goldennugget

hey this post isnt about me as such, its that i have found out that one of my mates tried to go to his ex girlfriends house and kept telling her that he missed her and he kept trying to kiss her. Now for the problem- hes going out with my best friend, and i know that something like this would completely crush her, shes never been happier than since shes been going out with him. But i dont know what to do, should i tell her? would it really help? or do i keep it quiet and possibly hurt her more in the long run. I cant decide what i should do, do you think i should talk to him about it or what? I dont want to cause anything bad between them because he is everything to her and i know how bad something like this would get her. I know he was drunk and all but does it still mean that he likes his ex? please help quickly

Hey, its been a while since i posted, lots of things i dont want to go into now. But a new problem has arisen, I seem to be losing my best friends left right and center to each other and its becoming horrible now. Firstly one of my best friends (who i fell in love with and have only recently got over) has started going out with another of my mates (everyone keeps reminding me hes better than me). Now two of my very best friends have started going out and now i dont see them anymore, i used to speak to them everyday and see them at least twice a week, but now ive seen them both for 20 minutes together in the past 3 weeks. Thats 2 couples made from my best friends, and now im left all alone and i was always the one that was in that position (leading to problems i avoided at the top of the post). And the last of my closest friends has got new friends and also has become a type of person i dont like anymore I wish i could hang around with them as couples but even though i find it hard to see them together because i am so lonely, i dont even get the chance as they brush me off for each other. I dont really know what to do about it, its inching into my past depression which i though i was over and i dont want to fall into that again, HELP!

As an update, since i am drunk and have taken enough pareacetamol to kill me, luke and nina are loving it toghether, she is staying at his tonight. the only person i hace fallen in love with has fuc ked over just like the rest. luckily i dont think ill be here in the morning to care. i hope you guys have a better life than me, i dint care if its a cowards way outt, ive never been properly happy and i wish you guys all the luck you can get, please enjoy the last of what i have left. THe song i wrote about it all is below: nina you gave me a face for my love now your gonna go and rip it up nina your the one that i love please dont go and leave me in the dust how can i compare with someone as good as him how can i compare if i have nothing to give how can i compare if im never going to win how can i compare, how can i compare with him nina you gave me a face for my love now please dont go and rip it up nina you know that i love you but how can i ever compare ever compare with luke and thats it, it has music and everything, but i guess its not good enough. have fun, i know i didnt.

I have indeed lost a lot of respect for luke over the weekend, he is a great guy but i dont think he was ever over rachel. Nina told luke that she didnt want to break up a relationship, but it seems it happened anyway. I know your trying to help, but please dont bad mouth the people i like (both luke and nina, because both are good friends). i know i need to stay away from it all because i know itll hurt, but its one of those really hard things which noone ever wants to be the final answer to a situation. I just wish this hadnt happened and i wish that luke wasnt better than me at everything which makes me me. I guess all i can do is attempt not to make a fool out of myself and just live to better me not to worry about others. thanks for the posts, anyone else with any other help would be VERY much appreciated.

Im going to use the peoples names because i dont believe they will come on here (i hope) and because i find it hard trying to remember what i have renamed people. My good friend Luke has got a girlfriend called Ruth, they have been going out for about a year. His ex girlfriend is called Rachel and they went out for about 2 years and were first loves and neither of them are really over each other because of that original connection for them. (this will become relevant later) There is a girl called Nina who i was recently introduced to by my other friend. Nina is the one im falling in love with, she is stunningly beautiful and i find her to be really easy to talk to and joke around with, she actually makes me more confident and i dont mess up when talking to her etc. Since i have met her we have met up a lot with each other and friends and at parties and she is always really flirty with me and we always have a brilliant time. Last friday we went to a party together to celebrate the end of exams, but i didnt really know anyone because they were all her friends, but luckily she stayed with me pretty much all night and by the end we were becoming really close and affectionate. The problem is that she really likes Luke and i know this for a fact and he likes her, but hes going out with Ruth. On saturday i had a few people over and people got drunk etc. Nina, luke and rachel all came, but luke was very flirty with rachel(the ex) but he also got quite blatantly annoyed when me and Nina were sitting together and talking and so on. At the end of the night luke and rachel ended up kissing, then luke got really weird and stormed out after talking to nina about something and she ran after him and stood outside hugging him and talking with him for about half an hour. Me and the rest of my friends (including rachel) all went to bed and nina and luke stayed up all night talking. The next morning there was bits of tension but everything seemed generally ok. Annoyingly i was stupid and was quite angry about luke and nina since i always feel cheated because i never have the good luck and im not as good as luke and didnt really interact with everyone, i just made myself busy and cleaned the house up. A couple of times i caught Nina looking at me and she seemed quite disappointed with me or something, which made me feel even worse. Luke told ruth about what he did with rachel and about liking nina and she dumped him, luke talked with nina the same day about it all and said that he didnt think he was ready for a relationship (and probably because it would be hard for ruth). I know this all seems worse for them and it probably is, but since im posting it i need help with my problems with it not theirs. I really really like nina and could see myself with her definitely, but i dont know if she likes me or not or just wishes that i was luke. i dont want her to get hurt by going out with luke as hes still tangled up with rachel, but i dont want her to go out with him because it would hurt me (although not too seriously). I know i have to leave it because i dont want to be a bad guy or force anything on anyone, but i really dont know what to do, its just become so complicated and will become very painful im sure. Please anyone help me, i cant get it out of my head and its distracting me from everything else (i cant comprehend how it is for them)

