Do they really not care or is all an illusion?

[ned2010]

many have said how there ex's contacted them over a period of time from 2 weeks to 2 months

 

do ex's really not think about you for a certain amount of time before they decide to think about you weeks later?

[kennyc90]

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

[SicFounder]

They're probably thinking about you all the time, which is why they call. It all depends on how long it takes for the person to finally give in.

[stormie]

Ex's do think about you - it's only human - but it depends to what extent. For instance, they'll think about you less if they're with someone else. And if that were the case, it's usually to justify themselves being or leaving you for their current love.

 

If your ex did not leave you for someone else, chances are that they are thinking about you frequently, BUT they're preventing themselves from contacting you as they are really trying to move on with their lives.

[SWEET_J]

It would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to NOT think about an ex..even if you tried to force

yourself not to. Even if their only thoughts arre negative..they are still thoughts.

If you mean do they think of you in a good, positive light...I am certain they do after

enough time has passed and they have time to really miss you and get passed the negativity.

That was my long answer...

[kennyc90]

It would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to NOT think about an ex..even if you tried to force

yourself not to. Even if their only thoughts arre negative..they are still thoughts.

If you mean do they think of you in a good, positive light...I am certain they do after

enough time has passed and they have time to really miss you and get passed the negativity.

That was my long answer...

 

I agree with your answer.

[ned2010]

some ex's make it look soooo easy

[thekid55]

some ex's make it look soooo easy

 

You don't know that though. Maybe some ex's need to hide their phones at night so they won't feel tempted to contact. Maybe they just bury themselves with activities so they limit how much they think about it.

 

However, when they put their head on their pillow at night, anything is fair game.

[Ariel85]

My ex told me flat out once that he was hurt by something that happened between us, but also quickly added he would never have let me know it.

 

Point is, people DO think about you and DO hurt. Just like you do. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean they're not affected.

[ned2010]

thats a fair point, must depend on the person

[ForumGuy]

I thought my most recent ex didn't care about anything and had moved on easily. We were NC 5.5 weeks when she contacted me and I told her I was "trying to move on and feeling good about myself"...she said "at least somebody is". She was the dumper and not doing that well though you would never have known. Wish I could be her friend (so does she) and wish I could return some contact, but no way. I hope she is doing better now, I know I am.

[pillowtalk]

Some people are avoidant, meaning they like to avoid things like conflict, uncomfortable feelings, sadness, etc. It's a way of coping. In a way it makes sense -- why expose yourself to something that you will make you feel bad? This is the reason why NC is so good to help you heal.

 

Sometimes I think not hearing from my ex is actually a sign that he DOES care and that it's hard for him, too. But who knows?

 

I said this before on here, but a week after our breakup we talked on the phone, and I said something like, "You're so robotic! Do you even care?" And he said, "Just because I appear one way, it doesn't mean it's how I really feel..."

 

However, if I had never questioned him, I would have just assumed he didn't care at all.

[doyathink]

They're probably thinking about you all the time, which is why they call. It all depends on how long it takes for the person to finally give in.

 

Yep. you say give in I say give up lol. youre on their mind 24/7 but for how long just depends on the person, and the depth of love I would assume.

[gstan132]

I wish I knew if my ex cared because I did No contact and she keeps following me and knowing exactly where I'm going to be furthermore she gets jealous when I talk to other girls

[Carus]

Ex's will never forget you...even if they wanted to, they cannot...(short of a complete memory wipe)

 

A lot of people will go straight into another RS therefore bottling up the emotions of the current breakup....

 

And just like a 'Trigger' will have you in tears in the early days, they too may one day find an old photo of you, or a gift you gave them etc etc, and the emotions they did not deal with back then will come hurtling out of the box!

 

My ex's rebound actually worked out and they will be together for an extended period now......

 

If their RS starts to falter though and she contacts me in the future is in the realms of the unknown....It is usually in times like that though, that you will hear from an ex....it happens more often than one would think...

 

My rebound (yes I had a short one) even admitted that after coming out of her recent 6 year RS she did start looking up old BF's....

 

My good friend got an email this week from an ex he hasn't heard of nor seen for 7 years....!

 

There was another ENAer recently who recieved the "I never stopped loving you" email after 10 years....!

She of course though, has totally moved on and even remarried...

 

But there you go....

 

Stay Up*

K2* 8)

[MakeItCount]

Definitely depends on the person and the reason you broke up. Everything's been pretty much covered in the thread. I know my ex thinks about me a lot. They tend to put on a tough exterior - but at the same time they will always miss you. However, missing someone could just mean missing the closeness of having a significant other there for you. Do not mistake this as wanting to get back together. A bit of skepticism goes a long way. But remember, only you know how much you each meant to each other. Think about it and decide for yourself. IF you were a significant part of their lives, they WILL miss you, no matter what you may think, what they say, or how they act.

 

Take my word for it.