lonelynshy Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 No offense meant,but I don't understand many of you. The common response seems to be (I paraphrase) "The nice girl will eventually realize her mistakes and start chasing you(the nice guy)". Well...do you see what is wrong with that situation? You have a 'nice' girl who has had plenty of experience and even though she has made bad choices in the past,she DID have choices. And here you have a nice guy who's probably still a virgin,probably never been kissed,and totally inexperienced. How on earth will the two get along? In 90% of cases,they never will. The guy will always feel jealous of her past and the girl will feel more in control of the situation even though that's not something girls want. It's a vicious cycle. The girl thinks the guy wasn't right for her. The guy continues feeling left out and discouraged. Does anyone have a solution to this paradox? Link to comment
Princess777 Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Please, no one get offended, I'm really trying to help here......I still maintain my position on this topic that nice guys are looking in the wrong places for nice girls, and please don't take this the wrong way, but since when is every girl walking supposed to fall in love with you? No one has that luxury! Nice girls don't have all the guys falling all over them out in public either, because that's not where they are most of the time..... It's all about matching personalities... the outgoing personalities are more noticeable because they're outgoing, so you see them hooking up. The more shy the person, the less you see of them, hence less the chance of meeting. Make sense? For instance, if you're a "nice guy" chances are the thought of spending every weekend at a dance club or a really busy bar is not really your bag. Try some of the places/situations I mentioned earlier. State parks, recreational areas, social functions, local stores, malls, libraries, etc., etc., I mentioned before. Plus, why would you get so upset over not getting a girl who's not your type anyway? Try not to give so much power to the "bad boys"..... they don't always have it made like you think they do, or nearly like they like to make you think they do. Link to comment
Caldus Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 You have a 'nice' girl who has had plenty of experience and even though she has made bad choices in the past,she DID have choices. And here you have a nice guy who's probably still a virgin,probably never been kissed,and totally inexperienced. How on earth will the two get along? In 90% of cases,they never will. The guy will always feel jealous of her past and the girl will feel more in control of the situation even though that's not something girls want. It's a vicious cycle. The girl thinks the guy wasn't right for her. The guy continues feeling left out and discouraged. I don't think that's always true. I don't think many girls care too much about the guy's past relationships (if any). They just want to be with someone who matches their requirements. That's all. You got to start somewhere anyway, right? Link to comment
lonelynshy Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Perhaps that is true,but the guy might certainly care about her past relationships *because* he hasn't had any. If he was also experienced like her,then it would not be an issue. I for one would care. That's why I sometimes think about having a quick relationship with some 'bad' girl out there and ending it,as I would then be able to keep 'experience' under my belt. But that kind of behaviour does not make me a nice guy anymore. It's hard. Link to comment
Caldus Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Perhaps that is true,but the guy might certainly care about her past relationships *because* he hasn't had any. I wouldn't be concerned. I'm not sure about the other guys here though. That's just me. Link to comment
frail Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 awww don't feel bad. I'm sure you've herd it time and time again, that if they aren't going to give you a chance, then they're not worth it. Although it gets really frustrating when they don't EVER give you a chance. And yes there are girls who like the nice guys. Because there are also the "Nice girls finish last" group out there and i'm a member. I don't get many chances either. But chin up, a nice girl will come along eventually and realize how wonderful you are. Link to comment
Pyralis Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 And yes there are girls who like the nice guys. Amen to that! I don't get many chances either. But chin up, a nice girl will come along eventually and realize how wonderful you are. I feel the same way too because I'm the shy and quiet type and I'm sure that I've missed out on many chances I may have otherwise had. I don't feel that driving myself nuts trying desperately to search out "The One" is for me. I'd like to keep a hold on my sanity. (or at least what I have left of it.) I do believe that a special someone will find you when you least expect it. I've recently found someone that I feel I really connect with just a few weeks ago. It just sort of happened out of the blue. So, as frail said, chin up, that special someone will come along some day. Link to comment
