I'm back here again ;-(

[robert7x]

I've been gone from this site for 2 wonderfull years (to me at least). I found another great girl i just wanted to spend my life with... I dont know if there are still some old members here but i've been here for a while....

 

Well it looks like all is lost yet again... Yes we faught every once in a while because of our differences, but never once did i feel like i want to break up or lose her. Maybe it's the fact that i dont want to be alone, those cold lonely winters... So painfull. I know how all you guys feel here... I felt your pain so many times and every time it hurts just as much as the last time.

 

Today after talking she told me "i'm just not happy in relationship. I love you but i dont know if it will ever get better between us. I'm just not happy with myself."

 

That really hurt me, from her and my side. First i cant believe i caused her pain by our fights and second i cant believe i'm going to be all alone again.

I feel this is it for me... I'm 28 and yet i feel like... No reason to live. I have everything in the world, but love. At the end what good is all when you're

lonely?

 

We talked for an hour... I did something which i promised myself i'd never do again... I asked her for second chance for us... Not to give up on us after 2yrs. Yup, yet again i took my pride and threw it down the toilet. Her answer was "i dont know i dont think it'll get better... Etc"

 

At the end, she said yes. However, that to me fealt like not being with me because of me but... because of feeling sorry? Or pitty?

 

I dont know what to do. It's not officialy over, but i'm already going thru a rollercoaster. I keep telling myself: "it'll be ok, you'll survive, it's not the end". But it sure as hell feels like it.

 

No point of telling you all about feelings, cant work do anything... You know it all.

 

What do you all think? This site got me thru my worst times in life so many times... It's sad but this place is my only friend.

[mistrall]

hi mate, sorry to hear about this but i guess you know the drill, get your self tough just incase, dont come accross needy or anything like that ok.

it could just be a blip but then again it might not be so prepair mentaly but put your best foot forward at the same time.

 

dont crowd her but let her know that your there for her, ask her what it is that she is unhappy about and seem properly interested, they dont always give us the real story of whats going on because they expect you to guess because thats what they expect, go with your gut on this man. i dont know the girl only you do i hope it goes ok, keep posting if you need - im new here but i am here hehe

 

x M

[eatpraylove]

Awe, I'm sorry to hear you are back here but it is good to know you have a place to go.

 

Everyone here can relate, so you are in good company and that is comforting in a small way, yes?

 

Well clearly I'd say your gut feeling is usually the right feeling and if you feel that she said "yes" to you for a 2nd chance but it was only out of pity then as much as you'd like to fool yourself that is not the case (wouldn't we all), you are already beginning the process of grieving, which is telling me (and you) that you already know the real truth of this.

 

So as much as it hurts, what is it we have learned from countless stories of pain and healing from this site, if nothing else? Once you have pulled your pride up off the ground and put it back in your chest, then you have to go NC, right? And tho we know it feels like your worse nightmare is realized, whether you are talking to her or not...because the symptoms are still the same...can't eat, sleep, anxious, naseaous, can't focus, cant work...its' better to get thru this process with a quick rip of the bandade then a slow, agonizing pull of it, yes? Which the latter is what we feel when we stay in LC or FC with the ex or still agonize over whether we are still in a relationship or not...

 

Take some control back, once it's finally ended (and it will, whether you do it or she does), go NC and heal. Let her wonder about you, which she will and get yourself back as only we can when we have our own time to reflect and slowly heal...it will happen again, you'll heal, you'll love again and you'll look back at this time just as you did before and once again, marvel at how much growth you've done.

 

Remember before when you thought you WOULDN'T get thru that one too??? But you did...and you will again.

 

Keep venting here, not to her....but you know that! Start the process.

 

And it SUX! I'm so sorry, cuz I know how much you'd like to believe and yet KNOW otherwise

[Philos]

Ya man... my ex dumped me almost 2 months ago to the day... I screwed it up, neglected her and took her for granted.

 

Be careful about the way people say 'it gets better' around here. Tackle your problems now, head on. I'd advise going to therapy. Just started my first day of therapy today. Going for twice a week for a month then once a week until it finishes. Been semi-suicidal. Crying a lot. Real real pain now. That just started 5 days ago.

 

Life sucks. It'll get better, yes, but it'll be a different life.

