In What Stage of Mourning Do You Feel Numb?

[Nana00]

Stages of mourning:

1. Denial and Isolation.

2. Anger.

3. Bargaining.

4. Depression.

5. Acceptance.

 

After a relationship ends, at what stage do you feel numb? Feeling lack of interest and motivation. I know this is normal after the death of a relationship, but how much should time pass before it's becoming alarming?

 

When we feel numb, do we contact our ex because we want to feel something? Anything. Any feeling (even negative) is better than nothing?

[majorgeek]

When my marriage of 20 years was ending, due to his infidelity, I felt numb on and off during all the stages of mourning. I think I had a bit of PTSD, because I would feel numb, and then the realization of what was happening in my life would come rushing back and it would feel like someone punched me in the stomach. It was crushing pain. I think you have a lot of insight into your own behavior, which will serve you well. The truth is, I still feel numb at times and I filed for divorce in 2007. I still mourn, not him, but the loss of my old life...the days when I felt secure and loved...before I knew he wasn't capable of that kind of feeling.

Things do get better, but I know the feeling that it won't...that there is no light at the end of that tunnel. These days, I am really happy that I am not with my ex....because I put up with a lot of BS to stay with him. I never realized how unhappy he made me until he was gone.

[kylee]

The stages of loss are more of guidlines. Truly, it is different for every person. I would say if I were to classify numbness it would be in the denial stage because it is a denial of feeling. Just keep trucking, you'll get there.

[hmmwhoknows]

Despite what many people might say, it's my opinion that numbness never happens. Not for me anyway. I'm not cold enough to feel numb about someone I once loved, even after many years.

 

Others are though. Some find it really easy.

[zip11]

for me, it was definitely in the beginning, the denial stage. i was so numb to the world for about or 2 weeks. i jumped on a plane to Vegas, and did the Skyjump off the Stratosphere twice. did absolutely nothing for me, zilch, nada, no feeling or emotion. drank quite a bit after that and nothing, didn't even have the urge to make the "drunken phone call".

 

going through it all over again b/c the perspective on my situation changed (deceived and lied to about the breakup), but i'm not as numb and it only seemed to last a day of 2...

 

do NOT contact your ex- @ all costs... i did that before in a prior relationship and all it did was drive her farther away and felt like i was stabbed in the heart

[LarsWB]

I'm in that situation right now...sort of. 16 years of marriage gone in a split second. She just drove away one day while I was at work. The months leading up to it, we had been getting along better than our whole 16 yrs together. Things were changing between us...she told me she loved me.

I put ALL my emotions and feelings out for her because I believed it was starting to help our relationship...and BAM, gone.

She has destroyed my heart and soul, and why I don't hate her guts...I don't know. I have to live and be strong to take care of my two kids that she left also. I have to be their example, their dad, and hold myself together. At one time, they're the reason I didn't kill myself. I know time heals all, but the problem is that time....well, takes time. When you hurt like I am, it's the slowest most painful thing a person can endure.

Thanks for listening.