do except get some closure...

 

Ok well basically we were together 4 and a half years ish, we loved each other more than anything, unconditionally you could say, spent almost every day together.

 

Pressure got to us both, especially me and I said some things in the last few months I regretted and I used to get `moody` sometimes and this used to scare her but I promised I would sort it out and she trusted me 110%.

 

The last night I saw her we made love and told each other how much we loved each other, even talking about houses, families etc then I got moody for some reason and sent her home in a taxi. Last time I saw her.

 

Bang, no contact for 1 year. Tried everything, even her parents couldn`t understand. Then I found out recently she had been seeing a guy for `quite a while` and it started to make more sense.

 

I have worked on myself in every way,done everthing I can for her and nothing. Its like an open book.

 

 

[Gaz]

I'm in the same boat as you buddy. I feel for ya.

 

Im with you too man

[Gaz]

Im beginning to think that people can think they are in love but actually aren`t, and that makes me sad. But, is it the same thing?

 

Despite what anyone says to me on here (and I thank you for all your comments) I will always love `F` and still hold out hope for us to reconcile, always. She was my soul mate I believe. Please do not tell me to `move on` or `get over` it. (I mean that in the nicest possible way).

Maybe true love does exist? Maybe all those things she said before she left she didn`t mean? Maybe she never loved me?

 

I`d love to do one of those `stuck in a lift` senarios with her and just knock all this sh*t out, then I wouldn`t be still posting messages at half-past twelve in the morning.

 

The more I read about others though the more I understand about my own life...

 

 

[lunatic]

Gaz,

 

I can understand that you think this woman is your soul mate but, she is not in your life anymore. That is why everyone here is telling you to move on and do no contact. I would if I were you get out and take care of you instead of living in this fantasy. I am sorry that I am being harsh here but, I mean you are kind of living in a dream. Dude it is over and she is not coming back. Face the facts that she is with someone else. Comon now I have been out of my relationship for almost a year now and I have moved on myself (yes she cheated on me and now she is getting married to this guy). You have to live for yourself and work out why your so hung up on this woman.

 

To belittle everyone elses opinion here is not nice either. If you know that is what everyone is going to say then why ask the question? I mean your not going to take the advice your getting to heart then there is a problem but, it is not with the advise.

 

It is a year now and it is time for you to move on and as one of the posts stated she may come running back because your not so available.

 

Let her go and get on with your life because we are not on the planet that long. To sit and wait for someone to come back is crazy.

 

Gaz just about everyone here is hurting and wants to back with their ex's (not me). It is a fact of life that when a relationship ends there is always one that is really crushed.

 

Dude life is too short go live a little out there.

 

Sorry to be so blunt,

Hubman 8)

[Gaz]

Im sorry to say this but you obviously haven`t followed my story very closely, let me straighten things up here.

 

Dude life is too short go live a little out there.

 

Im having the time of my life at the moment but I still love her and unlike some people will not let this rest, because she means too much to me.

 

^^One page back

 

 

 

To belittle everyone elses opinion here is not nice either

 

Please do not tell me to `move on` or `get over` it. (I mean that in the nicest possible way).

 

I would never belittle peoples opinion thankyou very much

 

Im simply saying that I have no wish to just forget about this but value peoples opinions on WHY she has shut me out of her life and WHY she has left me with no closure.

 

I am not interested in jumping back into a relationship with this woman, even though I love her. I am trying to understand why she is ignoring me still after a year and if anyone else has experienced this.

 

 

 

If you know that is what everyone is going to say then why ask the question?

 

If you read more carefully my first post you would see that I am not asking a question I am just expressing my feelings, over the fact that even a year later she completely ignores me, which, is her parogative, BUT still I would like to understand more why she would do this.

 

This is not some selfish post about the fact that I want her back at all costs.

 

Comon now I have been out of my relationship for almost a year now and I have moved on myself (yes she cheated on me and now she is getting married to this guy). You have to live for yourself and work out why your so hung up on this woman.

 

Let me ask you this then:

 

Did Mrs X leave you with no explanation as to why she left and then ignore you COMPLETELY for a year?

 

Did you get closure?

 

Did she leave you wondering if she was safe?, suicidal?

 

Was she suffering depression like my ex is?

 

Did she talk about houses, families, being in love forever, sharing everything JUST before she left?

 

Well, thats what happened to me. And it scared the hell out of me because I heard NOTHING except from her parents.

 

Im sorry to be blunt

[lunatic]

I am a moderator and I will not be apart of a FLAMING WAR. I will answer your questions but, I will not go any further than that. I do have to say I did write a response to you but, I decieded against posting it. There is no need to reply when I know I have done nothing wrong and I still stand by my responses. You want to wait YOUR life away then that is YOUR decision. END OF THAT! 8)

 

To answer your questions:

Did Mrs X leave you with no explanation as to why she left and then ignore you COMPLETELY for a year?

My Ex and I broke up with no explainations, no mercy, no love, no emotions. We ended and I have not looked back. BTW I was with her for over 4 years and we lived together for two and a half.

 

Did I get closure?

NO

 

Did she leave you wondering if she was safe?, suicidal?

I really don't care about her anymore and she is dead in my eyes. She was sleeping with someone else while she was saying she loved me.

 

Was she suffering depression like my ex is?

Yes she is depressed and yes she has major emotional issues. Do I care anymore? No I have moved on.

 

Did she talk about houses, families, being in love forever, sharing everything JUST before she left?

 

Yes she did. She had two little girls that I was deeply in love with them. I bought an engagement ring and was going to give it to her. We always talked about our future and how we would have the little white house with the white picket fence.

 

So yes your not the only person who has been hurt. I don't think my problems are in anyway worse than yours. I just read your post and said to myself that a man sitting aroung waiting for this woman is crazy. Your too young to waste your time on someone who already moved on.

 

Gaz do what you want!

 

hubman

[Gaz]

Thanks, I appreciate your reply. I think we should just agree to disagree. I appreciate your honesty. But in any case it doesn`t stop me wanting to understand, I am not wasting my life, in fact the opposite, I am loving life and trying to search out the truth. My life is in no way hindered by this woman, in fact Ive never had so much fun in all my life being single!

I may be old fashioned but I always search for the truth, if that offends I am sorry, Hubman.

[lunatic]

Hey guy,

 

You have not offended me in anyway. Yes I agree we disagree lol. It happens and ultimately it is your life. You should do what ever makes you happy. Hey I do agree with you on the point that sometimes we don't get the closure that we would like.

 

Good luck! 8)

 

Hubman