Im the same, not the best looking, not very confident, not very lucky. At the moment im extremely lonely, the trouble is that im falling in love with a girl who likes my mate who has a girlfriend (there is much more to it, i may have to make my own post) but it just seems like i never get the girl, i never have the best times, im never the best at anything. Its extremely depressing and lonely, i know this wont really help much, but maybe we all need to know that there are so many others who are fighting for a good life and not just getting it handed to them.

it seems more people feel the same as me than i thought. but ive begun completely re-doing my life. i am making drastic changes to myself, thanks jetta for the meditation site and thanks to everyone for help. I have completely redone my room, i have changed my diet, i have started doing more art than i did before, im writing songs and playing guitar more than before, i am now exercising twice as much and will start meditation. my head is still in a mess and there are things i am still missing, but slowly things are making more sense to me about life. please people keep posting here as everything will help. Thank you

yea i have been told that i should try meditation because my biggest problem is that i think about things too much, if i just let go then im sure something would click and be right, but i just cant let myself let go because i feel like ill be losing something about me and that if i just live for the moment ill become one of the idiots out to drink and screw others up.

hey volution your describing exactly how ive become. everything i see now and everything i do is analysed by me until there is nothing left. I have tried so many times just to "turn the corner" and i have many times, but then it just leads me in a circle as i keep turning again and again. I let go once before and that was fine for a while until i got messed up by it and i came back to square one. it just seems so endless and i dont want to wait an eternity because it feels like i have already.

i dont believe i have found anyone in my whole life who cares. I have always been the kid in the corner who always seems so wraped up in their own world, who doesnt like other children that much because of how screwed up people are. I have never found anyone who wants to care for me as more than a friend, there is no one i have met who does things for other people at all, everyone i know is out for themselves and to get as drunk as possible and to mess up as much stuff as they can. No matter what i do, if i try and reach out to someone they reel. If i try and make myself better it just doesnt do anything, everything im slightly good at everyone else is a million times better at it. I really do just want to give up at life since it all seems so pointless and boring and lonely. There seems like nothing which can stimulate me anymore. Last night i was hit by a car but even that has not changed me in any way at all if anything its made me see how pointless and useless everything is, i cant create anything amazing and beautiful, im not either of those things myself and so what am i supposed to do, since if im not either of those things in this day and age who the hell am i at all. absolutely no one, so why carry on as nothing since nothing can never be multiplied to become anything more.

i know i must give her space and i know its not gonna happen overnight. I just want to make sure that it can happen in the future, i dunno what to do. Ive left her alone, ive talked to her, i just cant see anything making any change. I know she said there is something between us, but is that just in a friends way?

Recently i got really good friends with a girl ive known for quite a while, she is basically me but female, she likes and hates the same things as me, she thinks the same way, she is always in the same mood as me and empathises with everything i say etc. The other day her scarf got caught in the door of a train and almost choked her to death as it moved off, and she phoned me of all people afterwards. It made me really think and realise that i really couldnt lose her. So i asked her out (typically not me) and she said that "i think i kind of like you aswell and you're right that we are on a really similar wavelength and stuff and i think it could be really cool, but at the moment stuff with mikes [some guy she has liked for about a week or so] sort of on my mind quite a bit" And a conversation after that she said that "if its meant to be its meant to be " and im not sure what she meant. She also said "i think there is something there but i do need time to get over him, i know u know that", which i do understand but the rest of what she says confuses me. Now she says she seems me as a friend "i don't know we get on nicely but i just assumed were friends really which we have been and i'm just sort of set like that" Another ambiguous line. I really really like her and find that we are always connected in some way its really strange. But she seems to be getting futher from me and closer to me at the same time, im completely confused and dont know what to do. We are meeting up this weekend to watch a film at hers and are meeting for lunch before then, but i dunno if its just gonna lead to just being friends. PLEASE help i cant handle it, ive never felt like this, she just seems perfect to me.

