I'm getting lonely and want a girlfriend REAL bad

[myplague234]

I hate it...everyone around me has relationships and they're all happy and getting all comfortable (if you know waht i mean) with each other and it pisses me off. I've tried several times to get a good girlfriend to have this kind of relationship, but everytime something messes it up. Im sending this out to mainly women, i want to kno how to get inside your heads, figure you out, and start something meaningful. any advice would be appreciated.

[Sweets4u42]

Let's see...do you know what youre doing to ''mess'' the relationship up? (i.e. always fighting or arguing, etc. )or does it always just seem to end

[myplague234]

WEll actually they never really fully became relationships, they were things where i would get real close with the person, always being myself and then suddenly they had some kind of shift and hated me or wouldnt talk to me. i always take the blame for anything and im the nice guy so they just rejected me and knew i wouldnt really be a mean person. i just feel like a tool and need to figure out how to get a good relationship.

[Caldus]

Hey don't worry you're already ahead of me and I'm 19. You have tried multiple times to be in a relationship while I'm still trying to just find a date in the first place. LOL.

 

You have tons of time to search for the right person. You are very young and there is a lot ahead of you (same goes for me). So just keep trying and enjoy other things in life in the meantime.

[myplague234]

hey well thanks for the input....i just get tired off all the ppl around me all happy in couples and stuff...

[goldennugget]

i know exactly what you mean, its happening everywhere with me but not TO me. im gonna go crazy at some point, what ends up happening is that i really like girls and then if i manage to get good friends with them i become REALLY good friends and it ruins the whole chance of actually being with them. i have no idea how to make myself the kind of person to go out with instead of becoming really good friends with. its always the same, i guess there must be some type of look that makes girls think of going out instead of friendship i dunno, but if someone discovers it please tell me

[myplague234]

Thats pretty much what happened to me. I was friends with her then we became good friends then all chances of a relationshop was blown to hell. Is it normal maybe for that person to become a little distant though?

[Francis]

Hi MyPlague :

 

You seem a rather intelligent and mature young man for your age. It is normal that you would feel lonely sometimes and want a gf real bad.

 

But since you are very serious about being in a good relationship, it is better for you not to get involved with the first girl that want to be your gf. It would be better for you to look for the right person.

 

I did not get the impression that you were a shy guy, on the contrary you seem to know how to flirt, etc. First of all, being flirtatious could back lash on you : women don't like flirtatious guys.

 

I advice you to get to know a lot of girls on a friendly basis, take them for ice cream, perhaps to have a drink (not to the restaurant nor to the movies yet) and study their behaviour. If they ask you to buy something for them : that is bad news they may be used to get gifts from men or they may perceive men as bank machines. If they offer sex too early : bad news again, they may seek to manipulate you, especially at that age.

 

If they have major problems in their lifes, sooner or later those problems will affect you. For instance, if their parents seem to lack good values, she probably is the same. See how they behave with you and with others. If they trash other people, other girls particularly, it could mean they are insecure which you don't seem to be.

 

Then, after knowing a number of girls quite closely you will be able to take the next step when you find a girl who is secure and balanced as yourself, and someone who shares the same values as yourself. Then you can take her to the movies, restaurant (does not need to be an expensive restaurant).

 

Good luck!

[Lily04]

I agree with Francis - don't go for the first girl that looks your way because you're feeling lonely. I completely know the feeling but when someone you truly care about comes into your life you'll know and will have a good relationship. You're still really young & I also think you sound mature and intelligent for your age, which may make it more difficult to find girls your age. But don't worry, you'll find one soon enough. Everyone goes through this stage, it SUCKS, but will be over eventually. My advice is to think about other things and don't dwell on this and when the right person comes along, ask her out..'til then don't stress about it, it's just making your life more stressful than necessary.

[Tombo123]

I'm in the same situation at the moment.. I've been single for 5 years and it has been lonely.. very lonely.. I feel the same way as you.. I really want a girlfriend.. but I've been thinking to myself.. if its been that long, i might aswell keep going.. I cant just pick a girl and start liking her so I can go out with her for the sake of it.. I go to bed every night and I think of one of the closest female friends I have.. there are a couple I know and I have known them for a few years now.. they're going out with people though..

 

I'm not giving up.. I'm still looking and i have done for the last 5 years so I'm not holding back..

 

By the way.. do people say to you that it isnt possible to go out with [name of girl] or [name of girl]? I had that in my last school.. I have just left so I'm on my own now.. I've had confidence from others, but it has not helped much.. My brothers are not helping much either

 

Well its nice to see that some one else is feeling the same.. Good Luck Mate

[myplague234]

hey thanks for the adice everyone..i will definitely consider what Francis said. Good luck to you Tombo...i kno how it is with the close female friend thing too...i have the same problem. I also have the "you cont go out with this girl" thing at my school. well thanks again.

[JonnyG]

Your not at the best age right now. During 15-18 many girls hav a habit of looking for the older fella. At least that was the case with me at my school. Quite sad really when all the girls kept coming in and were gloating about how old their bf was. Generally the older the better. SAD!!

 

Your only 15 m8. dont sweat it. Go play some sport or something

[madhornet]

Yeah I know all about friends who are all 'coupled up' - all of mine are now possibly with the exception of one who doesn't live near me anymore anyway.

 

I wouldn't worry about it so much at 15 (I know it's easily said), I mean I'm 27 and never even had a girlfriend but I try to take my mind off my single status with other things and keep hoping the miracle of finding a girlfriend will happen if I don't look (I tried that and it doesn't work girls can sense desperation so easily) What keeps me thinking there's a chance it could happen to me is around my age girls will play less mind games so I don't have to do the same when I don't want to.

