Another porn problem

[Lisa216]

 

 

Hello, I am a newbie here. I'm sure this has been discussed before but here it goes:

 

At first, it really bothered me that my boyfriend was looking at porn on the internet all the time. But then I realized that all guys do that and they need to "take care" of themselves sometimes. So, I compromised and told him I didn't mind if he did it when I wasn't around. I suppose I should have been more specific. About 30 minutes ago, we were both getting in the mood but I wanted to take a shower first. When I got out of the shower, there he is looking at the naked chicks again. I told him that it hurt my feelings that he was looking at other naked girls right before we were going to have sex. He didn't understand why it bothered me. Now he's in the shower and we're not exactly speaking. Any helpful advice?

[Gilgamesh]

mmm strange, my eX girl would sometimes ask me to put on that porno channel when we were spending the night together and doing one of our marathons,.

 

but everyone is different

[Lisa216]

 

 

Thank you for the reply.

 

Although, I don't really understand what it has to do with my problem. Neither one of us has lied to eachother. Thats not the problem.

 

THANKS ANYWAY!!!

 

Anyone ELSE have any suggestions?

[GreggT]

Yes, men do look at porno on the net from time to time, but it is in good taste not to do it around their lovers. I would be pissed off if a woman did that to me so this is not a "man/woman thing." Tell him not to do it around you. He is being rude. If he complains, there are sites out there for women to look at too. I hope you don't feel bad about this because he is the one being a jerk. Flush the toilet while he is in the shower.

[Eddie]

Agree with Gregg. It's very insensitive of your boyfriend. You need to communicate more with him about this in terms that he will empathise with...ask him if it would be OK if you put a picture of Vin Diesel next to him while you're having sex because Vin has a much better body and you would prefer to be having sex with him.

 

This will destroy your boyfriend's insensitivity I reckon...unless he's got a better body than Vin Diesel. But you get the idea.

 

I have started looking at porn since having all these problems with my girlfriend. I feel guilty about it sometimes, but if she was more passionate and more affectionate with me like she used to be...I wouldn't need it. Men DO need it, like clockwork...we can't get on with our lives without regular and frequent ejaculation...it's a fact of nature. Women, less so it seems, but it's there still. The number of times I've just been dying for my girlfriend just to simply put her hand down my pants and... but she won't do it unless she's getting something too...and she never seems to want it these days! Oh God, I'm such a porn fiend!

[Gilgamesh]

there is this stereotype that latin men and women are hot, and its not that they are hotter than the rest of us, its just they are brought up in a different world, and have a lot less sexual hang ups.

 

You say his watching of porno bothers you, ok, so you want him to stop, ok.

 

but the real question is WHY DOES IT BOTHER YOU?!!! you see the problem is not him, its you, he may need that stuff to keep him in the mood,

 

People get offended by whatever they are conditioned to be offended by. its all a point of view. the reason he just doesnt understand why this bothers you, is because he doesnt see anything wrong with it, except for the fact you have a problem with it.

 

I bet it wouldnt bother him if you were to join him and watch these things together. you see the difference, HE doesnt have a problem, YOU have the problem. As long as there are no victims there is no crime. he is not cheating on you, even though your insecurities may make you think that way.

 

I am glad I was raised in different cultures because it allowed me to see things from different points of view, and I love the US but frankly many girls there are not very comfortable with sexuality as a whole.

 

So instead of trying to CURE him of his "Problem" maybe you should look at fixing yours instead.

 

by the way I dont even like porn myself, i am more into erotica photography, but it doesnt offend me, .

 

Let me put all this into perspective, Have you ever read a romance novel? in that novel were there not sexual situations? did those sexual situations move you in any way? ahhhhhh !!! think about that for awhile!!

[Lisa216]

 

 

Thanks for all the input guys! Me and my boyfriend talked it out. I think it will be okay now.

 

I really don't mind if we were to watch a porno together. We've done that before. It's just the constant staring at all these naked girls. I mean, if he were to do it a few times a week when I wasn't home or something, I wouldn't have said anything. But when it gets to the point where he is looking at naked girls while I'm in the shower and planning to have sex when I get out, it just hurts my feelings a little bit. He said he wouldn't do it anymore when I'm at home so I guess it's resolved.

 

I think Gilgamesh is really sensitive to this subject. I guess his girlfriend is getting sick of him looking at porn too. (hehe) Although, I appreciate the input, Gilg.

[Gilgamesh]

If your boyfriend has obsesive behavior then thats another thing altogether.

 

As I said I dont care much for porno, and probably have seen more by request of my girlfriend than what I ever have put on by my choice.

 

Lets say I am not the spectator type, more of a participant.

 

What Iam sensitive is to the fact that some people are to sensitive and see things that arent there, and ruin perfectly good relationships for minor crap.

 

Dont sweat the small stuff.