InaDaze87 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I will try to keep this as short as possible. My ex and I just recently broke up about 3 weeks ago due to complications in our relationship (new to long distance, her starting law school, loss of passion, etc.) It's pretty much boils down to we both love each other dearly and really want to be together but because of the distance and other issues we just can't manage a working relationship at this point in our lives. Check out my previous post to get more details if you have the time. After 3 weeks of NC I miss her dearly and made the rash decision to ask her if we could still have sex. I know, I know....not the smartest move My biggest concern is that she said yes it would be ok. Of course this brought up a ton of other questions as to how this would affect our current situation and problems it could cause. It also made me think what if this could be the jump start we need to get back the passion we are missing to make us want to try harder to make things workout between us despite all of the issues we have. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Honestly, fwb with an ex is not usually the best idea. Did you guys talk about whether or not you intend to get back later on? If it's just a fling, you have to accept that there are no strings attached. Can you handle that or will you always want something more? These situations are rather iffy sometimes. Please think about it before you actually do it. Link to comment
DateAndConfuse Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 That sounds fun and all but I wouldn't put to much hope on it meaning anything serious. Just sounds fun to may. Play it cautiously Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 It is a bad idea. The dumpee is likely to get very hurt. Link to comment
Happens4aReason Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 It is a bad idea. The dumpee is likely to get very hurt. I totally agree... When this phase is gonna end, the dumpee will get VERY hurt and even might end up hating the dumper.. Link to comment
InaDaze87 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 Honestly, fwb with an ex is not usually the best idea. Did you guys talk about whether or not you intend to get back later on? If it's just a fling, you have to accept that there are no strings attached. Can you handle that or will you always want something more? These situations are rather iffy sometimes. Please think about it before you actually do it. We honestly don't know yet if we will get back together. She is in law school almost 2 hours away and can't manage a relationship at this time in her life. We haven't even discussed our future together just because of everything that has been going on between us. Today would have actually been our 2 year anniversary. She has said that she doesn't mind if we see other people just because she knows how hard her being in law school has been on the relationship but I don't know if I really agree with that just because I know she is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Honestly, if she's already telling you that she is open to the idea of seeing other people. You can expect that she will be doing just that. If you already mentioned that you don't know if you would be able to accept that, because you see yourself wanting to settle with her, your best bet is to not sleep with her. Otherwise, you will only be hurt and be left in square one time and time again. Fwb only works when both parties are not looking for anything serious. When feelings are involved, it will never go smoothly. This is especially difficult in your situation because you still love her, and want to be with her. Link to comment
Blackey Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Bad idea...if you guys really love each other, eventually somebody gonna get hurt due to the attachment involved in having sex and in addition seeing each other. Link to comment
InaDaze87 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 Honestly, if she's already telling you that she is open to the idea of seeing other people. You can expect that she will be doing just that. If you already mentioned that you don't know if you would be able to accept that, because you see yourself wanting to settle with her, your best bet is to not sleep with her. Otherwise, you will only be hurt and be left in square one time and time again. Fwb only works when both parties are not looking for anything serious. When feelings are involved, it will never go smoothly. This is especially difficult in your situation because you still love her, and want to be with her. I totally agree. I was thinking the same thing. However, I must admit that kinda at the beginning I was the first one to bring up seeing other people just because I felt like I needed companionship that she is not able to give me right now. I didn't plan on having sex with anyone else or actually dating, just having someone to talk to and confide in because I felt like I had lost my best friend in her. Of course, she was not happy with the idea and felt as though I was trying to replace her. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Even if you were the one who decided to bring up the issue on seeing other people, it is her who is agreeing to it now. Perhaps she didn't like the idea from the getgo, but she is opening up to it now? Is this truly what you want? Honestly, it's bad enough that you're still trying to be with her, but can you imagine having to share her with someone else? If you have any doubts about it, then don't do it! Link to comment
faithful14 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I know you want to do it, but I really don't think it's a good idea. It's only going to hurt and leave (if not one) but both of you more confused. Link to comment
arcadefire Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 This is bad, she's open about seeing other people and I bet she plans to have sex with other people in law school. You should try your best to not contact her. Link to comment
ben2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I'm in your shoes before when my ex and I met up we always end up having sex, but I realized is a bad idea. We are in the same boat my ex dump me for other guys. Now, if she told you she is going to see other people just image you having sex now, she can also have sex with other guy she met. How would you feel when you think of that? If you just want to have one night stand then ok, but if you trying to get her back, this will be a really bad idea. Link to comment
Capthxc Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 Bad idea. If the option was open for me to have fwb sex with the ex i would try my hardest to avoid it. In situations like these someone always ends up getting hurt. Seems to be the general consensus around here as well. Link to comment
.thumb.jpeg.44db4c04df92b9d233296a0149430b4d.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.