 

There's always introductions through friends, and even if that doesn't work then I suppose introductions through their friends etc. It's something I'm going to try - that way my friends will know whether they're the right girl(s) for me.

[myplague234]

yeah ive pretty much given up on it now. im just gonna spend my time with things that make me happy. thanks you for the advice though everybody.

[alexander]

And for those whose lives are meaningless?

Nothing makes me happy now. I can't even watch TV. Everything is meaningless.

And antidepressants don't work. They just make it harder to cry.

But I still manage. To cry all the time.

[Tombo123]

I think I'm starting to be really good friends with a French student at the moment.. I think she likes me more than a friend so.. she's shown signs.. Read my 'Advice on talking to girls... please!!' thread.. If u want.. 5 years for me without a gf and I'm 16.. There were younger girls at my Secondary school who liked me [fancied me] and there was one that I liked too.. I've left school now and I'm on my own to find the right girl..

[Shinobie]

dont worry im in the same exact situation as you just find a hobby to get grls off ur mind.I feel that ahh i prolly wouldnt be able to get a gf so i just wake up play games till night fall asleep.Then ill go to work when i have too and stuff or hang around with friends.But i mosly just play on my computer because it keeps my mind away from that and when i think about that it makes me feel really bad.

[Tombo123]

Shinobie.. get involved! Computer games isn't going to get you anywhere! I admit I loved playing games and going on the computer, but I don't do that most of my time.. I go out on my bike down town, do sports, I'm getting a job soon.. To find someone, u need to be outside! That's how I met with a very good friend that lives over the other side of town.. she's real nice, but she's going out with someone, but she is still interested in me!

 

!!Get Involved!! and Good Luck..

[myplague234]

yea i just play video games a lot....its getting my mind off of women now.

[Tombo123]

I admit it.. I used to play video games SO much it was sad.. my brothers kept telling me not to do it because it was so sad.. I used to ignore them.. then I realised it was really sad, so I stopped playing as much and started to move on by going to the outside world.. I realised also that I'm making lots more friends than before.. It's great!

 

I'm going to College soon doing Performing Arts [Drama AND Dance], and I'm sure to meet new people there.. I've basically got involved.. Still single, but i'm still fighting to find the right girl.. It's a difficult and slow time, but everyone goes through this 'stage in life' as I say it.. I think people out there don't believe me..

 

Some people don't find love, and I think mostly because they haven't got involved!! It's a great feeling to be with others..

 

In my recent school, people used me because of my intelligence.. I thought that this would be good through a friendly stage, but then I realised they just used me, so I gave up staying in contact with most of them.. Being used is a terrible thought for me.. that's how I got upset and stayed away from people for a long period of time.. Now that time is over, I'm moving on!!

 

Just think about what I've said here.. And good luck to the people out there in the same situation out there..

[Shinobie]

Well man i used to be an extremely outside addicted person who was very atheletic back when i was young.Now i just keep on getting more and more depressed sometimes and life seems to be getting a lot harder wish i can go back to the youngin days wher ei didnt have all of this on my mind dude.Ive tried going out on 2 separates with a girl my friends wanted me to go out with occasions man in liek the last 3 weeks but i came back really depressed and now im just surpressing it by staying inside i feel afraid to even be around women feel so pathetic.i feel i just ahve so much fun with people in these game slike the lan i went to last saturday it felt so good they were all just like me and i had a great time.I know man let me just spend some time like this cause i know ill maybe geta lil bit happier and actually try some stuff once again but lets just hope it doesnt bring me back feeling extremlely down becuase now i know the pain of deep depression i hate it.

[Tombo123]

thats what i did.. i stayed away from others by staying inside playing computer games.. I did play for a long time, until i moved on away from school.. i'm moving to College to meet new people and stop playing as much computer games.. its a good feeling..

 

how long have u stayed away from others?

[madhornet]

The first time I really felt down about never having had a girlfriend was about a year again (when I was 26). I don't know why but I think it was more to do with the fact my job was really stressful and things were stressful at home and generally things getting on top of me so I looked for comfort by actively searching for a gf. This only resulted in me looking like an idiot because I seemed so desperate and made me feel worse. Fortunately things picked up in my job and that made things at home a lot better and I just generally started feeling better about things generally.

 

I still get very stressed with work and not having a gf still gets me down a bit but I've decided to concentrate on bettering my career, studying for my exams and socialising by doing the things I enjoy doing. OK so it may not result in finding a gf and most of my friends around me having one doesn't help much but as long as I'm doing things I like and having fun what else can I do?

 

Am I right in thinking that there are external factors other than just not having a gf that make a lot of us feel this way? I know for certain that's the case with me.

[Tombo123]

This is to MyPlague..

 

Most, nearly all, of my friends have gf's/bf's right now and its making me lonely not being part of the group.. Not long ago, we went to a place to all meet up, and I got there and everyone I know has a girlfriend! I was the only one without one.. All I'm saying is mate.. Some other people said this in the forum and I now agree.. right now for me and you.. we're too young.. few [maybe less] years time, I may start to look for a girlfriend.. even though i'm going to College in September, it doesn't mean that there's going to be the girl / the one.. there's plenty of fish in the sea, and you just need the right personal hook to catch them with..

 

Just hold that pain in.. the pain that's hurting you because you're lonely.. I feel the same.. I'm holding that pain in.. It hurts, but I'm strong.. And so you must be..

 

Well.. good luck mate..