im very insecure a lot of the time aswell and it definitely ruins things, Im sorry to hear about your childhood and i hope adulthood will/is treating you better. The only advice i can really offer is to attempt one day with your boyfriend where you decide that you are not going to think about insecurities etc (dont bottle it up, but when you are feeling like that take a deep breath and put your mind to something else like tell your boyfriend that you love him. It will make both of you feel better) go out and have a picnic or something, spend some time together and just enjoy yourself. Dont think about people's opinions not even his just have one day where you can satisfy your love for him (make sure he knows you are doing this so he can make you feel as special as im sure you are). Romanticise and bury yourself in him, love every part and you will realise he loves you back and that there is no real problem there.

im still in my crazy unsleeping mode if any of you read my post... but i was watching childrens cartoons and there was some turtle that found a stopwatch and he started timing himself and everybody at things and he kept finding that they were always faster than him. He got really upset and his friend borrowed the stopwatch, he later found his friends and a snail and they were timing how long it took for the snail to cross the bridge (and of course all the other animals could easily beat it) and yet the snail still seemed happy with it, when he talked to the snail and asked why she bothered when everyone else can easily beat her the snail said that she was trying to beat her own time and the turtle-kid-thing realised that even if he cant beat other people he can better himself. a very cheesy style tale and believe me it was baffling to watch after being awake for around 30 hours but it made sense that even if people are always beating you or doing better, if you can please yourself by bettering yourself then you will feel happier and soon others will treat you as you treat yourself.... damn i need some sleep

despite the last sentence of my previous rambling i have managed to stay awake for over 37 hours, im trying to stay awake for at least 48 hours. To tell the truth doing this has made me see truth, it all started with me not being able to sleep, i talked to one of my friends online and they couldnt either and so we made a bet to see who could stay up the longest. He fell asleep within a few hours. This has been a test for me (most people wont think 48 hours is a lot but hey try it) im quite a strong willed person but i wanted to test this and so i have stayed up. I have actually really enjoyed it to tell the truth, everything seems so perfect... so uncomplicated. anyway my room is now spotlessly clean, my guitar is restrung, i have started on a huge art piece and all my problems seem like nothing. I dont care if people dont approve, i dont care if people think im a complete crackpot. This was done to prove to myself that i can push myself and in doing so i have also found a weird and warped sense of enlightenment.... just wait till it all wears off and i realise im completely and utterly screwed over. wahey cant wait

it seems like most of the people here share your personality, i feel the same way as you (except not religious) i have the same trouble, i say "bury yourself in something beautiful and wait till death doth take us" but thats because ive become synical about the world since it has both exceded my expectations and destroyed them.

basically im feeling a bit pointless, i dont see where i come into anything in the world. Im not the best at anything i have no girlfriend, my friends (to me) have started seeming extremely childish and never really listen to me when i ask them not to do stuff (such as throwing one of those big red exercise balls at each other around my house). Ive grown a longing for the natural world and beautiful things and city life seems too much for me i feel like i need to get out of it and the way i usually do that is by listening to music, but even that has frustrated me because i am so in love with music and its so amazing that it feels like someone has broken my heart everytime i listen to it. I really wish i could write it myself and wish people would listen to my songs and say "wow he's good" or "hey he's captured a feeling so well and it makes me feel that". i want to make people know me i want to feel someone feel something for me or what i have created, i need an outlet for my emotion or i dont think i can hold it in. I have tried putting it into words or music but im just not good enough like everyone else is and it tears me up so much. Whenever people say they have had a bad day i listen and i help them as much as i can but it destroys me at the same time as i have all this pent up in me and i cant express it to anyone without it seeming completely and utterly rediculous and when i do talk to other people about it they either sneak in their troubles until the conversation is aimed only at them or something interrupts leaving me feeling still empty. Everything i do which i think makes me special i have found someone who does it a million times better and with no effort and they dont even care if they could do it or not. I feel horrible, as if im in love with someone who doesnt know i exist and i dont know what to do. Ugh im off to find some solice in sleep...

