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About mr_zanon

  • Birthday February 21

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  1. Yes, I understood it was just a question. But, in my opinion, he must be left in the dark as much as possible. Since he decided to break-up in the first place, and now it seems he regrets doing it, then I think that everything he does now should be because he wants to be back, not because he knows she wants him back. He should have as little information as possible. You got the idea: he must prove he is serious about it. Talk is cheap. Actions count. I think that before she even thinks about talking to him about reconciliation, he should DO something, prove what he says. It's easy and good for HIM to have this rebound girl AND talk about trying again. And, if he doesn't want reconciliation...one more reason to close the door on him. People like that annoy me. He shouldn't be saying all those things. Ah, we agree about the basics.
  2. I disagree with you in one thing: First, he must dump the other girl. If his intentions are true, then there cannot be someone else in the picture. Second, and only after he dumps her, then they should talk about reconciliation. I don't see myself talking to a girl about trying again if she's seeing another guy. No way. If that's me she wants, then why there is someone else in the story? No sense to me. Besides this detail, I agree with you.
  3. That's just correct. I never heard from her again. It's been 7 months since the break-up, 6 without any contact. I don't know what's up with her, but I know I have moved on. Hope she's as happy as I am.
  4. Information is always welcome, but we never know if the rebound relationship falls under the 95% or the other 5%...so, I consider this last sentence you wrote the most important thing in the whole post: Thanks for the info.
  5. I gave up on the "what ifs" sometime ago. They didn't help me at all. I'd love to think that you're correct, but I don't. I tried getting her back for a couple weeks after the break up. She didn't want me back. She's with a co-worker now. It's been 3 weeks since I last spoke to her, and now I'm emotionally much better than before. I'd like her to come back, but I'm not acting like she will. Yesterday was her birthday. I didn't even think about calling her. No use. Would calling her make a difference now? Probably not. Until she realises she wants to be with me, I think there's nothing I can do. If she thought just like the way I do, then she shouldn't be hanging around with the new guy. She's a grown-up, she knows what she's doing. Or at least should know. Maybe some months from now I'll give her a call. Or maybe not. She knows how to contact me, if she ever feels like talking to me. And, answering your first question...I don't think she's waiting for me to call. She's got a new guy, and they're together just about everyday - except when she's at the university. So, now that you know all this, do you still think she's waiting for me to call her?
  6. Anyway, as it has been said in these forums, we just can't sit and wait. Yes, my ex's behavior fits a lot of things people said, and the same people said that this kind of dumper often comes back. But what if it takes a year or more until they come back? Or even worse, what if they never come back? Although we want them back, we can't wait for them to come back. We have to live our lives as if we were sure they won't ever return. Then, in the end, if they do come back, we have a choice: we try to work things out, or we just realise we are better without them. I know, easier said than done. I'm going through this too. It's very hard in the beginning to accept this, but it gets easier (less hard, I'd say). It's hard for me to come home after work knowing she won't be there waiting for me. But that's reality now, and I must get used to it. The contradiction kills me...to get her back, I must leave her alone. I still hope that, some months from now, she will miss me to the point of wanting to try again. But that's what I hope for. I don't know what she hopes for. And, since the break up is so fresh (almost 2 months), I don't think she's thinking about me the way I'd like to hear. Whatever, enough about me. Heal. Don't think they will come back. When you think you're ready, go find someone new. If they ever come back, you decide if you both will get back together.
  7. I know. I almost said it myself, but I thought you had already made it pretty clear in the first post.
  8. Mayday, based on the cases you've heard of, how high is "quite good"? 50%?
  9. Mayday, Mayday...man, I was feeling a little sad. I came to ENA, picked up this thread by the subject, and suddenly found out: it's from Mayday. It's gonna be a good read. When I read that above, I laughed. It was like "are you talking about me?". The second last point was the best one. My dear ex: 1. had some contradictions when breaking up. Body language told me she didn't really want to break up, but she did anyway; 2. we had our share of problems, but it was nothing that would cause a break up. At least, not without some fights before 3. yes, she started partying a lot. Before, it usually was once a week, rarely more; 4. yes, she WROTE that. "Don't know about the future, maybe we'll be together again". And told me to "live my life" (correct translation?), to move on. 5. new guy in the picture exactly 2 weeks later. Some incompatibilities already known; 6. She's 25 (until next Tuesday)! 7. Long term relationship (5.5 years), never had a break up, lived together for the last 2.5 years. All checked. Mayday, I hope you're right. I've been working on myself for weeks now, both mind and body. My body is noticeably better now. I'd say almost as good as when we met. My mind is better, but not as much. Thanks again. Your posts are always between the best I've read here.
  10. Speaking of rebounds...something came to mind today. I've searched for an answer to the question "how long does the honeymoon phase last?". Of course, the answers I found were all from other forums, so they can't be really trusted. Some people said 3-6 months, other people said 4-8 months, some people said that science tells us it lasts about 18-24 months...but one thing caught my attention. Some people said that the honeymoon phase lasts longer in long distance relationships. Assuming it's true, here comes my question: Would the opposite be true? If they see each other just everyday, would the honeymoon phase be shortened? Has anyone experienced this, or know someone who has?
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