My Ex... Who!?

[Rob1000]

Hi Guys,

 

I don’t come on here very often any more, as I made the tough decision back in April to leave the forum and move on from talking about my ex, or indulging in my own self pity. But I thought I'd come on and share with you how I’m doing after a splitting up with my ex almost 2 years ago (21 months).

 

To cut a long story short, I was with my ex for almost 5 years. We lived together and were engaged to be married in October 2009. In February 2009, 8 months shy of our ‘big’ day, we split up and my life fell apart.

 

The following 12 months were horrible. Actually ‘horrible’ doesn’t come close. My life was over as far as I was concerned. Finished; I had nothing.

 

It was almost a year before we laid eyes on each other again, and even with feelings evidently still there, there was nothing I could do to win her back. That was February 2010 and that was the last contact I had with her. It was only then when I really started to get over her.

 

Anyway, to cut the grass shorter, I hardly even think about her any more. As far as I know, she’s shacked up with some dude, and I couldn’t care less. I fully expect to hear news some day soon that she’s engaged again – and good luck to her.

 

Me? I’m fine. Actually, I’m better than fine. I’m single, happy, and confident and way better off without my ex. Actually, that sounds mean, like it matters! She’s a nice girl, we had fun together and I wish her well. To be perfectly honest, I even feel silly writing this about her. Call it indifference, if you will.

 

I guess the message is, you’ll be fine. I wasn’t fine at one time, but I’m more than fine now. If you want proof, my story is well documented on here, if you fancy a loooooonnnnng read. Just take every day and every moment as it comes. Learn from it, embrace it and you’ll come out the other side, I promise.

 

If you're going through hell, keep going....

 

Big love,

Rob

[coolchick64]

Hey Rob! I remember your story well. Soooo glad to hear you're doing well. Really appreciate the update and the inspiration!

[inshockguy]

Thanks Rob,

I need all the help I can get.

 

(Coolchick, I love your location. Just noticed it).

[doiiiieeezie]

Rob,

 

Glad to see that you dropped by and that things are going well for you! I wish you happiness in the future.

[ReneinDC]

That's great Rob what great inspiration!

[bri427]

gives us all hope on here congrats Rob

im almost at a year mark with my BU, so i know all too well how hard the first year is on the heart.

needless to say, im in such a better place NOW then i was 11 months ago. the journey has been hard, but ive learned so much along the way.

i have respect for my ex, i wish him well even in times i shouldnt. if u were to ask me 11 months ago itd be different lol.

days come and go, some are better than others but all in all...i wasnt defeated like i thought i was back then.

so for those in disbelief that it gets better...oh its does!!! mark my word, it does!!!

[jaylh25]

Hey mate good to hear off you.. we're old timers now.. nothing like time to heal the wounds. Glad your doing well.

[petite]

Rob, I'm so glad you're doing well!

[Rob1000]

Hey mate good to hear off you.. we're old timers now.. nothing like time to heal the wounds. Glad your doing well.

Hey Jay.. yeah I read some of the newer posts now and can relate to where I was back then. How are you doing??

[jaylh25]

Hey Jay.. yeah I read some of the newer posts now and can relate to where I was back then. How are you doing??

 

Yep I'm doing ok thanks mate, miss her or the idea of her from time to time but like you, im single, happy and got my mo-jo back! Life is good again. Ex is still shacked up with same guy, was still sending me the usual messages until I finally grew a pair and told her to sling her hook a few months back. Funny how time puts a different dynamic on things. Good to hear off you and things going well.

[smurfy1988]

Inspiring post mate, I am very interested in reading your thread if you can link it on here.

[Rob1000]

Inspiring post mate, I am very interested in reading your thread if you can link it on here.

 

It's all here dude... 88 threads of it!!

 

 

 

or in 1 thread..

 

 

[prettymommy]

Love it Rob.

 

People are so scared of being single.... I know I was for the longest time.