titan1 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 IT does not pay to be a nice guy. Consciously -- they are lecturing you on the belief that you should be a nice guy and they tell their family and friends that is what they want. This has nothing to do with engendering real attraction........ Their subconscious indicators are closer to: 1. respect. 2. appearance 3. excitement elicited by these variables 4. confidence.......... Nice or not-------- good looking or bad--------- aim your head down at the floor with bad posture looking like a beaten man and you could be in super-180's Reda, the nicest guy in the world-- the interest will only be there by a few fetish types that like that........... You can't rely on women's conscious thoughts on what attract them -- everyone has the same answers--- and if look at the lsat 10 guys they slept with -- nice guy won't be the big variable............. Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 ^couldn't say it any better Link to comment
Princess777 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Wow! "Look at the last 10 guys a girl has slept with ????!!!!!!!" Geez, I feel like a saint!!!! Link to comment
Shinobie Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Ya from what i see there are so many girls that constantly sleep around from what i hear about friends and their siblings.Man dude its retarded why must some of u women do this i know its not all but why?I thought girls were better at controlling their hormones or is it just the guys that get to them that effects them?Like the girls who sleep around practically have no respect for themselves or anybody else who actually has common sense in that matter has no respect for them.Yay wee i love how i dont understand girls and how some act like that its great fun, great!O well mang like outlaw said u we never got them and never will. Link to comment
warnerbro1 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Nothing wrong with being nice. Link to comment
jaiva Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Well, I'm not dating one of my friends who listened to me throughout the good and the bad. So there is hope at the end of the rainbow. Don't give up helping people the right lady will come along and appreciate you love and help and will be yours soon enough. Have faith and hope. Jaiva Link to comment
Novice Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 There is a big diference between a nice guy and a sucker! Which one are you? Link to comment
Caldus Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Just be yourself. That's how you achieve inner peace within yourself. Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 Nothing wrong with being nice. Whatever... Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 When girls talk about the 'bad boys' and the guys who are 'marriage material'... well guess which category the typical nice guy would fall into? And is that such a bad thing? If you are on this site seeking help and advice and somewhere in your mind hope to become one of these 'bad boys' that girls love: Give it up. If you aren't already living the bad boy life, then it was never in you to begin with. I think you should accept that fact (and frankly, be happy with that acceptance). Warning, generalizations ahead: The younger the girls are, the more appealing a guy who is a little bit too arrogant, rebellious and 'dangerous' will be. Bad boys stir up emotions and reactions in women, and who doesnt' like a nice does of excitment and drama? Young girls certainly don't mind. As they get older, girls will have 'been there and done that' with these bad boys and will be more receptive to the guy who is, actually nice, well-adjusted and doesn't put up a front all the time. Relationships will become less about image and satisfying short-term desires, so they will want to settle with someone who's more stable, and heck, maybe even a good father figure. This naturally leads into the whole biologcal discourse which I frankly hate getting into, so I won't. The thing is, no matter how old they are, women all dig confidence and someone who simply is their own man. I believe that so long as you are one confident, self-assured S.O.B. who isn't a doormat for women, this whole nice guy/bad boy thing will be a non-issue. Females on this site, feel free to rip apart my pet theory on this topic, cuz i'm always open to learning new things. But this stuff come from my own experiences of course, not to mention gems of wisdom passed on from close friends who have gone the distance in many relationships. "Nice" is perfectly fine, as long as it doesn't mean "boring", "dull", "no confidence", "weak", etc. etc. Link to comment
aquabubbles2001 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 look I love nice guys I dont date much and my first and only b/f so far was a nice guy.. we broke up after 7months relationship cause we felt distant but I still love him.. Link to comment
Cassie Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 One interesting thing to note from my own personal experience; I had been gone from my home town for almost four years while studying abroad. When I returned home three months ago, almost all of my old girlfriends were married. And guess which type of guys were snatched up first? All of the independent nice guys from school, who were capable of being in a stable relationship, and who could properly support their families. It's a bit discouraging for me because all of the bad boy party types are the ones still single in this area, meaning that I may have to travel overseas again just to find a potential date! Link to comment
hardcore Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 bad boys allways hen trust me hes a quote from a friend of mine a long time ago you smack a women she will never leave you end quoet i never did but i just though it was funny enoth to be quoted hah ha im off to bed Link to comment
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