 

When they break up with you, they break you up from your life and however long you you were with them.

 

I still want to get with her, realizing that it was my fault for pushing her away. Once I go through school this year, get my career job 10 months from now, finish my therapy and get better, I might send her an email.

 

However, I realize if I get better based on the belief that I can reconcile, then my healing isn't real.

 

Shes been with another guy for a month and a half now.... That puts me off. I don't know. Maybe I won't email her for years once I've had some more relationships (hopefully the next one lasts forever though..)

[sunday2010]

Hi welcome back I;m sunday 2010 been broken up with for 4 months..

 

traumatic b/U after 3 years an ten together... he ended it..

 

I'm still trying to deal...I'm sorry you're back but ya know we are all here ...

 

I never thought i would still be on here but i need the help...

[Nappyloxs]

Welcome back, but sorry for the circumstances.

 

Look read about relationships, learn about yourself, and how you can be better in a relationship. If you love this girl and want to be with her than be with her. Just because you briefly broke up does not mean she is not the one. Healthy couples go thru crap too. Both my best friends are happily married, but both have broken up with their wives at one time or another.

 

Good Luck and welcome back

[robert7x]

Thanks for everybody's comments. It really means a lot to me right now. I know a lot of you are suffering from the same pain and agony that we all share. I know it'll get better... Eventually. But right now is the problem.

 

I can't stop thinking about how the damn, cold and miserable winter is coming... Yet again alone in my apartment in front of fireplace with just the thoughts of what once was, and what could have been.

[sunday2010]

Thanks for everybody's comments. It really means a lot to me right now. I know a lot of you are suffering from the same pain and agony that we all share. I know it'll get better... Eventually. But right now is the problem.

 

I can't stop thinking about how the damn, cold and miserable winter is coming... Yet again alone in my apartment in front of fireplace with just the thoughts of what once was, and what could have been.

 

Hey I'm from australia and my ex dumped me in early May this year I faced an agonizing winter ahead as its winter in australia when its your summer and for some reason it seemed the coldest winter I have ever been through.there were some horrible horrible days and the sun rarely came out that winter.Winter is tough for breakups Its now spring but you know I will never forget the worst winter fo my life.I just discovered a song by kanya west called"Coldest winter" its a bout a breakup the lyrics say it all and summed up my winter just gone.Check it out.

 

i rememember thinking it was the hardest winter I ever faced... But it has to get better it can only...I came here alot and still come here for ongoing help...

[Philos]

Ya.... winter is warmer when you have someone to hold.

 

I'm not looking forward to this winter, cold and alone, jobless and depressed.

[bwhite00]

Honestly it doesn't sound like your case is hopeless.

 

Even though she agreed to giving things another shot - was there anything specific she said that you could work on to make her more satisfied in the relationship? (I.e. Communication, affection, attention...)

 

since you're kind of emotionally wrecked at this point, why you may suggest is a mutual period of time where you'll give each other space to gather your thoughts. I think that would be far preferable to smothering her with attention at this point.

[robert7x]

We said that... Actually she said it but it felt like pitty and feeling sorry for me rather then love. Last night when we went to eat... It just wasnt it. She was distant cried again. We talked but pretty much got nowhere. She's imature for her age and i couldnt get anywhere. It was all i dont know, i'm not sure etc.

 

I drove her home and just told her i guess i'll talk to you next week. She was worried i might do something so she texted to see if i got home and am ok. I told her that i'll just probably turn off my phone and that she should use this time to think about us. I actually just blocked her number cause it's for the best right now... She needs this time away from me and i shouldnt talk to her because i may start sounding like a girl and do all the things i shouldnt.

 

She called couple of times today and emailed to see if i'm ok. I never replied or answered...

 

So as much as i wish that there is some way she'll wake up and realize what i actually mean to her... I doubt it'll happen.

 

Today being the first day, it's very hard. I talked two of my friends... The only ones i have now... Which they'll be leaving soon too, and it got me thru the day. I bought bunch of sleeping pills and am hoping i could just sleep thru monday...

[Philos]

I'm sorry man =(

 

I'm thinking of taking some Tylenol PM myself maybe... I only sleep 3-4 hours a night now =/