Recently ive been feeling worse and worse in waves. But its getting more frequent that i feel bad. Ive been feeling very strong feelings but undirected in any way, i feel really pent up and held back by something. ive been feeling inadiquate and as if everything i do is slightly futile. Ive been feeling lonely and increasingly bored with everything. I wish i knew what it was i was missing and i wish that there was someway to let out emotion like bleeding a radiator, i just feel like i have too much just sitting there trying to escape but its just frustrating me as i have no way of letting it out. And then i feel that by complaining and feeling bad im just whinging about nothing and that its really stupid since people have real problems. I just really needed to let out some feeling just by posting this cheers for listening to my pointless whining guys. see you later

hey, i do believe i have found my people. Recently i have been going in and out of loneliness ive felt very depressed and sometimes i find friends dont always take things seriously enough or i dont want to keep burdening them with my problems, but i thought i might pull out a lyric from a song i wrote when one of my friends tried to commit suicide a few months back, everyone i have shown this lyric to says its good so i hope it can help anyone feeling down. "Even rain no matter how tragic has its own little magic" its not much but everytime ive felt bad ive thought about that and its made me feel good on many occasions. Its a very personal song but i felt that if it helps me it (hopefully) will help others.

you need a feel good thing. something you find beautiful and meaningful and that you enjoy. I, and im sure many others use music. i play guitar so when i hear a piece of music or a song which i like, something atmospheric and feeling, i feel really serene and amazing. Its like being in love with something which cannot desert you. I cannot put into words how absolutely amazing listening to music is for me its just ... (phew i really cant put this into words no matter how hard i try). i know its supposed to be really depressing but i actually find Nick Drake really helps, if you listen to some of his stuff while lying in bed with a candle on the bedside table and just take in everything that has happened then you will come out feeling amazing. I really hope you can find something like this as it really has been a life saver for me since recently my friend tried to commit suicide and my uncle died of cancer (but those are a different story).

no one seems to get it, its not the usualy fights I just get annoyed even by her presense, she comes in the room and i want to leave. Even if she hadnt done anything, im constantly telling her not to do stuff and to grow up beacuse she really acts as though shes years younger. Shes just constantly getting on my nerves i dunno how not to be annoyed by her.

I always got into arguments with my sister, shes 12 and im 16 and so every little thing she does really gets on my nerves. She always got my parents support with things and it usually end up with me getting into trouble because she goes and whines to them. This holiday she went to devon with her friend for a week and a half and i had a really amazing time and i was constantly in a good mood, so when she came back almost instantly my amazing mood was destroyed and it left me REALLY angry. Until now i didnt realise that usually when she isnt around i have a really good time and im scared of actually hating my own sister, its really not like me im one of those really nice people and so i dont usually feel like this. I think the reason i mostly get angry by everything she does is that i think she crowds my space and it seems to me as if when shes around im pushed out. im guessing its one of those normal family jealousy type things but i cant help it, even if shes being nice to me i really despise it. Please someone tell me that its not just me this happens too, i hope im not just abnormal in my anger about this subject . i dunno how im supposed to get along with her. also i would just like to add that our arguments arent the heated type where people end up breaking things or shouting at each other its just me getting stressed at her and her whining until i shout then she leaves.

oh god this is pretty annoying, she went on holiday last week and she came back and she started talking to me. i asked her how it all was and she told me shes slept with a guy, shes met someone really nice which she says shes gonna 'see', but im not sure if its in that way, and she met loads of new guy mates which basically means she doesnt actually have interest in me and she is gloating about how great the holiday was, AHH. I cant take it especially since i hadnt thought that much about her (i was trying to not like her) she now seems to be rubbing it in my face. its just not very nice to hear

dreams dont actually give you the answers that you are looking for, they are there to balance out your feelings, so if you are worried about something you will dream something which will make you feel as though the problem is smaller and not so confusing or things like that. Dreams counter bad feelings. I read quite a bit on dreams by Jung and it was very interesting, im also doing psychology next year.

i go in and out of depression (not terribly bad though), but i have found the thing that makes me feel amazing and pulls me out of it is exercising. If you exercise for about 45 minutes then your bosy burns off fat supplies which gives you a lot of energy which makes you feel great, not just that but endorphines are released into your brain which makes you really happy. Plus you get into really good shape which can make you feel good about yourself. Another thing that i do is to set myself a project of some kind, give yourself a target of something which will get your mind off things and that you enjoy. i hope this helps some.