Men, falling in love

[speak]

Men,

 

What about a girl makes you fall in love with her? What qualities make your heart melt and fall completely in love?

[OfTheStars]

umm, i know i am not male, but this is what my boyfriend said the other day:

 

the difference between love for a friend and romantic love, is that romantic love can not be justified.

[speak]

umm, i know i am not male, but this is what my boyfriend said the other day:

 

the difference between love for a friend and romantic love, is that romantic love can not be justified.

 

what exactly does he men by that

[supadoc]

You can not describe the feeling, you can not rationalise it. It kinda just happens I guess.

 

this question is too hard to answer - if we know what makes both sexes tick then eNotAlone will probably not exist!!!

[Manco]

It's a fairly basic formula:

 

1.) She has to be physically attractive. Men are extremely visual.

2.) She has to be kind and nurturing. In other words, she has to express her feminine side in such a way that he will notice it and complement it with his masculine side.

3.) You have to have enough in common to sustain decent conversation.

[OfTheStars]

what exactly does he men by that

 

well basically what he meant was if asked why he liked a friend he could rattle off a list of qualities that made him respect or admire this person, but when asked why he liked me he could cite a list of qualities too, but that what he felt transcended that and couldn't be rationalized.

 

also, this is a hard question to answer because every man will have different things they are looking for in a partner.

[LightbulbSun]

1. Beautiful smile/eyes

2. Kind heart/personality

3. Intelligence

 

These are the three top most qualities that make me crush on a girl.

[MD Geist]

I cannot say b/c I've never been in love.

 

Although I can say this much, She has to have a unique aspect about her that seperates her from everyone else.

[LightbulbSun]

I've never been 'in love' either, MDGeist, but those qualities are things that make me notice a girl, and have feelings towards her that feel like love.

 

It's been said before that oneitis is the same as love, except it's one sided. Oneitis that is two sided is love.

[AuthenticAuthor]

1) Has a big heart

2) Has a big brain

3) Keeps good care of herself

[Puddincup]

It's a fairly basic formula:

 

1.) She has to be physically attractive. Men are extremely visual.

2.) She has to be kind and nurturing. In other words, she has to express her feminine side in such a way that he will notice it and complement it with his masculine side.

3.) You have to have enough in common to sustain decent conversation.

 

I agree, but she also must not be a pushover. I think women who are too accomodating get the short end of the stick.

[Clarity]

Many posters are answering with what qualities they look for in a woman. I think that is a different question from what makes people fall in love.

 

I've recently been falling in love with my gf (of 6 months). I feel like I've crossed that transition from "like a lot" to "love" and it's really all about the little things.

 

Of course I'm attracted to her physically, to her kindness and her heart, and her intelligence, but the thing that made me fall all the way for her are the little things.

 

It's the way she touches me in non-sexual, but loving ways when we're walking or sitting together. It's the way she sings along with the radio when we're driving, not afraid of being judged. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when I least expect it. It's the way she laughs at the jokes that I make. It's the way she looks in the morning, just after getting up, embarrassed by her bed-hair, but absolutely beautiful in my eyes. It's the way she laughs period.

 

I could go on and on... it's different for everyone and almost impossible to describe.

[mr_zanon]

It's the way she touches me in non-sexual, but loving ways when we're walking or sitting together. It's the way she sings along with the radio when we're driving, not afraid of being judged. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when I least expect it. It's the way she laughs at the jokes that I make. It's the way she looks in the morning, just after getting up, embarrassed by her bed-hair, but absolutely beautiful in my eyes. It's the way she laughs period.

THAT is beautiful.

[shygal2008]

Manco hit the nail on the head..i have heard at least 3 happily married men (2 are my brothers) that have said pretty much the same exact thing...and yes men need to be visually stimulated...they need to feel attracted to her as a woman and then as a person

[AndiD]

 

It's the way she touches me in non-sexual, but loving ways when we're walking or sitting together. It's the way she sings along with the radio when we're driving, not afraid of being judged. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when I least expect it. It's the way she laughs at the jokes that I make. It's the way she looks in the morning, just after getting up, embarrassed by her bed-hair, but absolutely beautiful in my eyes. It's the way she laughs period.

 

Very cool. Show her this sometime. Or paraphrase it in a card to her. Seriously.

[JimmerJammer]

Well I think each person is different so my thoughts only go so far here. Here are things though that I have found have grabbed me in.

 

I think for BOTH sexes that physical attraction is important. I don't care how nice a woman thinks she is and tries to say looks don't really matter, it isn't an ugly fat guy my gfs cheated on me with.

 

In order for me to love a girl though I much more appreciate the chemistry I feel when I am with them. Like if I generally feel weird being around them or not myself or not welcomed in like I am accepted then I know my hearts going to have a hard time being in it. Another important thing to me is the love and attentiveness she gives to me. I don't demand her attention all the time, but things like love notes or thoughtful things that lets me know she cares about me don't hurt.

 

A girl who I can joke around with and who is great in bed doesn't hurt either. If I had to break it down into simple points it'd probably be this:

 

1) Physical Attraction

2) caring/compassion

3) good hearted

4) loyal/devoted

5) sense of humour

6) her ability to look after herself

7) how much she opens herself up to me

 

I know that likable qualities in a girl seems a lot less like "love", but I find that without those things love doesn't form. I agree with the little things that are noticed ONCE I love a girl because I admire those things about her. It's not what gets me to fall in love with her, it's what I appreciate about her as I love her more. One of my favorite scenes out of an Everyone Loves Raymond episode was when the father wipes the facial cream off his wife because he likes her without all that crap on her face. All make-up and things like that ever did was simply high-light how beautiful the last girl I dated was. It's funny how things such as watching her sleep would now be considered so creepy by her when all I did was love her for her. She was almost perfect. It's just too bad I wasn't considered the same way.

[SA_Guy99]

I can't say I've ever truly been in love with a girl, but one thing for me with one of my previous crushes that stood out for me was when she was holding her newborn nephew. I want to have a family one day, and seeing how great she was with that baby made me know she would be a good mother.

 

I know it sounds a bit mushy, but that was amazing to me, and something like that is a requirement for me to truly be in love.

[Zuzu2]

It's a fairly basic formula:

 

1.) She has to be physically attractive. Men are extremely visual.

2.) She has to be kind and nurturing. In other words, she has to express her feminine side in such a way that he will notice it and complement it with his masculine side.

3.) You have to have enough in common to sustain decent conversation.

 

Well, I had all that with my ex but he still wasn't in love with me.

 

and I had the whole list JimmerJammer posted above too. Like he told me everything about me was what he wanted.