Missiing her a little today.

[Nappyloxs]

So I have been thinking of my ex.

 

I guess it started when I was hang out with my friends who are married and pregnant. They really have seen me since the breakup as I have been avoiding being around my friends who are in relationships. They are really a great couple.

 

My ex and I haven't acted in a lovely way forever. Reading Uncoupling, perfectly explained the transgressions in my relationship with my ex.

 

I guess it is sad how negatively she viewed me and the relationship and how she slow pulled away no matter how much I tried.

 

I remember once we were driving through the rich area of town. Million dollar homes and she asked would I ever get her one of those homes. I said of course, if I had the money. And that my goal is to have money and although it may not be million dollar homes, it would be something nice.

 

She blew me of saying. "you just said that because you knew it was what I wanted to hear." The truth was I really did mean it.

 

It's just strange. 3.5 years together. The last 2.5 slowly became worst and worst, but through it all I still loved her more than anything. I saw her slowly pulling away, but still loved her so much.

 

Now my life is change for the better because of my job change. I know if I would have had this job for the last 2.5 years a lot would have been different.

 

I guess I go through a difficult path in life, in both romance and career, to learn to appreciate things more. My mom once wrote us both an email about how I do take a different path than others, but that I always have a plan and land on my feet. I wish my ex. would have seen it the same way. She always though I was just a failure.

 

Having said that, I am actually doing good. I just wrote this because I kind of miss her this morning. I start my job on Monday and honestly, I am a little scared and she isn't here for me to share my fears with or to just be happy for me. It's nice having my friends be all excited for me, but it isn't the same.

 

It is like her last text to me (her last communication), it is for the best of both of us.

[RougeKali823]

In order to heal you are going to have to start ignoring the times when you miss her and instead fill that void with goals, hobbies and whatever else might work to assist you in getting over her. I have seen your posts for about a year now and I totally understand missing a past relationship. I have been there but a great way to move on is to stop giving them energy. It might be helpful to think of what positive things you gleaned from that experience rather than go over what went wrong because if there is no hope of reconciliation then the latter is futile.

[Aurora11]

You're not a failure at all... it's tough to take those first steps towards being alone again because often the ex is also the best friend who shares everything with you. Since you know it's for the best... then stay strong. =) Don't look back. Don't allow yourself to regret anything. Just keep looking forward and focus on the small goals you have first. You've got an amazing job now. So, focus on that. Slowly time will pass and the numbing feeling will go away a tiny bit at a time.

[lia86]

I completely understand. It's like your best friend is just gone. I think the thing I miss the most is the tough moments when he used to be there for me, and now I have to go through them all alone. Yes, friends help. No, they are not the same.

 

I think missing them is a part of the healing process. You hear all the time to just forget about it, focus on other things, but if you don't freakin think about it, how are you going through the healing process?

 

Personally, the only thing that's ever helped me is talking about it, thinking about it, feeling, questioning, over and over and over again until you get to the point where there just are no more answers and your mind just kind of naturally gives up on it and starts to focus on other things. It's very gradual; it feels about as slow as rock formation. They say not to obsess. The only way I've EVER figured out how not to obsess is to obsess, obsess and obsess. For me it's always kind of gone away gradually if I just give myself permission to feel the whole damn thing out for a little while.