 

Now I can't remember another period of my life when I had more fun, or felt more "wanted" ; my calander is constantly booked 6-8 weeks out w/events and outings with friends and such. I hardly ever feel lonely. I know there were relationships in my past where I felt far lonelier while IN them than I do now totally single and fancy-free.

 

 

Glad you are embracing this time in your life. Live it up!

[iBroken]

Welcome back Rob.......Thanks for posting a postive update. I know you were having a hard time with things.

 

Glad to hear it all turned around.

[1guygirl]

ah remember you Rob...thanks for stopping by and giving peeps something positive to bear in mind when everything seems very dark...youre an inspiration

[smurfy1988]

I am threading through your post one by and and was wondering why the forum does not have your name sticky'ed under "If you think your situation is bad, read this!" no pun intended

[smurfy1988]

Do you remember when you started to feel better Rob?

[Rob1000]

Do you remember when you started to feel better Rob?

 

It's a very gradual thing smurf. Your head and heart let go more and more and you start to feel less and less. You begin to forget things. The habits and associations die off. I guess it was really the beginning of summer when I really started to really feel as if I was getting over it. But even then, at the beginning of August, when I found out she was in a serious relationship, it hurt a little, but I let go a little more when I found that out. I'm still letting go, but I don't think about her very much at all. If I do, it's only a fleeting thing.

 

We're all different. Some people will let go and start to heal faster than others. Me, it was a very slow process.

[MnSnR]

I hear ya

[smurfy1988]

Hey Rob you give hope its real definition, even though you are past all the drama hopefully you can stay and give your help because you have really been there.

[Rob1000]

Hey Rob you give hope its real definition, even though you are past all the drama hopefully you can stay and give your help because you have really been there.

 

There's no emotion I haven't experienced over the past 2 years. You simply survive everyday because thats all you know how to do. I'm still sad in some ways that it all collapsed because, in spite of everything, my ex is a really nice person with many wonderful qualities and I miss her around. But in the end, I want someone who is unable to walk away from me, and that's not her.

[smurfy1988]

I downloaded and watched 500 days of summer from one of your threads.. everytime I down i take a dose of Rob1000's thread and it instantly eases and gets me up to do my activity

[Rob1000]

I downloaded and watched 500 days of summer from one of your threads.. everytime I down i take a dose of Rob1000's thread and it instantly eases and gets me up to do my activity it's a great movie! I'm glad my posts help you in some way.

[sunday2010]

There's no emotion I haven't experienced over the past 2 years. You simply survive everyday because thats all you know how to do. I'm still sad in some ways that it all collapsed because, in spite of everything, my ex is a really nice person with many wonderful qualities and I miss her around. But in the end, I want someone who is unable to walk away from me, and that's not her.

 

I joined here in June 2010.BU was May this year its now six montsh some days I'm ok but today I wasn't... but i usually pick up again.Its certainly a rollercoaster.My ex walked away and threw me on the street we were together 3 yrs and ten months w e had only been living together only six months and it was OVER.Reading your story has given me hope!!! I hope i can get to where you are and be OKay.I have tried dating and it hasn't gone well.nobody I have met has been interested in me. I have no idea why, I have liked a few they didn't like me.My BU was traumatic and I held on for four months hoping he would come back... i know he won't...the last six montsh have been awful and I'm trying to climb out everyday but its not easy..thanks for your post!!! days like today for no reason come but i hav eto hope they go as well...

[Rob1000]

Days like today will surely come, but they will also surely go as well. Don't worry about dating for now. It's possible, even though you don't see it, that you're reflecting your sadness outwardly. I remember when I first started dating, even though I was fit, healthy and in great shape, I wasn't attracting anyone. It was because my inner turmoil was reflecting outwards, even though I couldn't see it. I look back at photos from that period post break up, and I can now see how my break up was affecting the way I looked. I had 'sadness' written right accross my face. It's possible you do too. So don't worry about it.

 

The way I see it is, there's nothing you can do about it. You're on a path and you're following that path. You're headed towards your true self, and your next love is on a path too, and his path will meet yours some day... it's just a matter of when.